Analyzing Prince William and Kate Middleton's Wedding Invitation

By Rosie Gray Sun., Feb. 20 2011 at 11:39 AM

Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding invite has arrived! Are you one of the lucky 1,900 to receive one? Are you this girl? If so, time to give up sweetie, it's all over. Forthwith, an analysis of the Most Important Royal Wedding Invitation of Our Time.

Here it is!!!!

Wording

"The Lord Chamberlain is commanded by the Queen to invite..." -- oh, the British. I can picture the Queen now, proclaiming to the Lord Chamberlain, "I command you to invite Rosie Gray to the Most Important Royal Wedding of Our Time."

Titles

"His Royal Highness Prince William of Wales, K.G." vs. "Miss Catherine Middleton." Ouch. Kate, you'll be a princess soon enough.

Location

Westminster Abbey is hard to beat.

Dress Code

"Uniform, Morning Coat or Lounge Suit." Not...a lot of options. Uniform, okay, that's easy if you have one. You can usually get old army getups at the Salvation Army. Morning coats look like this -- they're those long tailcoat things. And lounge suits! I pictured a track suit although that isn't right. Basically "lounge suit" is a stuffy British way of saying "suit." If that's what you lounge in, what do you wear to work?

What are women supposed to wear, also? That goes curiously unmentioned. Not all the ladies can show up rocking pantsuits.

Time

The wedding is on Friday, April 29 at 11 a.m. For Americans on the East Coast, that means we'll have to get up at the unfortunate hour of 6 a.m. to watch the wedding. Anything is worth it for the Most Important Royal Wedding of Our Time.

The invitation leaves us with more questions than answers. Kate's dress! How will they cover up Wills' thinning hair on television! Who gets an invite to the exclusive 600-person after-dinner at Buckingham Palace! Let's stay blissfully hysterical about this wedding for months.

[rgray@villagevoice.com] [@_rosiegray]

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Elorisloriwilliamspresley

I'm excited for the Royal Boy and the Royal girl...William and Catherine.I received my invitation. T - HANK you very much.I can't wait!CONGRATULATIONS TO WILL AND KATE!

Ashinkgraphix

Gas price go in tru the roof, people loosing there homes our young military dying, and do they care! No they don't for them is all about money and fame. For me, you don't get a penny from me or my family.

Mary

Love it! It’s like the 2011 Willy Wonka golden ticket…

MorningQuickie

Am I the only one that finds the prospect of an invite terrifying? http://morningquickie.com/2011...

Megan aka Peggy

There are lots of crowns lying around in The Tower of London. Nobody's used them in ages. Maybe William could borrow one to address the thinning hair issue.

Pedro

Surname is Windsor. It was changed from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to Windsor by George V (Michael Gambon) not because Windsor was catchier but because of anti-German feeling among the Brits at that time (WW1).

johnny C

Hey, here's a question that I refuse to search the internet for an answer to:What the fuck is Prince William and Harry's last name? Do they even have one?

Rosie Gray

Windsor, I'm pretty sure.

johnny C

Thanks Rosie (really enjoy your writing). But am right: is it not weird how you you NEVER hear their last name. I guess it's weird like being a prince is pretty odd.

Rosie Gray

Off topic but interesting: the Windsor name was adopted in 1917. Before that, they didn't even have a surname! http://www.royal.gov.uk/thecur...