Lindsay Lohan Joining Scientology? How Could it Hurt?

Categories: Scientology

According to Yahoo's "Xtra Entertainment," the National Enquirer talked to John Travolta, who said he got a promise from train-wreck celebrity Lindsay Lohan that she would begin Scientology training.

[I tried to find the Enquirer piece to give them a link, but couldn't. Have you seen their website? What a nightmare.]

Travolta and Lohan have been cast in the upcoming movie "Gotti: Three Generations," but producers are wary of Lohan's myriad problems and yanked her from a role as John Gotti's daughter to a less important part.

According to Yahoo, Travolta told producers he would take Lohan "under his wing" to keep her on the "straight and narrow." Even though she's been demoted, Travolta said, she had promised him that she would still begin Scientology training.

This simply can't end badly.

We're actually thrilled to hear that the drug-addled moron is going to start learning how to hold soup cans to eliminate the traumas of past lives from her "reactive mind." (Hell, how much worse could her past lives be than her current one?)

But the best thing about Lohan joining Scientology may just be how it indirectly helps her with her substance abuse problems. As a canny commenter at Yahoo pointed out, "at least she won't have enough money to buy drugs...after the Scientology cult takes it all!"

Couldn't have said it better ourselves.

Tony Ortega is the editor-in-chief of The Village Voice. Since 1995, he's been writing about Scientology at several publications. Among his other stories about L. Ron Hubbard's organization:

The Larry Wollersheim Saga -- Scientology Finally Pays For Its Fraud
The Tory Bezazian (Christman) Story -- How the Internet Saved A Scientologist From Herself
The Jason Beghe Defection -- A Scientology Celebrity Goes Rogue
The Robert Cipriano Case -- A Hellacious Example of Fair Game
The Paul Haggis Ultimatum -- The 'Crash' Director Tells Scientology to Shove It
The Marc Headley Escape -- 'Tom Cruise Told Me to Talk to a Bottle'
The Aaron Saxton Accusation -- Australia turns up the heat on Scientology
The Jefferson Hawkins Stipulation -- Scientology's former PR genius comes clean
The Daniel Montalvo Double-Cross -- Scientology lures a young defector into a trap
A Church Myth Debunked -- Scientology and Proposition 8
Daniel Montalvo Strikes Back -- Scientology Hit with Stunning Child-Labor Lawsuits
When Scientologists Attack -- The Marty Rathbun Intimidation
A Scientologist Excommunicated -- The Michael Fairman SP Declaration

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John Cruisolta
John Cruisolta

That is the best $cientology can do? Recruiting drug addicted, waashed up actresses!

WOO - HOO! Well arent they lucky! (sike)

Fake Tommy Davis
Fake Tommy Davis

I don't know what Travolta is thinking! Isn't she broke? What good is she?


Yes Lindsay. Joining a criminal brainwashing cult is very smart. Soon you will be an "Operating Thetan" just like Kirstie Alley and Tom Cruise. You can, for a small fee, purge your body of the space alien ghosts that infest you. You can give them all your secrets during your recorded confessionals. I am sure they won't use the information against you to blackmail you for more "donations". This poor girl just keeps making one mistake after another. Hail Xenu.


In B4 OSA bots:

It is disturbing how scientology plays on people'svulnerability to ensnare them. They call the technique “finding ruin.” They are taught formally, in scientologycourses (called “How to find someones Ruin”) to probe for a person’s weaknessesand turn it against them. Scientologistspresent themselves in other settings as mental health counselors when infact they're not qualified to provide those services. They also teach people to lie.


considering the source, I'm calling bs on this story.

Arno Ominous
Arno Ominous

That's what Scientology does, people: Preying on the vulnerable.

"Here, fill out that free Personality Test."


"Gosh, you suck. But don't worry, we'll gladly take your money... err, care of you."

Also: In before Louanne.


WOOT! Beat the OSA and Lisa's socks again!

The only thing that Scientology can teach people is to have a downright antipathy to telling the truth. The Scientologists who patrol the internet seem to be addicted to lying and acting dishonestly, so I suppose she'll just have one more addiction.

Find some friends who aren't after your fame and fortune, Lindsay, they are out there.

Lisa Lirones
Lisa Lirones

She may be broke, but she is still a celebrity,,still has fans and supporters..remember Travolta tried to do the same thing with his old pal Jeff Conway..who struggled with a drug addiction...Scientology used Jeff as PR,,with Mr Conway Claiming Scientology helped him kick drugs for good.

Jeff later fell of the drug free wagon..and appeared on Celebrity Rehab.

Lindsey is a replacement for Peaches Geldof


Village Voice, Ortega, and the hate-hoot-owls love their greasy lives of drug use, promiscuity, and ridiculing others.Anybody dedicated to bad-mouthing something (like Scientology) that can help people is reliably criminal on one or two fronts. Four members of Anonymous have already been *sentenced* for their crimes against Scientology. Here's an example of Village Voice/Tony Ortega crimes: I know this is a correlation you lot love to mock. But the correlation is there and oh-so-real nonetheless.

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