Contest: What Are New Yorkers Thankful For in 2010?
Thanksgiving: The holiday commemorating the time this country's forefathers took a bunch of natives out to dinner before killing, raping, stealing from, and giving diseases to said natives, one that even the most pink-liberal New Yorkers find themselves celebrating in some iteration. It is, among other things, a good time to think about how great we have it.
We all have things to be thankful for, but New Yorkers -- as we well know by now -- have that many more. So -- what are yours?
- That black never goes out of style, here?
- Or how about Cathie Black?
- What of Roscoe, the Bedbug Sniffing Dog?
- Or the bedbugs that struck awful tourist-traps like the foul-smelling Hollister on Broadway in SoHo?
- Or Four Loko, while we still have it?
The point, dear Village Voice readers, is that what we have to be thankful for is so much more different than the rest of the country sometimes. We want to know why you were thankful for this city in 2010. Email us here or leave a comment on this post with your input and email address. The best ones will be published here, on Thanksgiving Day.
The very best one? We will Adopt-A-Turkey for you.
Yes! A turkey! And you can do with that turkey pretty much whatever you want, once it's out of our hands. Free it! Raise it in the city! Teach it your Haftarah portion! Or kill it with your own hands, just strangle the fucker, then cut it up, cook it until you're sure you're not gonna get salmonella poisoning or whatever bacteria turkeys carry, and proceed to make a bunch of sandwiches using some Sullivan Street Bakery bread, maybe some homemade cranberry sauce, a little bit of Kewpie mayo, some stuffing, even, and then take said sandwiches with you to work for the month of December as prime booze-soaking material for all the holiday parties you're bound to attend. Or, in a show of rather genius-even-if-it-is-pre-packaged absurdism, take it on vacation with you to Istanbul.
But in order to do so, you gotta tell us what you've been thankful for this year, New York. In turn, we -- and this guy -- will be thankful for you.
*There should probably be some legal warning about what we can and can't give away and who and who we can't give it to, but let's be clear on one thing: this blogger is not versed at all in the legalese of this company and doesn't represent it by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, Village Voice Media lawyers likely actively hate both this blog and this blogger. You do, however, have my word as a Mensch that your valiant efforts will be rewarded if they pass muster. I swear on some turkey's life.