Project Runway: We Are All Birthing Chinese Prostitutes

The Runway Rundown

1. With only five contestants left, and a limp challenge receding into the distance (Andy's winning Lululemon knockoff was immediately co-opted without pay by Heidi Klum for Grey and Listless Athletic Wear), this week's Project Runway challenge is a welcome return to two seasons ago. We'll let Mayor Bloomberg take it from here...

2. Yep, Mr. Mayor guest-stars in this episode. He greets the contestants and Tim Gunn on at their standard place for conducting important business--a sweeping, windy terrace--and announces the mission for this episode. "You are to draw inspiration from something that really means the most to me: Ground Zero mosques New York itself," he says.

3.The five competitors race out into our great, complex, mercurial island to find the most obvious inspirations fathomable. Michael C. stares at the Statue of Liberty - "what a beautiful draped dress!" exclaims a contestant who has produced nothing but boring Grecian folds, and should have been eliminated six episodes ago. Gretchen feels under-inspired, as she spends the entire afternoon looking in a mirror (surely this happened but was edited for time). April stares at the water, thinking emo thoughts.

4. Andy saunters off to Central Park and studies the pathways and branches in sunlight. Mondo peers majestically over the Brooklyn Bridge, so inspired that he falls asleep in the workroom for an hour and a half instead of starting the resulting garment.

5. "I gave birth to a Chinese prostitute!" exclaims Andy, staring at his warrior-chic black leather dress with modified Mandarin collar. The back is a deep scoop, which he modifies with strips of black to beautifully mimic the park crossroads. But still, this is a hilarious summation.

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