30 Rock Robbed of $13,000 by Accountant

Blerg! Jack Donaghy would not approve of business like this. The New York Post reports that 30 Rock accountant Matthew Rudolph, 35, has been charged with "22 counts of larceny, falsifying business records and criminal possession of a forged instrument." According to his lawyer Richard Roth, Rudolph is not guilty -- Roth calls the allegations "absurd" and "additional evidence of the NBC witch hunt." We're kind of surprised that it wasn't Liz Lemler enacting revenge for getting fired for no reason by Liz Lemon in Season 1!

If there was an episode of 30 Rock in which someone stole $13,000 it would probably go something like this:

Jack is looking over the accounts for T.G.S. and calls Liz up to his office immediately. It seems that there were an extraordinary amount of expenses reported this year and they start to go over them one by one. After a couple cutaway scenes in which Liz envisions herself buying Star Wars memorabilia, Frank ordering call girls, and Cerie going shopping with the show's credit card -- she realizes that something doesn't add up. There's too much money going to something called "Don't Worry About It." Jack assigns Liz to find out where all of the money is going.

After the rest of the characters find out about the theft, Jenna talks to Tracey and realizes they have to try and help Liz or else they'll lost their jobs. They start a "high court" and it becomes a witch hunt. Everyone is terrified of them! Kenneth finally puts a stop to the madness with an emotional monologue, during which he lets it slip that he was the one writing the expense reports. He was really paying for all of the things that everyone asks him to get him (cue flashback of Kenneth doing his job). Everyone feels horrible and gives $10 each, and everything is good again in the studio.

You're welcome, Tina Fey (call us!).

[Mtanzer]