David Miscavige, Scientology's Leader, Wants You to Salute His Beagles

SnoopySalutes.jpg
Yesterday, we published a review of Janet Reitman's stunning new history, Inside Scientology, which will hit bookshelves soon.

In our general review, we couldn't get into much detail. But we had to pull out a wonderful nugget from the book this morning that struck us as particularly illuminating of Scientology's Ultimate Leader, the diminutive David Miscavige.

Wanting to convey what it was like to work for the dictatorial Miscavige at Scientology's secretive desert headquarters in Southern California, Reitman described what it was like to be summoned to see "COB*":

Virtually every meeting with Miscavige involved an element of fear: the initial summons required that those called to it drop whatever they were doing and sprint to the assignation place; there they would wait until the leader, who'd often be playing Nintendo in his private lounge, decided to show up.

He would arrive flanked by his wife and Lou Stuckenbrock, a retinue of aides, and, often, his beagles. He had five dogs, two of which, Jelly and Safi, wore tiny blue sweaters with commander's bars. Miscavige was known to make his staffers salute the dogs, who held ranks higher than those of many people on the base.

Believe us when we say there are many, many more surprising and fascinating anecdotes like this sprinkled throughout Reitman's excellent book.

* Miscavige gave himself the title "Chairman of the Board" of one of Scientology's many arcane legal entities. Scientologists often then refer to him as "COB" as well as "DM."


tortega@villagevoice.com | @VoiceTonyO

Tony Ortega is the editor-in-chief of The Village Voice. Since 1995, he's been writing about Scientology at several publications. Among his other stories about L. Ron Hubbard's organization:

The Larry Wollersheim Saga -- Scientology Finally Pays For Its Fraud
The Tory Bezazian (Christman) Story -- How the Internet Saved A Scientologist From Herself
The Jason Beghe Defection -- A Scientology Celebrity Goes Rogue
The Robert Cipriano Case -- A Hellacious Example of Fair Game
The Paul Haggis Ultimatum -- The 'Crash' Director Tells Scientology to Shove It
The Marc Headley Escape -- 'Tom Cruise Told Me to Talk to a Bottle'
The Aaron Saxton Accusation -- Australia turns up the heat on Scientology
The Jefferson Hawkins Stipulation -- Scientology's former PR genius comes clean
The Daniel Montalvo Double-Cross -- Scientology lures a young defector into a trap
A Church Myth Debunked -- Scientology and Proposition 8
Daniel Montalvo Strikes Back -- Scientology Hit with Stunning Child-Labor Lawsuits
When Scientologists Attack -- The Marty Rathbun Intimidation
A Scientologist Excommunicated -- The Michael Fairman SP Declaration
The Richard Leiby Operation -- Investigating a reporter's divorce to shut him up
The Hugh Urban Investigation -- An academic takes a harsh look at Scientology's past
Giovanni Ribisi as David Koresh -- A precedent for a Scientology-Branch Davidian link


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37 comments
Max Champion
Max Champion

Apparently outside the Sydney court today where CCHR International President Jan Eastgate was appearing on charges of perverting the course of justice (coaching a child to deny she was sexually molested), about a dozen scientologists went psycho and attacked a journalist and cameraman.

Deanblair06
Deanblair06

I am getting the book.  I have read all of the earlier ones written by ex Scientologists as well as some written by others.  I am looking forward to reading it and then passing it on to others who need to know.

Sallyj
Sallyj

Here's another fun anecdote.  Paranoia is practically a fashion requirement in the Sea Org, heighted as you get to the top.  This actually came from Hubbard's regime with his short skirted Messenger girlies, and then Miscavige, who wanted to be just like Hubbard when he grew up.  The cloak and dagger regime included one magical Phone Booth (you kids will have to look it up).   One messenger would wait for 2 rings ... and then follow protocol. Only a few of Hubbard's staff were allowed to be a Phone Booth messenger. 

Well, all that's missing from this scenario is changing into a Superman costume.  Here's the Pivotal Point in how Miscavige took over command:"Now genuinely afraid of Miscavige, Irwin slipped off the base at Gilman Hot Springs to call Pat Broeker, using his special callback system. Waiting at a gas-station pay phone for Broeker to return her call, Irwin suddenly saw Miscavige roll up with a number of his aides in a black van. As she'd later recall, he got out, walked to the back of the van, took out a tire iron, and as she watched, proceeded to smash the pay phone so it wouldn't work. Then he grabbed a terrified Irwin, ordered her into the van, and accused her of mutiny. "Now genuinely afraid of Miscavige, Irwin slipped off the base at Gilman Hot Springs to call Pat Broeker, using his special callback system. Waiting at a gas-station pay phone for Broeker to return her call, Irwin suddenly saw Miscavige roll up with a number of his aides in a black van. As she'd later recall, he got out, walked to the back of the van, took out a tire iron, and as she watched, proceeded to smash the pay phone so it wouldn't work. Then he grabbed a terrified Irwin, ordered her into the van, and accused her of mutiny.

MarkStark
MarkStark

"Jelly and Safi are the ecclesiastical commander dogs of the ecclesiastical leader of the Church of Sciloontology," Tommy Davis will explain.

"It is considered a sacred act to scoop their poop and an honor a Sea Org member works toward through several lifetimes." 

CofS Exit Zone
CofS Exit Zone

Oddly enough, it appears Miscavige was NOT the original creator of this practice with doggy dress up. It came from source - I cam across an old "The Auditor" magazine from the 1960s that was a Christmas issue, and included season greetings from the Hubbard family with Ron's small dog outfitted like a sea org member and a sign around his neck proclaiming it was an officer of a standard post.

Epac
Epac

I'm all for dissing scientology, but LEAVE SNOOPY OUT OF IT!!!!

Lisa Lirones
Lisa Lirones

maybe Louanne can grace us with her presence today and give us her personal antidote on what it was like to "salutes Miscavige's poochs"

it was Miscavige who gave Louanne a golf cart...because he thought she had deep vein thrombosis...and might kick the bucket Like Lisa McPherson... if Louanne was made to walk everywhere...

Louanne did you walk his dogs?... give us the skinny

why do his Beagles eat better kibble than members of the Sea Org?enquiring  minds want to know

ScientoloGee
ScientoloGee

I have heard this time and time again from so many insiders. I am SO looking forward to reading this book! And where are all of the Sea Ogres today, posting defensive BS comments? Maybe they are not posting because they have seen this with their own 2 eyes? Actually, they would still defend that midget maniac probably. 

Gary Lee-Nova
Gary Lee-Nova

Documentation (links to a reputable source) or GTFO. Moonbat/psychopathic scientologists are always nice to be informed about but documentation is essential. 

Please? Pretty please?

Sallyj
Sallyj

I've heard the hardcopy book will be shipped out today, but you can gett Kindle version (I just have Kindle App for PC)  as of yesterday from Amazon.  You just have to click on "other formats" and you'll see the version available June 13.

Mark Miglio
Mark Miglio

What a bunch of crap. Is someone paying you to write this stuff?

Doglover
Doglover

That Hubbard Christmas pic sounds kind of cute -- very different from David Miscavige  making people salute the dog as though they were beneath it.  Differences!!

sizzle8
sizzle8

Would love to see the picture.  Which issue?  Is there a link?

Doglover
Doglover

Snoopy is here to liberate the beagles!!

Mark Miglio
Mark Miglio

Dear A.B. --have you really gotten to the point where you knock people because of the size of their body? Surely you can't really be that bad off.You haven't done your homework -- reading Tony O. is an exercise in comedy, not journalism. To call David M. a midget is silly, stupid. To call D.M. a maniacal midget is super stupid.If you keep continue to read spin journalism and black propaganda you will become a slave to the people who use the media to push their secret agenda.

Max Champion
Max Champion

There's video footage.

I suggest that you await Channel 7's Today Tonight - it will be shown this evening (should be online within about 3-5 hours). :)

Gary Lee-Nova
Gary Lee-Nova

One cult Public Relations disaster after another, piling up like a massive & endless train wreck.

Are you & the cult having fun, yet, Mark? 

2011 is a shit blizzard for you, isn't it? It won't end, Mark. The catastrophes are going to continue and increase in intensity.

Will you use your super OTVIII powers to shatter all the suppression?

Here's a protip from cult The Boss:

"BTs can get Mis-Us from reading matter, foreign languages, and I have found BTs that don't speak English. There is also a basic consideration that the Dead would not understand anything anyway." - L. Ron Hubbard, "BTs with Misunderstood Words," HCO Bulletin of 22 February 1979, NOTs Series 46.

guest
guest

shut up and salute the pooch MARK MIGLIO...before Miscavige hands out another beat down

Guest
Guest

 We know that no one is really paying you that much to write your crap, Terryeo.

CofS Exit Zone
CofS Exit Zone

buried in a leak of 20yrs worth of The Auditor mags... I'll have to dig it out

Old OT7
Old OT7

"If the size 3 shoe fits..."  LOL!!!   That made  my day!

@b888d5980541f01505e305c0d255a7ad:disqus

Do you not understand, or are not allowed to acknowledge the overly toxic reputation your cult has?  Outside of Jonestown, your cult is by far THE most destructive  group I'm aware of.  Ok, ok, North Korea may be just slightly worse.

Gary Lee-Nova
Gary Lee-Nova

Ooooooh, scary monsters!!! And secret agendas!!!

The merchants of chaos are gonna get us all if we read anything other than the gibberish published by LRH!!! Run for your lives!!!

DM, whose IQ is about the square root of his shoe size (about 3 as candace6 brings to our attention) is way worse than super stupid. But I never see him as a midget, or a maniacal midget.

Every day, I see him succumbing to spontaneous human combustion, rolling around on the floor, frantically trying to beat out the flames with his little midget fists, and failing miserably or failing gloriously, depending on how you want to look at it. I prefer the former to the latter, but I could be swayed. And you?

candace6
candace6

If the size 3 shoe fits.....

Guest
Guest

 Hi Terryeo, why did you get banned from Wikipedia again?

Mark Miglio
Mark Miglio

Thank you for looking out for me, Lisa, but really I don't need your help in that way. It is you I am afraid of. What a sharp bite you have.  Let's be friends. And...In order to do that... we are good to have a lot of good communication. What do you say?

Mark Miglio
Mark Miglio

Thank you for looking out for me, Lisa, but really I don't need your help in that way. It is you I am afraid of. What a sharp bite you have.  Let's be friends. And...In order to do that... we are good to have a lot of good communication. What do you say?

Mark Miglio
Mark Miglio

Al ---It is not that simple. I can tell by your attitude that you would not be a good Auditor. In order to become a world class auditor you would have to do lots of dedicated training and you would also have to become hardworking and sincere; and most importantly, you would have to love people, all people, not just the people who agree with you.

Al_Swearengen
Al_Swearengen

OT7, I've got a couple of broomhandles connected to wires I'll let you hold for $1,000/hour.  Cheaper than "SCN"...

Mark Miglio
Mark Miglio

I am so tired of your communications, old OT 7 ----Just admit that you made a mistake. You never should have joined SCN, or at least you should have left right away. I, or some of the people I know, will help you, though, in you ever want to handle your misconceptions.

Mark Miglio
Mark Miglio

Gary ---We live in a world where new things are discovered every day ---and also, the universe is a very big place. I would not be surprised that someone (some being), somewhere (some planet) has discovered that atomic fission can take place (and probably does) without using uranium.

Gary Lee-Nova
Gary Lee-Nova

If you say so Mark. I find that the passage below is particularly lulzy....

"We, by the way, have generated atomic fission without the use of uranium. This is not a difficult thing to do. All you do is synthesize a gamma ray and synthesize some other rays and by concentrating them, you can get an atomic explosion."

- LRH, "Radiation", lecture of 5 November 1956.

Mark Miglio
Mark Miglio

Al ---It is not that simple. I can tell by your attitude that you would not be a good Auditor. In order to become a world class auditor you would have to do lots of dedicated training and you would also have to become hardworking and sincere; and most importantly, you would have to love people, all people, not just the people who agree with you.

Mark Miglio
Mark Miglio

Hey, the lectures regarding the dangers and the handling of the effects of nuclear radiation are pure gold, Gary. Also, apparently, you don't understand the importance of confessionals (sec checking) do you? Honest, sincere confessionals are good for the soul. Your relationships with others will improve if you confess your wrongdoings. (But you have to do it in the right way.) Hubbard Confessional Technology details the various ways to do confessionals that really work.

Gary Lee-Nova
Gary Lee-Nova

Al_Swearengen nails it solid with his statement about laughing our asses off."Thrive" as in laughing a whole lot at the bogus "church" of $cientology as it implodes, collapses and self-destructs like a massive train wreck in slow motion.

Yes, I do "thrive" on reading Tony's blog articles about the cascades of public relations catastrophes landing on the cult of $cientology (and DM) this year, one after the other, like a nightmare that has no awakening.

However, when my tastes turn to "crap" I'm inclined to listen to some of the ACC lectures by LRH. His lectures on "radiation" are the ones I find particularly crappy, but the ones about "sec checking types of missed witholds" really crack me up the most. That stuff is gold-plated crap, Mark.

It's for the lulz, Mark.

All the best with your stats day tomorrow.

Al_Swearengen
Al_Swearengen

By "thrive" you mean laughing our asses off.

Mark Miglio
Mark Miglio

Come on now, Gary, I know you thrive on tales of Monsters and Secret Agendas or you wouldn't be reading the crap put out by Tony O. 

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