North Korea Is Second Happiest Nation, According to North Korea

According to a ranking done by Kim Jong-il's completely unbiased television station, the best place in the world to hang with happy people is...China! But why would you move there when the second happiest place in the world is North Korea? They're both pretty damn happy. China got a 100 out of 100 for "quality of life and happy residents" (attacks on schoolchildren notwithstanding -- that was last year!) while North Korea ranked in the 98th percentile. Cuba, Iran, and Venezuela rounded out the top five. Are you detecting a theme here?

The U.S., however, is like the worst place, coming in dead last at 203rd, to live -- sad, gloomy, depressing, and generally horrible, with high gas prices! This is largely because, based on our quality of life, we're allowed to wallow in our own mud! At the end of the day, happiness is just a matter of putting your mind to it, isn't it? That's why some countries have to legislate it, for the betterment of their citizens.

Hey, we all just want to be happy. Be fucking happy! Now.

[Daily Mail]