The New York Post Really Wants You to Party In Midtown. Bad.

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Lavo: If this looks good to you, please go there.
The new Manhattan hotspot, according to the New York Post, is Midtown, and specifically Lavo, a 500-person nightclub on 58th Street where Geoge Clooney's onetime girlfriend works (and she could work anywhere -- right? Right?), as well as Covet and the Andaz Fifth Avenue Hotel. Persons of a certain age may remember the location of Lavo as the former location of Au Bar. We'll speak no further about that. In an article done the way only the Post can (for better or worse), they tout the many unsung delights of this new promised party land: a little bit Vegas, a little bit...well, we'll let you decide.

Perks include:
--Models dancing on banquettes, "swilling $400 bottles of vodka purchased by middle-aged finance-industry types who don't think twice about buying a liter or two to be a part of the show."

--A cute do-it-yourself nickname: The "Midpacking District."

--This:

The people who pack these clubs tend to be a bit older and more professional. This crowd typically heads into work at 8 a.m. and wants an after-dinner drink that doesn't require a half-hour trip to the Meatpacking District, followed by the hassle of getting past a rude doorman. In the Midpacking District, it's not who you know, but whether you made a reservation.

(Translation: It's people who can't get in anywhere the Meatpacking District, where you don't want to go anyway. Unless you're on crack.)

--Also:

"People are tired of having to travel downtown. It's wonderful."

(Translation: No one who already lives downtown, or in Brooklyn, is going to these clubs.)

--Added benefit, Midtown is just where you want to party -- NEAR THE OFFICE:

"The trick with entertaining is finding something near the office. It's difficult to ask people to travel."

--Someone in SoHo actually went to Midtown to party, once!

Until a month ago, Harger says she might've spent a night at Meatpacking District club Le Bain. Tonight, she's partying at Covet. "I think Midtown is coming around," says Harger. She adds: "It's like people are thirsty for a new place to go. It's an older crowd. More of an Upper East Side crowd."

--According to another Midtown scenester, Midtown dudes are "cleaner." Like, you know, Eric Trump.

Well, all we can say is what we tweeted when we first read this, our initial horror fading with the amazed realization that maybe the Post was doing us a favor.

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In related news, check out the Voice's Best of Issue for bars and clubs we actually like. Please, feel free to go to Midtown if you disagree.

[JDoll]

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