USC 'Roof Sex' Perpetrator Suspended From His Fine, Upstanding Fraternity

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Did you hear about the USC college students caught having sex on the rooftop of Waite Phillips Hall, a venerable university building? Someone stayed around to take photos (a lot of photos) amid all the shock and horror and how dare they?! On the roof of a building, in front of God and everyone?! But chastise no more because the young man doing these vile things has been punished. He has been suspended from his fraternity, Kappa Sigma, reports the Daily News, and the school might punish him, too, not least because access to rooftops is unauthorized. Which means, he is now the stuff of legend.

"While the actions that were taken did involve a member of our chapter we, in no way, support this kind of behavior," Zach Timm, president of USC's Kappa Sigma, said in a statement.

"The member in question has been suspended from Kappa Sigma for conduct unbecoming of a Kappa Sigma and a gentleman until a more detailed investigation can be conducted."

Earlier this month, an upstanding young gentleman from Kappa Sigma sent a memo equating women to "targets," and their vaginas to "pie." These are metaphors, which are things men learn about in college. A selection from said memo:

I have come to write this memo to you today to educate on the only life worth living, that of a Cocksman. A Cocksman is taught to live by the two most applicable principles I know: The Pie and the Gullet. You may already be lost in trying to comprehend this logic. Do not worry this is completely understandable. By the end of this memo, you will not only gain a greater understanding of what it means to live, but you will have embraced a lifestyle. However, in order for this to happen you first must know a couple key terms.

Note: I will refer to females as "targets". They aren't actual people like us men. Consequently, giving them a certain name or distinction is pointless.

Kappa Sigma seems awesome!

As for the young lady, well, she didn't even go to USC, but we're sure someone is yelling at her to keep her pants on somewhere. Anyway, this would never, ever happen in New York City, mostly because the weather is too damn cold. Will winter never end? Naked on a rooftop, brrrrr!

USC Sex Photo Scandal Erupts After Kappa Sigma Member Captured Having Sex on Campus Building Rooftop (Photos) [LA Weekly]
Kappa Sigma suspends University of Southern California student over sex photos on campus roof [NYDN]


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6 comments
village
village

Aww poor little boys. So afraid of women.

Angela Garcia as NeonMosfet
Angela Garcia as NeonMosfet

Funny, in my day sororities were called "sophmorities", and as such were avoided like the plagiarists they were. www. blogs.laweekly.com/stylecounci...

I put forth the theory that Republicans turn to porn, not because they are desperate for fuck, even the most vicarious of sleeze, but rather, they lack the capacity for abstract thought.

These were the daughters of Phyllis Schlaffley, sex-typed as stated in the above link. They came from the traditional sort of homes, that believed, tha,t if women had IQs in excess of the double digits, that they were lesbians. The supreme irony? These are the women who believe that other women exist to be buffers to be thrown to Kappa Sigma, so they can get their skanky asses to the altar in one piece. kinder kirky kooky. Gosh. Fish and Karma on a Rooftop. &^@

Angela Garcia as NeonMosfet

Large Marge
Large Marge

To shave a perfect square: Get one of those squarish juice glasses, plop in on the happy place, spray on the shaving cream, and flick that Bic. Not that I've ever done this.

Monitoruser
Monitoruser

I clicked on the pics link (don't act like you didn't too.) How did she shave her bush into a perfect square?

NoNameNancy
NoNameNancy

Women are "targets"?? I love it when they talk all rapey like.

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