The Village Voice Institute of Crazy White American Folk, Pt. 2 (Letters to the Editor)
Hear now, "boy": last Wednesday's Village Voice's cover story by staff writer Steven Thrasher, an essay entitled White America Has Lost Its Mind, sure has attracted some interesting attention! Whether or not readers agree with what we have to say, we often get letters from them regarding our stories, many of which are exciting, substantial, or, at the very least, rational, nuanced, and psychologically stable. These -- the second installment in the letters we've received regarding the story -- are none of those things.
Patient #5: "Buford Wilson."
From: Buford Wilson [mailto:email@example.com]
Sent: Thu 9/30/2010 10:54 AM
To: Thrasher, Steven
Subject: TAKE A SHOWER BOY YOUR CUNT SMELLS OF LIBERAL SKANK![No Email Body]
Diagnosis: Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. Patient exhibits hyperactive imagination through delusions of ability to perceive non-existent smells through superhuman olfactory senses, while also, inability to complete tasks, demonstrated by poor sans-body email etiquette. Patient also exhibits classic signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, ordering others to hyper-maintain his perceptions of their personal hygiene.
Recommended treatment: The Manly-Cure™, available at Bliss Spa locations everywhere. Also, 30 MG of Valium, once a day at lunch.
Patient #6: "David Waller."
From: David Waller
Sent: Fri 10/1/2010 9:22 PM
To: Thrasher, Steven
Subject: F youYou're a vulgar, neurotic, cracker.
Like ghandi said, we don't hate you, we just want you to leave.
Want to get along? Keep your black hands to yourself, keep your mouth shut, obey the law, and pay heavy taxes.
You're not appealing to peoples cortexes but their spleens. Vile sewage. Black people can hardly read. They should not be allowed to write.
What's the future then? Majority rule like s africa? A nation of dark alleys? Maybe a hundred oaklands or detroits popping up around the country would convince you that your destiny is to die in your own corruption! If all the whites left, you be screwed and you know it.F you
Diagnosis: Delusional cross-projection (calling attending clinicians Dr. Thrasher and Dr. Kamer both African American or "black" as well as a "cracker") along with intensely disproportionate self-importance could be construed as a hypo-manic episode, and thus, a classic sign of Bipolar 2.
Recommended treatment: Repeat viewings of White Man's Burden, followed by removal of all African American influence in contemporary society from patient's life. Patient should be anticipated to hit "rock bottom" once his personal societal infrastructure collapses lacking support of African American community at-large or when his Fantasy Football season capsizes, whichever comes first, at which point: intravenous lithium drip, one hour, twice a day.
Patient #7: Michael Turner
From: Michael Turner <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: Sat, 2 Oct 2010 00:43:35 -0700
Subject: RE: "White America Has Lost Its Mind"Steven,
Read your article. Very interesting stuff.
Just wanted to remind you of a few key statistics.1) 33% of African-American men between the ages of 20-29 are under some form of correctional supervision or control
2) There are more black men in prison than in college
3) Black males are nearly 7 times more likely to end up in prison than white males
4) While blacks only make up a quarter of NYC's population, they typically commit 65%+ of its crime
5) Need I touch on the statistics of black men as fathers?
After reading your article and I must say, you have big balls for being a nigger. But let's face the facts here, chief. You're still nowhere near equal to us, and never will be.
Diagnosis: Idiot savant. Patient proves cognitive ability to understand and recite mathematical statistics but inability to process them into their inherent leanings, instead, affixing them to his own ego-projections, and possibly physical: remark about attending clinicians imaginary oversized testicles worth looking into.
Recommended treatment: Weekend in Vegas at the blackjack tables with long-lost, exponentially more functional, better-looking non-invalid brother, with all revenue from winnings going to the Southern Poverty Law Center, followed by cocktail of neuro-stabilizers and fistfuls of Advil. Also, trip to urologist, or at the very least, a "turn your head and cough" physical that also tests for classic signs of steroid abuse.
Patient #8: "Clint"
From: Clint [mailto:email@example.com]
Sent: Sun 10/3/2010 2:05 PM
To: Thrasher, Steven
Subject: U r a piece of shit
The day your gun toting, drug selling, baby machines, non educated, prison filling race takes over white people won't care. The US will be fucked...just look at all those African countries ran by all the browns....you poor soul really have no clue do you. You pretend to think you know but you don't. Do you think white people are just gonna step aside after centuries of building this country...posh posh you poor thing. Think about it...white people may have lost it, but brown people never fuckin had it and will never have this country as successful as the crazy whites. You sir are a prime example of this idiocy, the moment your people deem they have control dumb bloggers like yourself will make articles like this that will inflame the white minority and talk about an uprising of people... The browns would be powerless...I hope when it goes to hell you have at least one white friend who can save you...it won't be me!!! Hey have a good one, theres not to many left you silly browny!! You are just to funny..I hope your white boss don't fire you!
Sent from my iPhone
Diagnosis: Patient is fascinating study in mass, paranoid delusion, suffering from devastatingly common "End of World" fears never not present throughout greater history of human civilization. To wit: patient is seemingly under the fearful impression that his homeland is about to be taken over by a culture not his (one he even possibly understands that his ancestry brought to said homeland). Patient has also disregarded majority of human history to fabricate alternate dimension where he is responsible for dictating such knowledge. Astounding!
Recommended treatment: Induced trauma to counter and compartmentalize hyperactive paranoia in patient: Shock therapy, four times a day, administered by Oprah Winfrey or Tyler Perry dressed in "Madea" garb.