The 2010 Rightblogger War on Christmas Special -- Featuring Abortion Gift Certificates!
The opportunities for outrage this year are slim, but where there's a rightblogger, there's a way, whether via imaginary banning of the colors red and green or via Planned Parenthood gift certificates. Cover the children's ears and continue!
Canonsburg, Pennsylvania recently decided to move its traditional creche from civic to private property because someone complained. The creche was relocated four doors away. This seems only a small inconvenience; "Pa. residents to celebrate despite creche removal," reported the Lebanon Daily News.
Well, Pa. residents may be celebrating, but South Capitol Street was not. "Can't have the little liberal darling being offended," they said. "Have to ruin it for everyone else..." Radio host Dennis Miller got in on it after a caller told him the creche had been "taken down": "We can have one loser whining about the Magi visiting the kid... I say you hold a candlelight vigil outside that one person who's whined's house... make his life look as silly as he's made this one. All you losers out there..." etc.
A local radio station identified the complainant as one Megan Hartley, and Chicks on the Right reacted in Christian fashion: "Sorry about that whole not-getting-asked-to-the-prom-in-high-school thing. But it seems as though you're channeling your bitterness well." A commenter helpfully published Hartley's address and linked back to Free Republic, where posters offered their assessments of "little miss nuts" ("Getting bad vibes just reading about this freak and they got way worse upon seeing her evil face." "I bet this one is a cutter... I am wondering if she has an eating disorder too," etc). Jesus would be proud!
But they don't even need an actual outrage to be outraged.
Last month there was a rumor -- or, as Fox Nation would have it, news -- that Heathrow Elementary School in Florida has banned the Christmas colors red and green from its classrooms.
'Tis the season!
County officials shot that story down, but who cares? Fox updated, but as we wrote this, Gateway Pundit ("Florida School Bans Christmas... And Christmas Colors") hadn't. Neither had Blue Collar Philosophy ("since Liberalism is a religion and those who believe in it cannot tolerate the one religion that exposes it, namely, Christianity"), nor Weasel Zippers ("it's come to this"), nor this guy, nor this one, etc.
Full Metal Patriot did update: "After receiving a predictable backlash from angry parents, the Seminole County Public Schools district has issued the following
retraction correction... This may have been a case of the school and district doing an abrupt about-face or it may have been an individual teacher taking her authority a bit too far." Or it may have been bullshit, a possibility Full Metal Patriot did not consider.
For wider distribution, there was outrage at a show at Washington's National Portrait Gallery with lots of gay art, including a David Wojnarowicz video that included an image of ants crawling on Jesus. It wasn't a Christmas show, exactly, but it will still be running at Christmas, so Republican legislators John Boehner and Eric Cantor demanded (and got) the Wojnarowicz video pulled.
Pat Buchanan sputtered about "the kind of pictures that used to be on French postcards," though regrettably he did not link to any antique postcards of ants on Jesus. "... if there are no common standards of decency, there is no moral community, and where there is no moral community, there is no country." Others wondered why the smarty-pants Wojnarowicz (who died in 1992) didn't make fun of Mohammed instead, which would be a better way to celebrate the birth of Our Lord.
This sort of thing got some folks in a bitter mood: Jimmy Z posted a song on YouTube called "Santa is a Republican" ("His suit and hat are Red/He listens to Rush Limbaugh in his sled"). The lyrics promise that Democrats won't get any presents this year because they made Santa "drink green tea and eat granola bread" and Obama taxed him, despite lack of jurisdiction. Santa in this reading runs "a small business," and is an avid follower of U.S. politics who has Tim Kaine on his dartboard. He also "loves to feast on game he kills hunting with his gun."
"I don't give a rat's butt if you are not a Christian and don't celebrate or support Christmas," said radio host Steve Bussey. "The fact is that the overwhelming majority of Americans are and do." His headline: "It's CHRISTmas - now sit down & shut the hell up!"