Carnival Workers Mad at Obama; Nation's Political Discourse To Be Taken Off Life Support
A subset of nomadic amusement park workers have issued grievance towards President Obama for remarks he made during yesterday's birth certificate press conference. During the press conference, which was held to disprove a bunch of lunatics, Obama said, "We're not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers." Carnival workers are upset because of his use of the term, "carnival barker." America has turned into a massive malfunctioning tilt-a-whirl, and it's not going to stop no matter how much you vomit.
The Huffington Post spoke to many carnival workers (they find the term "carny" offensive, so we will not be using it) to gauge their reaction to the president's comments. Frank Zaitshik, who owns a carnival company, opined, "I think what Obama said is the same type of stereotype that has been placed on African Americans. You wouldn't expect those comments from someone who is a minority and has faced prejudice."
Mr. Zaitshik understands this prejudice because he was forced to have a press conference to confront people who refuse to believe he's an American due to the fact that he has an uncommon name and dark skin. That was carnival worker Frank Zaitshik who people insisted was born in Kenya, right?
Rob Weber, who runs CarnivalWarehouse.com echoed Mr. Zaitshik's sentiment. "A person who has fought for equal rights may not realize he's hurting a group of people," Weber said. "Maybe carnival people are the last safe stereotype to attack."
It is worth noting that these representatives of the carnival industry have confronted the issue with more eloquence and reserve than popular Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump (who we will call a carny).
Obama's analogy was apt and correct: the birther controversy is a carnival ride. Like a funhouse, at every corner our country turns we are presented with a more distorted and heinous mirror image than the last.