Andrew Cuomo Sexy? Steve Rattner Begs to Differ

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Steve Rattner, raw hunk
Steve Rattner, the super financier just charged in an Andrew Cuomo civil suit with fraudulently bilking the state's pension fund, has obtained a written promise from People magazine that he will appear in next year's issue of the sexiest men.

Liz Sporkin, executive editor of People, told the Voice that his omission this year was a mathematical fluke.

The unprecedented announcement by the magazine was widely seen as another media victory for the spectacularly-connected Rattner in his mortal combat with Cuomo, following on the heels of Charlie Rose and MSNBC interviews that left viewers with the impression that it was Cuomo who was fighting off myriad allegations of gross misconduct. Rattner is the first major scandal figure to appear in interviews where the host disclaimers consume more time than any factual references to his wrongdoing.

"I have been subjected to every kind of threat and punishment known to man," Rattner told Rose recently, though there was no indication that Cuomo had Roseboarded him, a new torture strategy that involves being forced to listen to an endless spool of slurpy Rose interviews.

Rattner was said to be particularly incensed that Cuomo conceded in a New York Times interview this morning that he earned his listing in the just-released issue by doing a mere two days a week on the treadmill. Rattner and his best pal Arthur Sulzberger Jr., the owner of the Times, share a treadmill seven days a week and read a sweaty copy of the Times together for hours.

"Cuomo's listing, with such minimal effort and based solely on genetics, as he conceded himself in the Times interview, is a miscarriage of justice," a Rattner spokesman, Davidson Goldin, told the Voice. "People must have had a political motive for this suck-up decision."

Rattner has apparently indicated a willingness to finance a movie based on the Sexiest Men issue if he is included in 2011, Sporkin said.

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