Rightbloggers Not Really Enjoying This New York Gay Marriage Thing

tomt200.jpgGay marriage has been passed in the New York state legislature, and Governor Andrew Cuomo's signature will make the Empire State the sixth state to allow same-sex couples to wed.

You can imagine how rightbloggers feel about this. A few say they don't mind, but the majority fulsomely display one or more of the classic stages of grief -- with "anger" being by far the most popular.

We really shouldn't rub it in, but how often do we get the chance? Let's listen to some of their growls, hisses, and spits:

With the assembly long on board, the state senate had been the gay marriage stumbling block; but, with the help of business supporters and carefully crafted religious exemptions, Governor Andrew Cuomo and supporters finally got four Republicans to join 29 Democrats and pass the marriage equality bill 33-29.

That was Friday night. Several of the top rightbloggers have been quiet on the subject. Perhaps they plan stemwinders for later in the week, or are still trying to get their wind back, or feel that discretion is the better part of valor. (Shame we can leave out of our considerations.)

At this writing, Michelle Malkin hasn't spoken to the subject. Nor has Power Line. Andrew Breitbart's Big Government has only a few links to outside stories like "New Jersey's Christie 'Not a Fan' of Gay Marriage, Won't Follow New York," though Breitbart's Big Hollywood copped a Hollywood Reporter story about all the awful Hollywood liberals who supported the bill ("'Marriage equality.... vote yes,' added Alec Baldwin").

RedState has only a short, gloomy pre-vote plea that "people of good conscience, supporters and opponents both, should at least be given the opportunity to consider the possible consequences" of the law, for which the poster was threatened by management ("you're using our site as nothing more than a billboard"). NewsBusters reports, "New York Sportswriter Attacked Black NFL Star as Brainless for Opposing Gay Marriage."

Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit mainly agitated for what he portrayed as the next civil rights battleground, universal gun suffrage.

The lesser brethren were less restrained.

Shame on you, despoiler of families!
The Last Tradition just let all the stops out. "Fag marriage legal in New York State," he cried. "It's a happy day for rump wranglers and cock suckers of every shape and color." (Hear, hear!) "This is an extremely sad day in the history of New York which has become the new Sodom and Gomorrah." (TLT seems a little late to that party. Don't they have cable where he lives?)

HolyCoast was deeply wounded by New York's unnecessary display of civil liberties. "There are several states within a relatively short drive of New York that allow gay marriage," they sulked, "so it's not like they had to pass the law to protect anyone's 'rights.'" Well, you know New Yorkers -- so pushy.

Red Meat Conservative reacted in the rhetorical manner of Slip Mahoney of the Bowery Boys: "It is truly a tragic day when such radical imprecations to our country's moral founding are propagated by the supposed moral party." Leave us regurgitate!

Catholic blogger Rocco Palmo of Whispers in the Loggia shrugged and made homeopathy out of homosexuality: "Despite the loss, however," he wrote, "it was a notable sign of the church's clout in the debate leading up to the final vote that two of the three senators who rose to explain their support for the bill cited their own Catholic roots as a key point of tension in their respective paths toward approving the move." Words fail us.

Mark Noonan of Blogs for Victory cited Constitutional precedent: "Human rights are individual rights," Noonan expostulated. "You can only have a right to something which you can - at least in theory - do entirely on your own... But as soon as a second human being is brought in to the picture, we are no longer dealing with rights, but with privileges to be assigned by one means or another."

Well, so much for the right to peaceably assemble. (Maybe it's a gay thing?) In case his scholarly disquisition was unconvincing, Noonan added some ooga-booga: "When you propose to alter marriage you are proposing to alter family -- and thus you are tinkering with the basis of our civilization... this is serious business; the life of our civilization is hanging by a thread... we're not more than a few steps away from dissolution and death." Thank God we're on the verge to civilizational death at last -- the suspense has been killing us!

Perhaps our favorite headline is John Guardiano's at the American Spectator: "Why Gay 'Marriage Equality' Is Bad for America and Hurts Children." As the title suggests, Guardiano went scare-quote-happy. In his lede, he referred to "last night's 'historic" vote for 'gay marriage' in New York." (These so-called "married" gays and their so-called "history"!)

Upset that Jeffrey Goldberg, a "'progressive,'" had mocked conservative terror that gay marriage would destroy straight marriage, Guardiano sputtered, "Goldberg's marriage isn't under threat, but the institution of marriage is -- so much so that marriage rates in America have plummeted and out-of-wedlock births have skyrocketed." Also up was fatherlessness, which Guardiano asserted (following a reliable rightwing schtick) causes poverty.

Eventually Guardiano addressed the question normal people would have been asking throughout: "But what does this have to do with gay 'marriage'?"

"Everything," he answered. "Sure, this breakdown in the family has occurred independent of the push for 'marriage equality.' But it is still part and parcel of an overarching effort to undermine and deprecate traditional marriage and the traditional family."

Once upon a time, when men wore hats and opened doors for ladies, the "principal purpose" of marriage was "the care and raising of children," explained Guardiano. But now, thanks to "misplaced notions of 'equality' and 'rights,'" marriage is "mainly about personal self-fulfillment," which has led to the horrors of baby-daddies and "family 'assistance,'" because "when our new and more modern 'families' fail, the state must intervene."

To recap: When people began marrying for love instead of by parental arrangement, that was the thin end of the wedge; now, as if that noxious innovation hadn't done enough harm, the demons who visited it upon us invite same-sex couples to join the pandemonium. Soon, when America is filled with ruined "married" people, we will regret the day impoverished farmers stopped trading daughters for cows.

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