'Drug Loo' Automates Rectal Drug Removal, Grossly
"It is very much an automated system," a U.S. Customs and Border Patrol official told the Daily News. Apparently more "internal couriers" go to the JFK drug loo than at all of the other ports monitored by Customs combined. That's a lot of drug-littered excrement.
This article didn't really go into detail about how exactly the drug loo functions, but I suppose we can all just imagine it and be okay with that, right? Apparently, once "nature calls," the automated system sanitizes the evidence. This year, 47 suspects have been sent to the drug loo. What if you don't need to go? Do they give you laxatives? Oh, how I wish I'd never clicked on the article about the drug loo!
Interesting tidbit: officers are starting to see older drug mules in their 60s and 70s, it seems.
A 63-year-old grandmother from Nigeria made the trip to the drug loo on Mother's Day and passed 80 pellets of heroin.
Swallowers have been known to carry between 70 and 200 pellets, for a total haul of anywhere from 1 to 4 pounds, Humphrey said.
The thought of a 63-year-old grandma being sent to the drug loo on Mother's Day is so saddening that we should all stop thinking about this story right away. Everyone go outside now.