Rightbloggers Celebrate 4th of July by Unmasking Jaycees, Firefighters, And Other Traitors

tomt200.jpgHowever you're celebrating the birth of America this Fourth of July weekend, we hope you'll spare a thought for those unfortunates whose enjoyment of our hard-won freedoms is cruelly limited.

We refer not to the indigent or the oppressed, but to rightbloggers whose Independence Day essays show that the blessing for which they are most (not to say exclusively) grateful is the freedom to tell one another what a bunch of traitors their opponents are -- an important liberty, to be sure, but, like the freedom to eat as many Reese's Peanut Butter Cups as one can get down, best exercised in moderation lest nausea result.

Their favorite news hook in this regard came, surprisingly, from the world of academia.

In May a couple of professors -- one from Bocconi University in Italy, one from Harvard's Kennedy School of Government -- reported study results which showed "days without rain on Fourth of July in childhood have lifelong effects. In particular, they shift adult views and behavior in favor of the Republicans and increase later-life political participation." (That is, "the likelihood that an adult at age 40 identifies as a Republican increases by 0.76 percentage points for each rain-free Fourth of July during childhood, where childhood is defined as the ages of 3-18.")

This was digested by big media outlets in headlines like "Harvard: July 4th Parades Are Right-Wing" and "GOP's July 4th Advantage," and seized upon by rightbloggers as proof that liberals hate parades, barbecues, and America.

"More bad news for President Obama's 2012 reelection bid," observed Andrew Malcolm at the L.A. Times. "The left detests all forms of patriotism," said Weasel Zippers, "if you instill a love of America in a child it's extremely unlikely they will identify with the Democratic party when they grow up."

"The notion that conservatives have appropriated notions of American patriotism is questionable," reacted the Washington Times. "A stronger case can be made that the left abandoned patriotism sometime in the 1960s and never came back to it... Conservatives did not 'appropriate' American patriotism; they saw it in the gutter where the left had tossed it, picked it up with reverent hands, and set it standing again." We marvel the Times did not add that conservatives also brushed off the seat of patriotism's pants and gave it a few bucks for a cup of coffee.

"It seems Democrats have a patriotism problem after all," said Ace of Spades. He added "Top Ten Ways Democrats Can Re-'Appropriate' July Fourth" -- including "4. Serve soy chai lattes at July Fourth parades" and "3. A free bong hits booth at every parade," suggesting that Democrats patronize Starbucks and smoke weed, showing their immense distance from ordinary Americans.

unclescam.jpg
Like most 4th of July picnic fare, this goes best with large amounts of beer.
As no such contretemps is complete without a claim from conservatives that they have been unfairly maligned, Dancing from Genesis claimed the report was written "apparently to snipe at the american conservative cause," because the "christian message" of Republicans was "anathema to the bibliophobes on the left who dominate the democrat party."

No citation supporting this claim was offered, but Dancing from Genesis' refutation was interesting nonetheless:

"But why are they bibliophobes, what do they know or not know to make them so?" they said. "Do they realize that the ice age could have been caused by only a warmer ocean heated from below such as by the fountains of the deep injecting heat during Noah's Flood? It's just hydrology 101, yet not admitted by the bibliophobes because that road leads to the Bible, and they can't have that, nor discussion of such in the public schools now under their control."

As Olson Johnson said after Gabby Johnson's peroration in Blazing Saddles: Now who can argue with that?

Red State Report said the study's "conclusion" was that "Democrats do not get into the 4th of July." As added evidence they reproduced a list of things Americans spend money on during the Fourth, and commented -- we assume playfully -- that Democrats don't enjoy fireworks because these "could hurt somebody and cause injuries. This would put undo pressure on the Obamacare system, which could not handle the additional patient load sure to occur from explosive injuries." Maybe their readers will take the hint and organize a squad of suicide cherry-bombers who will immolate or maim themselves in order to expose the deficiencies of health care reform. It could become the new Going Galt.

Power Line said, "Are Republicans more patriotic than Democrats? I think so, in general" and, while questioning the study, told parents who wanted to raise rightwing kids that "if it rains on Monday where you live, don't take any chances. Celebrate the holiday anyway. Set off fireworks in your garage." Maybe they're in on Red State Report's plan! One more citation and it's a trend.

Meanwhile a firefighters' union in Racine, Wisconsin declined to support a Fourth of July float run by a colleague -- which is understandable, as the colleague had earlier quit and disdained the union. "This was just one of those that we're taking a hands-off approach to it," said the local union president. (The union later said it didn't mind if union firefighters wanted to march with the float.)

The float, which has a 9/11 theme, is scheduled to appear in the parade. But many rightbloggers, apparently still angry about the firefighters' solidarity with teachers in Wisconsin earlier this year, claimed the union firemen had tried to remove, or even succeeded in removing, the float from the parade, thereby showing the firefighters' contempt for the Fourth and for the heroes of 9/11.

"Wisconsin Firefighters' Union Tries to Block Parade Float Honoring 9/11 Victims," said Christian Schneider at National Review. "Wisconsin Firefighters Union Reportedly Blocks Ex-Member's 9/11 Tribute Float," reported/decided Fox News.

"A Wisconsin firefighters union has put the kibosh on including a 9/11 float during a July 4th parade," said Robert A. George at the New York Post. "So, rather than show their support for the heroes of 9/11," etc.

"This Independence Day, it's union first, American second," intoned Some Guy at RedState. "On September 11, 2001, 2,977 people were killed by terrorists" -- we understand that on some browsers, this intro included a MIDI file of Toby Keith songs -- "...the terrorists did not care whether those they killed were exclusively American or not, nor did they care whether or not the victims were carrying a union card."

Some Guy, at least, didn't claim the union had tried to remove the float, but he more than made up for this in old-fashioned Have You Forgotten gibberish.

"While the IAFF certainly has the right not to support a float honoring the fallen heroes," Some Guy generously allowed, "it does say a lot about the union's leadership... On September 11, 2001, 2,977 Americans died. Some of them were union members, many others were not. This begs the question: If a non-union firefighter perishes saving others, does it make him any less of a hero?" The sane person's answer to this would be, "Who said it did?" or "What?" but there is no evidence that sane people read RedState.


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38 comments
Franklin
Franklin

Well I lead the Prager 4th celebration at our church for 25+ kids and they seemed to enjoy it.  Mentioned God a couple times during the talk and sang God Bless America at the end.  I am also under no delusion that you understand or appreciate anything I just wrote.

edroso
edroso

"I am also under no delusion that you understand or appreciate anything I just wrote."

Then why'd you bother? But actually, nothing human is foreign to me. I hope y'all had a good time, and that your young charges don't grow up to hate half their fellow countrymen.

Merl Allen
Merl Allen

I was taught that cons don't have revolutions, they like things the way the are. In 1776 they were known as Tories.

Stacey Taylor
Stacey Taylor

And you leftists liked things the way they were under the Soviet Union.

delosgatos
delosgatos

Uh, no. If someone's been telling you that, they've been lying to you. I'm sorry you were fooled by them, but you can rest easy now. You probably should take anything they tell you with a few grains of salt in the future, though - anyone who says that is either deceitful  or misinformed, and in neither case trustworthy.

Brian Schlosser
Brian Schlosser

"I didn’t feel it was my place to state that incredibly obvious fact. I mean ‘impose my subjective opinion.’" -Daria Morgendorfer

Rebecca Stanton
Rebecca Stanton

 "....in 1776, all countries were based on nationality, religion, ethnicity, or geography. But America was created on the basis of a set of ideas. This is still true today."Those ideas being, presumably, slavery and tax evasion.  But more to the point -- geography wasn't a basis for the creation of the U.S.?  It's totally just a coincidence that 48 of the states are contiguous, I guess.

UnholyMoses
UnholyMoses

The most fantastic (and by "fantastic," I mean "abhorrently absurd") thing about wingnuts is how they go on and on and on about how wonderful and fantastic America is, go around vilifying anyone who doesn't act the same way, and yet absolutely REFUSE to do anything to ensure it actually is.

They don't want to spend money fixing roads that are crumbling, or bridges that are falling down, or to educate kids, or create a 21st Century energy grid, or do any of the big things we used to do in this nation. Especially if it involves raising the top marginal rate a whopping 3% ('cause that's JUST LIKE STALIN!).

Instead, they're convinced that if they just say "AMERICA IS THE BESTEST NATION EVAH FUCK YEAH!!" over and over again, it'll just magically be true. There's no intention to work to make sure it actually, and there's certainly no expenditures required for our future needs.

Faith will, apparently, be all it takes.

**sigh**

Sweet love of all that's holy ... how/why the hell did the right become so freaking insane?

Epac
Epac

I hate Teabaggers as much as anyone...but please leave Reese's Peanut Butter Cups out of it.

Genesisveracity
Genesisveracity

What's a Teabagger?

GeoX
GeoX

It's a name idiot right-wingers made up for themselves.  Once they realized what it meant, they backed off from it, but we still use it to mock them.  Because they're idiots.

Genesisveracity
Genesisveracity

No reasons given?  That convinced eh? 

Why do you think low income people would not want the school choice option?

What kind of people don't want a strong alliance with Israel?

What percentage of american citizens would you guess want uncontrolled immigration?

 

Genesisveracity
Genesisveracity

Don't you think at least half of America supports secure immigration, school choice vouchers to help the poor, strong alliance with Israel, and putting a stop to the monetization of our national debt?

ds
ds

you wish it were half

Genesisveracity
Genesisveracity

So you try to tar-and-feather half of America with "tea-bagger" because a few good folks weren't aware that the term deals with unusual sexual behavior?  Typical leftist behavior, and doing no good for your cause. 

J Neo Marvin
J Neo Marvin

"days without rain on Fourth of July in childhood have lifelong effects. In particular, they shift adult views and behavior in favor of the Republicans and increase later-life political participation."

If this were true, California would be a solid red state.

Atticus Dogsbody
Atticus Dogsbody

Set off fireworks in your garage.

Yeah, go on, do that. When those socialist firemen drop by you can castigate them for hating America.

mds
mds

 "many of the most anti-liberty activities of state and local governments are driven by federal funding -- either direct funding, or grants... pro-liberty activists should identify a few and then urge members of Congress to eliminate the funding."

Can we start with funds for Tennessee's public universities?  That would teach those tenured law professors what the free market is all about.

GeoX
GeoX

"As we celebrate Independence Day, here's something to needle your liberal friends with (all in good fun, of course)," suggested HenryPatrick1736: "Tell them that the American 'revolutionaries' were actually conservatives."

Well, if by "needle your friends" you mean "look like a crazy person"...

Consumer Unit 5012
Consumer Unit 5012

Hey what could possibly be more "conservative" than overthrowing the God-granted authority of your rightful king in favor of completely new form of government?

Substance McGravitas
Substance McGravitas

"Apparently, when no one was looking, the Jaycees became a pro-Infanticide group," said Warner Todd Huston at Andrew Breitbart's Big Government.

If it's that kid in the back of the plane I'm all for it.

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ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©

Wow.  Two bucks a bottle for a twelve-packof sugar water?

Methinks Rush is jealous of the follower-fleecing scams pulled off by Glenn Beck and Sister Sarah.~

Glenn
Glenn

Not sugar water - high-fructose corn sweetner!

Kate
Kate

Isn't he paid $30 million a year to spew hatred and lies?  Why on earth does he want more... never mind.  These guys never have enough.

R. Porrofatto
R. Porrofatto

Rush Limbaugh will appear that day at a rally in recently storm-ravaged Joplin, Missouri. "The Fourth of July is a time to celebrate independence instead of dependence," said Limbaugh, "and people in Joplin, Missouri are not at all relying on dependence." NewsMax added that "one of [Limbaugh's] goals is to point out that storm victims in Joplin are not waiting around for government assistance."

This has been a big Beck-hole thing, too. Joplin is Limbaugh territory, so it would come as no surprise that they will accept all the Fed aid they can get, while opposing every dollar of it in principle for someone else. And they'll ride up on their Medicare-subsidized scooters to cash the checks.

From the AP:Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon says the federal government as agreed to pay a greater-than-usual share of the cleanup costs from a deadly tornado that struck Joplin. He says the federal government will cover 90 percent of the expedited debris removal from areas that received extensive damage. That's the same proportion the federal government is paying for deadly tornadoes that hit Alabama last month.Typically, the federal government pays 75 percent of cost of responding to disasters, with state and local governments picking up the rest.

The thank-you notes to Obama are already in the mail, I'm sure.

Matt Jones
Matt Jones

Note to Powerline readers: rain or not, the indoor fireworks display is a great idea. Make sure you've nailed the garage door shut first to keep the Islamofascistcommiegheyz out, and put down a protective layer of oily rags to keep the floor nice. Maybe even invite all of your Tea Party friends over to enjoy the spectacle too!

Consumer Unit 5012
Consumer Unit 5012

I've said before that if Obama wants the Democrats to win the next election, he needs to set National Not Setting Yourself On Fire Day to the Sunday before election day.  Most of the Teapublicans will still be stuck in the burn ward when they should be voting.

Glenn
Glenn

Since the original Boston Tea Party was about boycotting tea, isn't it somewhat backwards for the new Tea Party to promote consumption of tea?

Horatius
Horatius

You and your liberal history and facts and all that liberal shit.

gocart mozart
gocart mozart

Why is Independence day the fourth!?  Shouldn't it be first?  Is it because the politically correct media and left wing acedemia refuse to acknowledge that we are the greatest country in the history of the universe.   I celebrated America three days ago like all true patriots.  Stop P.C. madness now!!! 

commie atheist
commie atheist

"If your state university is 60 percent female -- and many are -- why does it still have a Women's Center that was originally set up to ease the transition when it went coed decades ago?""If your state university is 60 percent female -- and many are -- why does it still have a Women's Center that was originally set up to ease the transition when it went coed decades ago?"

Likewise, what's the deal with all these Black Studies departments?  Abe Lincoln freed the slaves in Eighteen Sixty Something, so get over it, already.

Not so lucky were guests of Dennis Prager, who planned for them a "Fourth of July Seder" dedicated to the proposition that "national memory dies without national ritual." At this event, "the young people (generally ages seven and older)" will be obliged to answer questions...

Apparently Prager wants to extend the Festivus tradition to the Fourth.  Let the Airing of Grievances begin.

DocAmazing
DocAmazing

I like the idea of a July 4th Seder:

"Why do we smoke these bitter herbs?""To remind us of the bitterness that caused George Washington to separate the male hemp plants from the female ones."

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