Your Facebook Friends Hate You
Being on Facebook can be an exercise in self-punishment, whether that means obsessively spying on your friends' baby pictures and envying their "perfect life" or constantly monitoring your ex's wall. We all know this, and yet no one really talks about it. Until now. There's a survey that has determined that if you're a woman, you probably kind of hate your Facebook friends. Perhaps because they write things like this.
Your best bet, honey, is to keep that to yourself.
Not all are guilty, of course. Some Facebook friends are quite nice! But others commit a variety of sins, including talking too much about their wonderful children or amazing husband/boyfriend/apartment/shoes, complaining about their minor everyday annoyances that are really no big deal and it's not like we even care, or talking politics all the time, as Eversave found when they explored the Facebook relationships of 400 women. 83 percent of women were annoyed "at one time or another" by the posts of their Facebook friends. Status update: I'm making a sandwich!!!
The respondents also said at least one of their Facebook friends tended to:
* Share too many mundane updates too often (65 percent)
* "Like" too many posts (46 percent)
* Inappropriately or too frequently use Facebook to promote causes (40 percent)
* Project false information or images of a perfect life (40 percent)
But what this study doesn't get into is something we've seen ourselves, which is that tiny twinge of joy that comes from seeing a friend post something stupid or annoying or far more boring than anything we would ever write. I mean, if they're bragging on Facebook, they hardly have real lives. It's Facebook schadenfreude, if you will. Learn to love it, as it makes being on Facebook infinitely more tolerable.
Dear Facebook friends: I am not talking about any of you.