Men Relax More When Their Wives Are Doing Chores (Seriously)

By Jen Doll Wed., May 18 2011 at 12:57 PM

Today in stereotype-reinforcing studies, we get this: Guess what? The stress levels of married women drop when their husbands help them with chores. But married men relax most when their wives are busy doing things besides relaxing. Hm! And we wonder why women seem to be less interested in getting hitched these days. This particular study measured the stress hormones, or cortisol, of 30 dual-earning, middle-aged L.A. couples, each whom had at least one kid between the ages of 8 and 10.

The results:

For both sexes, doing more housework kept cortisol levels higher at the end of the day. But for women, healthier cortisol levels resulted when their husbands spent more time pitching in on housework. For husbands, more leisure time was linked with healthier cortisol when their wives spent more time doing house-related work and less time in leisure.

Related: Men tend to come home from work, retire to a room alone, and relax. Women tend to come home and take care of the kids, or, when alone, do housework (all the while, one can surmise, dealing with increased stress levels of their own as they think about their husband in the other room chilling and watching TV). For your next study, dear scientists: Please investigate the increase in men's stress levels after their wives start yelling at them about how they've just sat on their ass all night while being cooked for and cleaned up after. (Dudes, if this is you, help out a little, huh?)

Statistically, married women tend to do the lions' share of the housework, "twice as much housework as husbands," in fact. It will be interesting to see whether this continues with the up-and-coming new generation of couples, who may not be as accepting of traditional divisions of "labor" -- and who may not even get married in the first place, content to do their own housework, and relaxing, if and when they want to, without the stress-influence of another.

Men relax best when wives are busy [USA Today]

We Recommend

Snowden

Love to know which study this was- could you please cite the source? As the author of Stress Express: 15 Instant Stress Relievers, I am always trying to learn more.

bl1y

There's so much stuff that never gets factored into the "who does more housework?" studies that makes them almost useless. For instance, men are more likely to have manual labor jobs. Take the couple on King of Queens. He's a delivery guy, she's a legal secretary. He has to run back and forth from the truck about 1000 times a day, she spends most of her time harassing junior associates and shopping on line (if she's like most legal secretaries I've known). It's hardly fair to then expect him to come home and do more manual labor when the most physical work the wife has done is stand in front of the copier.

Then there's issues over how to measure work done at home. Does an hour spent cooking dinner (indoors, with the AC and TV on, and with 75% of the time spent watching things cook) count the same as an hour spent mowing the lawn out under the hot sun? How does doing the dishes compare to changing the car's oil? Folding the laundry while watching the soaps versus cleaning out the gutters?

And, then there's how to weigh different thresholds for mess. If measuring mess on a scale of 1-10, some people will feel the immediate need to clean as soon as something hits 2, others won't even think there's an issue until level 5, and no urgent need until 9 or guests are invited over. If one member of the couple has a much higher preference for having everything clean all the time, they should do more of the cleaning. And, in my experience, it's usually women who insist on making everything nice and neat for the highly judgmental guests she imagines being in her home all the time.

Not to mention people who get things for the sole purpose of having another chore to do. Know anyone who keeps decorative items on their kitchen table or kitchen island, which then have to be removed for every meal and put back afterward? Sorry, but you don't get any credit for busy work you created for yourself.

Someone

If you clean the gutters twice a year, the proceeds to be too tired for the rest of the year, or if changing the oil three months ago renders you unable of doing the dishes today, I strongly advise you to go see a doctor.

Also, if you are unaware of the health issues of unclean dishes, or the social issues of unwashed clothes, you may have a few problems.

bl1y

When I do the laundry, do I get credit for the full 90 minutes the machines are working, or just the 1 minute of actual work I do?

Someone

Well, that depends. How much credit does your wife get? Does she gets to sit down and rest, or is she too busy washing the dishes, making launch, making dinner, washing the dishes again, folding the previous load of laundry, picking up you're dirty clothes to put in the next load, and making you coffee all while you sit down watching TV for 90 minuets waiting for the laundry? Or three months waiting for the car to need a oil change?