Donald Trump's Letter to The New York Times
Remember when Gail Collins called out Donald Trump for being a totally not viable presidential candidate in her column last week? Did you think The Donald was just going to take that sitting down? No, no, no. This week he responds in the pages of the Times. He really, really hates Gail Collins! Some highlights: 
Donald Trump on Gail Collins
Actually, I have great respect for Ms. Collins in that she has survived so long with so little talent. Her storytelling ability and word usage (coming from me, who has written many bestsellers), is not at a very high level. More importantly, her facts are wrong!
Donald Trump on President Obama's provenance
There is a very large segment of our society who believe that Barack Obama, indeed, was not born in the United States. His grandmother from Kenya stated, on tape, that he was born in Kenya and she was there to watch the birth. His family in Honolulu is fighting over which hospital in Hawaii he was born in-they just don't know.
Donald Trump on President Obama's birth certificate
He has not been able to produce a 'birth certificate' but merely a totally unsigned 'certificate of live birth'-which is totally different and of very little significance. Unlike a birth certificate, a certificate of live birth is very easy to obtain.Donald Trump on birthers, of which he is one
The term used by Ms. Collins-'birther'-is very derogatory and is meant in a derogatory way.[note to Donald Trump: this is because birthers are batshit fucking crazy].
Donald Trump on whether or not Gail Collins should open her eyes
Open your eyes, Gail, there's at least a good chance that Barack Hussein Obama has made mincemeat out of our great and cherished Constitution!
Open your eyes, New York Times! Donald Trump should obviously be a regular columnist, such are the depth and intricacy of his opinions. Pro bono, though. If there's one thing this man/cartoon character doesn't need, it's more money.
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