Barack Obama's Birth Certificate: Here It Is! But Something About It Looks Fishy...

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Kenya, East Africa?! It says so right there on the paper... (Haha, just kidding.) That's the birthplace of Obama's father, who shares the name Barack Hussein Obama, but was not birthed on August 4, 1961. Our president was born in Honolulu, Hawaii. Shut up, birther idiots. Shut up, Donald Trump. As if this is going to do anything to quiet a conspiracy theory that's nothing more than thinly veiled racism, the White House has released a copy of President Barack Obama's "long form" birth certificate from Hawaii, which required a special request from the most powerful man in the world. The state eventually made an "exception" and now we have a Hawaiian birth certificate to add to the Hawaiian certificate of birth we saw during the 2008 campaign.

There will be a press conference to announce this thing. Here's the White House's official word:

The President believed the distraction over his birth certificate wasn't good for the country. It may have been good politics and good TV, but it was bad for the American people and distracting from the many challenges we face as a country. Therefore, the President directed his counsel to review the legal authority for seeking access to the long form certificate and to request on that basis that the Hawaii State Department of Health make an exception to release a copy of his long form birth certificate. They granted that exception in part because of the tremendous volume of requests they had been getting. President Barack Obama's long form birth certificate can be seen here (PDF). Correspondence with the Hawaii State Department of Health can be seen here (PDF).

At a time of great consequence for this country -- when we should be debating how we win the future, reduce our deficit, deal with high gas prices, and bring stability to the Middle East, Washington, D.C., was once again distracted by a fake issue. The President's hope is that with this step, we can move on to debating the bigger issues that matter to the American people and the future of the country.

Jesus fucking Christ.

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