The Top Five Worst Baby Names in Recent History

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As humans who generally don't name ourselves, we're all prone to wanting another name at some point or another. Sometimes we reject what our parents decided to call us in favor of something better, more likable, or often, more popular. For example, names like Kate or Nicole or Natalie, anything more mundane and easily spelled, could be coveted. (My name rhymes with "slavery.") But it could be worse: a fruit, a last name, or any location.

1. "Like"

Can't say we didn't see it coming. Sooner or later, someone was bound to give their child a Facebook-affiliated name, and here it is. A couple in Israel have deemed their newborn daughter "Like" after being inspired by the age of social media. At least it's easy to spell?

2. "Brooklyn"

As Jen Doll pointed out earlier this week, it's now the 34th most popular name for girls nationwide, and the sixth most popular in places like Utah, South Dakota, and North Dakota.

3. "Bear Blu"

Not making this one up, folks. Celeb-turned-vegan-turned-wait-what-does-she-do-now Alicia Silverstone named her son after... well, we're not quite sure, earlier this month. "Bear Blu" sounds like the name you give your stuffed teddy bear from grandma when you're three years old. But imagine it on a college application.

4. "Meredith"

There's been a wave of androgynous names sweeping the country, but it's never okay to burden your son or daughter with something that's going to get them beat up in the locker room. Take "Meredith," for instance. Meredith is new son of Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox. Hopefully his middle name is something a little less Grey's Anatomy.

5. "Moroccan"

So Mariah Carey's newborn boy got the shitty end of the stick, because his twin sister's name is Monroe and, let's face it, that's hot. But "Moroccan"? "Moroccan" is one of those names that's deemed to doom for several reasons: 1) It doesn't yield a logical nickname; 2) It reminds people of restaurants where you can eat with your hands; and 3) Moroccan will take Cannon's last name. Say that three times fast and you can call it a day.

[atimm@villagevoice.com / @avenyc]


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