50 Reasons to Be Pretty Damn Euphoric You Live in New York City

24. When you fly back into the city after a vacation or business trip, no matter how long you've lived here, you get that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling.

23. Efficiency in a drugstore checkout line.

22. How easy it is to find doughnuts, pizza, Chinese food, or any other snack your drunken self desires at 4 a.m. Or to continue to drink. Responsibly!

21. Broadway. Museums. CULTCH-AH. Even if you never actually go to see anything (though you should, at least once).

20. Yelling "fuck" is just a mild obscenity.

19. There's no shame in sticking your fingers in your ears like an anal weirdo when an ambulance goes by screeching.

18. Summer concerts at the Williamsburg Waterfront.

17. So many Missed Connections, so little time.

16. Other places have dog and cat people. We have ferret people.

15. The splendor of the Union Square Greenmarket.

14. A bagel with cream cheese and lox from Russ and Daughters.

13. There is an insane Korean day spa (Spa Castle) waiting for you in Flushing. And Russian and Turkish baths in the East Village.

12. One of our bars has 100-year-old urinals.

11. Complain about the MTA, but you can get anywhere in the city for just $2.25. Or $2.50 single ride, come 2011. Still pretty damn cheap.

10. Subway rage. Bike-lane rage. Walking rage. Random rage. These are our therapy. Although we all go to therapy, too. No judgments! We bitch, therefore we are.

9. Jaywalking is an art form.

8. The free Ikea ferry to Red Hook on weekends! Plus, Red Hook in general. Can you say "Lobster pound"?

7. Subway "prewalking," in which you walk to the exact right spot on the platform to board the train car that will save you the most time upon exit, exists and has a name. Gotta respect.

6. You can be alone, but never feel lonely. And vice versa. But if you die and aren't found until a year later, you won't be the first.

5. We are, as a group, anti-fanny-pack as much as we are pro-gay-marriage. Hetero marriage, on the other hand, we can pretty much take or leave.

4. 35 is the new 26. Or is it 45? Whatever, age ain't nuthin' but a number, and as long as you're younger than your IQ score, no harm, no foul.

3. Finding your "local" is that much better here.

2. There is absolutely no reason to ever drink and drive. Added bonus: Spontaneous, fascinating conversations with cab drivers.

1. If you can make it here, you really can make it anywhere. But why would you bother to go anywhere else?

Let us know what we missed.

JDoll [@thisisjendoll], with Myles Tanzer [@mylestanzer] and Averie Timm [@avenyc]

ALSO: Our response to the NYC haters.


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585 comments
NichoLas DoshNer
NichoLas DoshNer

this was written 4 years ago? 11. Complain about the MTA, but you can get anywhere in the city for just $2.25. Or $2.50 single ride, come 2011. Still pretty damn cheap.

janenower
janenower

Hmmm.  I live in Brooklyn and have all that you have in California. Have my coffee  sitting on my patio,  have my own washer and dryer, would never go to Chick fil a , one reason is because I don't think we have that greasy garbage in the city and

we have so many wonderful other places to eat. YES  I drive everyplace even to work.  The kids in bars are taken their by the hipsters who probably come  from California because I don't know a real New Yorker who would hang out in a bar with their kids.  I can sit on the beach in the summer and  also go skiing in the winter time,( constant hot weather is boring.)

BTW you will never beat NY on anything, we have all you have and more besides at holiday time New York is the ONLY place to be, you can't match that. Oh btw I only work 35 hours a week.

Dutty D Comedian
Dutty D Comedian

Nyc..isn't the same anymore. People of color are being pushed out and there's only people from the midwest here now. It's bland like wisconsin or something.

Curtis Mayfree
Curtis Mayfree

If jaywalking is an art form then being smashed dead like a red pancake in clothes is it's highest form of art.

John David Riley
John David Riley

-1. You get a list of reasons for things almost every day.

Srednas Eednarb
Srednas Eednarb

A new post?!? Not the Tom Petty piece again? WOW! *faints from all the unbelievables*

Jody Yela
Jody Yela

the greatest city that has everything to offer. Only big problem is the traffic and the rent, but I love my NYC

Ted Cantu
Ted Cantu

You cant make it in detroit though, theyre close minded here on everything

brendalizortiz
brendalizortiz

47-44 my leg still hurt-41-39-38-36-33 at least in my line of work-30-28-26-25-24-23-11-8-7 one of my favorites-4-2 remember @Edward? and of course #1

Daniel G Herbst
Daniel G Herbst

They are owned by a privileged 1%er,why should they complain?

Michael Quinones
Michael Quinones

I see. It's a real wonder why the Voice rarely attacks him as they did Guiliani. I'm guessing they got brainwashed too.

Greta von Otto
Greta von Otto

And one big reason to cut your throat: De Blasio!

Michael Quinones
Michael Quinones

Smart people are the norm? How do you explain the Bloomberg years?

Tea Gjini
Tea Gjini

I have one, 30 degrees on March 21st. Hahaha...NO

Suckers
Suckers

50 Reasons I'm Blissfully Happy I finally moved from NYC to LA:

50. I have a washer/dryer in my house so I can do laundry anytime, for free, and have my clothes ready to wear within an hour without paying for it or depending on anyone else. 49. I drink my first cup of coffee in my garden every morning 48. We have Chick-fil-A drive-throughs everywhere.  47. Crazy people no longer piss on my window, shit in my foyer, or hang out on my stoop 46. The view from the Griffith Observatory or the cliffs in Malibu. Actually the view from my living room is pretty epic as well. 45. Sitting next to the ocean 44. The epic feeling I get being in the climate controlled comfort of my own car, with my favorite song turned up and in complete control of where I am going. No strangers clipping toenails next to me or peeing in my seat. Yay! 43. Dexter, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Arrested Development, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia and a million other things that film here and we love.  42. East-side/West-side wars never cease to entertain.  41. Inside jokes? Who has time for that or cares? I’m busy relaxing at the beach 40. That horrified look on our parents' friends' faces when we tell them we live in "Hollywood" 39. Not even gonna touch this NYC name-dropping bullshit. We’ve got that more than covered in LA, and ps you won’t be working out next to Alec Baldwin anymore because he hates you. 38. People around the world drink, you’re not special. Get over it 37. If New York loved you so much it wouldn’t be charging you $2000 for a studio. 36. If I need something in LA I could get it delivered but I’d probably be more apt to get off my fat ass and go get some fresh air and get it myself 35. Let me get this straight, you’re ecstatic about living in New York because someday you hope to rid yourself of bed bugs? Sounds awesome. 34. There are 989 bars in Los Angeles but whatever. Watching the sunset with a tecate on my porch is my favorite place to drink. 33. There's no shortage ofcute hidden culture-rich corners of the city to explore 32. The endless delights of Curbed LA 31. You don't even need a passport or a license to partake in $1.00 street tacos on almost every corner. 30. I grow my own lemons, avocados, oranges, tomatoes, peppers, cilantro, basil, rosemary, and other delights in my garden so a quick organic lunch is free and effortless 29. I no longer have to wait 3 hours to get into a restaurant or plan my entire night around what time I put my name in, but even better is that I hardly need to eat out because grocery shopping is so much more cheap and convenient here. 28. If you want to walk around looking like a freak you can do it anywhere, its not the 80s and this isn’t exclusive to NYC. 27. Huh? 26. Sorry but pretentious and self-absorbed does not equal smart. 25. Children and babies in bars have completely taken over NYC. You’re probably too busy talking about how smart you are or laughing at your own “inside” jokes to notice that baby being changed on the bar right next to you or the section reserved at your favorite bar for someone’s baby shower. Here in LA people with babies are tucked safely into their houses and yards. I have yet to see any babies at bars or weird alien-strollers covered in a plastic bubble. 24. It’s super cool getting off a plane and hitting up the space-age themed Encounter Restaurant at LAX or the beach a few miles up the street 23. Check-out clerks at grocery stores and drug stores smile at me and ask how my day is 22. I’m relieved it is not considered normal here to eat chinese food and donuts and continue drinking at 4am. College was fun, right?! 21. Estates, museums, tours, beaches, hikes, scenic drives, wineries, all at my fingertips! 20. Its so nice to no longer wake up to people honking and screaming. Thats not a pleasant way to start the day. 19. “There's no shame in sticking your fingers in your ears like an anal weirdo when an ambulance goes by screeching.” Wow. That makes you euphoric about NYC? Bit of a stretch. I mean, there are ambulances literally everywhere. 18. Free twilight concerts on the Santa Monica Pier. 17. A respect for a life well lived, meaning I now only work 40 hours a week (not 60 like in NYC) and have plenty of spare time to spend as I choose. 16. Miles and miles and miles of easily accessible pet-friendly trails 15. The splendor of any of our dozens of year-round outdoor flea markets and farmers markets. Take your pick. 14. In-N-Out. 13. Spend a day at any one of our dozens of beaches for free, year-round! 12. I’m sort of sad that your 12th most exciting reason for being euphoric about NYC is an old urinal, but for the sake of comparison you should know LA has an entire toilet-themed restaurant. 11. LA actually has a decent subway system should you choose to take it - it’s only $1.50. 10. We’re too busy jogging and hiking and doing pilates and BBQ’ing in our yards to be filled with rage. The sun is out almost every day and life is pretty happy here. 9. Free parking abound! 8. Spending a day exploring Joshua Tree or Palm Springs 7. Knowing when to drive and all of the back-routes so that you never get stuck in traffic 6. I have 1,000 square feet of private outdoor space containing fruit and vegetable trees and gardens. I very much enjoy being alone outdoors and listening to birds sing. 5. We have legal weed. 4. We look younger because our stress levels are lower, our quality of life is higher, and we get plenty of sleep and vitamin D. If all else fails, we have great plastic surgeons. 3. There are so many fun local haunts in every neighborhood that only that neighborhood knows about, exploration options are limitless 2. Uber and Lyft are 1,000x better and cheaper than some gross expensive cab or livery car any day 1. If you can make it in New York you really can make it anywhere, which is why I got the fuck out of there and went somewhere where I can actually have a quality of life that doesn’t include working non-stop to pay sky high-rent for a moldy apartment and dealing with constant shitty weather. 

Claudia Zbrzeski
Claudia Zbrzeski

number 13 russian and turkish baths.. hahahah Halina Shatravka

Halina Shatravka
Halina Shatravka

Claudia Zbrzeski instead of chik fil a, fordham panda express kk

Michael Zvirblis
Michael Zvirblis

The only people that can afford NYC are the rich & the tourists.

Trent Steel
Trent Steel

24 hour living and working?? That's BS. NY is a sleepy city where everything closes early. Go visit Miami to see a 24 hour live/work schedule.

Damian Anthony
Damian Anthony

Courtney Riley, Jay Beauchamps and Alejandro Alvarez

Lenine Romulus
Lenine Romulus

lol. rent too dam high.... I like what you wrote here " Unless you want to leave, in which case, get the fuck out, and can we have your apartment?" lmao.

Matt Kanter
Matt Kanter

Live here the past month and well see how euphoric you'd be

Rebecca Brauner Weel
Rebecca Brauner Weel

Thoroughly enjoyed this, though I do live in the land of pixie people. (#25). :-)

Lauren Kanter Billington
Lauren Kanter Billington

Jovanna Billington Rebecca Brauner Weel Katy Conrad Matt Kanter Jared Kanter Jaclyn Baker

Lauren Elizabeth
Lauren Elizabeth

I've been an NYC resident for 12 years...I still smile every morning that my commute to work involves a stroll through Central Park. No city can match our energy!

Diane Virga
Diane Virga

This article written by person 2 young 2 know NYC is shit, not "the shit", and there is no way you can sugar coat it....nice try though.

David Ngo
David Ngo

I've used the 100 year old urinal, uggh. It's not a reason to be euphoric about living in NYC.

janenower
janenower

@Suckers What do you think NYC is Manhattan only?????

Learn something it is 5 separate boroughs, Brooklyn,Queens, Staten Island ( Richmond) Bronx and Manhattan..  They are all different many except Manhattan are single family homes with back yards  with grass, patio's, decks  and even swimming pools, kids playing outside,  and almost everyone has a car many with garages. Parks, ball fields,beaches, golf courses, shopping ,amusement parks, yes we even have birds that we can sit in our backyards and listen to ,( we even have parrots flying around etc etc etc anything  you can think of you can find in NYC  ( THE FIVE boroughs)

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