From Bed Bugs to Brooklyn: Runnin' Scared's Top 10 "Things of the Year"

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#4 Bed Bugs
Mark Zuckerberg may have been chosen "Person of the Year," by Time, but we all know that there are certain more important things in life than people, especially people we don't even know. Thus, we would like to present Runnin' Scared's "Top 10 Things of the Year." This was a difficult choice, as there were many worthy contenders:

10. The Bros Icing Bros Meme. This started in May and carried us through the summer. It made a lot of people drink a truly disgusting substance. And it put Smirnoff Ice back on people's radar, as well as giving Foster a ton of practice in rephrasing a first paragraph...until it was supplanted by Four Loko (see "in memoriam," below).

9. The E.V. Lambo. It is orange, shiny, and beautiful. It has a Twitter. It hangs out in the East Village. And it is an enigma. May we learn more in 2011.

8. Passwords. And learning that they should not be "password," lest you face the mockery of the mainstream media once there's a massive hack and your password is stolen -- even though a massive hack means far more complex passwords were stolen as well.

7. Brooklyn, the real, geographical place, not to be confused with the "brand" Brooklyn, used to sell cigarettes, food, Ford, and things from the Gap. No, the actual Brooklyn, where people live and work and all that nonsense, and have for years. Also, New York in general.

6. Sexy Spying. Thank you, Anna Chapman, for reminding us that there can be beauty in our daily work, or lack thereof. And that Bond movies are highly realistic after all.

5. Hipster Backlash -- not with the people, but with the word. Can we please retire it in 2011? Let's describe people as people with actual characteristics and stop relying on some catch-all SEO-friendly phrase that means, pretty much, anything. Or nothing. (We admit guilt as well, which is why we agree it must stop, or at the very least, be used purely hyperbolically and/or ironically.)

4. Bed Bugs. You are in our stores, our subways, our art, our movie theaters, our workplaces, our homes. We cannot compete with you. But that doesn't mean we're giving up.

3. The Containment Cap. Seems like ages ago now, but remember when that oil rig exploded in the Gulf and oil was leaking out everywhere? After ever so many days, BP finally put a cap on it, which contained the gush significantly until the well could be "killed" completely. And now we just have the aftermath, and, for some reason, still, Tony Hayward to contend with.

2. Ineptness, in the case of Faisal Shahzad, the would-be Times Square bomber; the TSA; and even BP, for not killing us and, at the same time, giving us something to write about.

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1. When it all comes down to it, the number one Thing of the Year is clear. The greatest, most singular impact by an inanimate object in our lives in 2010 has been due to COFFEE. (The Twitterverse agrees, so it must be so.)

Coffee came into our lives before we can remember, but this year it's really surged ahead of the rest of the pack, waking us up in the morning, putting us to bed at night, and sustaining us throughout the day. We see only good things in its future, and look for better, more sustainable beans, a finer (or coarser) grind depending on preference, a longer buzz, that inevitable day we finally really clean the coffeemaker, and never running out of milk again. And so, to coffee!

Also, in memoriam: a shout-out to a few things we've lost this year:

• Law and Order.
Foster Kamer.
• The recession...right?
• Four Loko. We had good times, didn't we? And, gosh, we sure didn't have you for very long. But when we did, it was beautiful.
The Prospect Park Geese. R.I.P., feathered friends.
• The Smoking baby. Who quit.

[JDoll][@thisisjendoll]



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