Apple Store Will Let You...Order a Pizza, Dress Like Darth Vader, Have a Date, Have a Goat
In this clip, Malkoff orders a pizza and has it delivered to the Apple Store. No one minds; in fact, they think it's awesome. He also goes on a date (employees draw the line at dimming the lights for romance), arrives dressed as Darth Vader for help with a broken iPhone, admits to once having had a hotmail account, and brings along his pet goat. He is not kicked out. He is barely even looked at funny.
From this we can draw the following: a) No one notices Mark Malkoff. b) Apple stores are wonderful, magical, giving places. c) Everyone except the goat was stoned. d) Your laptop is a goner. e) The goat was stoned.