Scientology Loves Making Fun of Itself, Apparently

Last week, we posted a Scientology video made by some humble folks at the church's Phoenix "org" who were asking their fellow Scientologists for help raising money to build a new facility.

It was hard not to chuckle at the faux excitement put on by the Scientologists, who were just trying their best to pry money out of other followers.

It was one thing for those of us outside Scientology to laugh at their efforts. But how about a 15 minute video of Scientology's leader and his audience having a laugh at the fundraising efforts of their own fellow parishioners? Watch the above video and marvel.

The video appeared on Marty Rathbun's blog today under Mike Rinder's name, where the former high-level Scientology executive posted it as an example of the decline of the church. The narrator of the film, Scientology ultimate leader David Miscavige, appears to be giving the opposite impression -- that fundraising efforts in Europe to construct new "Ideal Orgs" are on fire.

But we're really having a hard time understanding why Miscavige is poking such fun at the goofy skits and musical acts at these fundraising events.

I mean, I thought that was our job!

As I mentioned earlier, I'm on the road and can't really dive into more about this. But I'm sure our commenters can help us interpret further the strange way Miscavige presented this seemingly good news!



tortega@villagevoice.com | @VoiceTonyO

Click here to see all recent Scientology coverage at the Voice

Tony Ortega is the editor-in-chief of The Village Voice. Since 1995, he's been writing about Scientology at several publications. Among his other stories about L. Ron Hubbard's organization:

The Larry Wollersheim Saga -- Scientology Finally Pays For Its Fraud
The Tory Bezazian (Christman) Story -- How the Internet Saved A Scientologist From Herself
The Jason Beghe Defection -- A Scientology Celebrity Goes Rogue
The Robert Cipriano Case -- A Hellacious Example of Fair Game
The Paul Haggis Ultimatum -- The 'Crash' Director Tells Scientology to Shove It
The Marc Headley Escape -- 'Tom Cruise Told Me to Talk to a Bottle'
The Aaron Saxton Accusation -- Australia turns up the heat on Scientology
The Jefferson Hawkins Stipulation -- Scientology's former PR genius comes clean
The Daniel Montalvo Double-Cross -- Scientology lures a young defector into a trap
A Church Myth Debunked -- Scientology and Proposition 8
Daniel Montalvo Strikes Back -- Scientology Hit with Stunning Child-Labor Lawsuits
When Scientologists Attack -- The Marty Rathbun Intimidation
A Scientologist Excommunicated -- The Michael Fairman SP Declaration
The Richard Leiby Operation -- Investigating a reporter's divorce to shut him up
The Hugh Urban Investigation -- An academic takes a harsh look at Scientology's past
Giovanni Ribisi as David Koresh -- A precedent for a Scientology-Branch Davidian link
Janet Reitman's Inside Scientology -- A masterful telling of Scientology's history
The Western Spy Network Revealed? -- Marty Rathbun ups the ante on David Miscavige
Scientology's Enemies List -- Are You On It?
Inside Inside Scientology -- An interview with author Janet Reitman
Scientology and the Nation of Islam -- Holy Doctrinal Mashup, Batman!
Scientologists -- How Many of Them Are There, Anyway?
Roger Weller's Wild Ride -- Scientology When it was Hip
The Marc Headley Infiltration -- A Scientology Spying Operation Revealed
Placido Domingo Jr: Scientology's Retaliation is "Scary and Pathetic"
An Interview with Nancy Many, Former Scientology Spy


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39 comments
Hannibalthefirst
Hannibalthefirst

I had noidea "dignitaries entertained" became a new viable statistic collectedby INCOMM. I read in HCOPL the most important statistics were things like: Student points, Auditorsmade and WDAH (well done auditing hours). No word about those. It appears DavidMiscavige uses statistics like a drunk uses a light posts,- for support but notfor illumination.

.

redhead
redhead

Human Rights lol , is he joking

redhead
redhead

opps sorry about double posting error

redhead
redhead

  INTIMIDATING, FRAUDULANT, BLACKMAILING, BRAINWASHING, MONEYMAKING,CONTROLLING, ABUSING, KIDNAPPING, and ENTRAPMENT to name a few thats Scientology for you. Join today and be part of an organisation that really want s to clear the planet. Make way for scientology , tell lies to your friends, abuse your friends, we will do anything to clear the planet and assimilate everyone who stands in our way.  We are beyond the law, why ? you may ask. The reason being we the collective write our own, we found loopholes . We are unstoppable and will pay millions to ensure our goals are met. We have friends in high places , working alongside goverment officials, even Big film stars have joined us in our quest to save the planet. We are a money making organisation. We are able to pay millions in court cases, because what we Tax exempt !!  Be part of a criminal activity , even better become a criminal yourself, go against your own concience.  On a last note, influence your friends and family , talk about it to strangers, let them know your a loving person, how much youve changed for the better, how your life has improved .

redhead
redhead

  INTIMIDATING, FRAUDULANT, BLACKMAILING, BRAINWASHING, MONEYMAKING,CONTROLLING, ABUSING, KIDNAPPING, and ENTRAPMENT to name a few thats Scientology for you. Join today and be part of an organisation that really want s to clear the planet. Make way for scientology , tell lies to your friends, abuse your friends, we will do anything to clear the planet and assimilate everyone who stands in our way.  We are beyond the law, why ? you may ask. The reason being we the collective write our own, we found loopholes . We are unstoppable and will pay millions to ensure our goals are met. We have friends in high places , working alongside goverment officials, even Big film stars have joined us in our quest to save the planet. We are a money making organisation. We are able to pay millions in court cases, because what we Tax exempt !!  Be part of a criminal activity , even better become a criminal yourself, go against your own concience.  On a last note, influence your friends and family , talk about it to strangers, let them know your a loving person, how much youve changed for the better, how your life has improved .

Myriam Breitman
Myriam Breitman

Miscavige can talk and talk and talk. It's like a Chinese torture listening to him. I'd donate 300K just to make him shut up.

Adam Holland
Adam Holland

You are having a hard time understanding this? Hello? Have you any idea what life is like for the fundraising committees?  Its a hectic mess.  It's awkward and irritating.  And even worse is the feeling you get when you don't want to leave a fundraising event, because people will ask you not to go.  Nothing in the everyday experience as a scientologist is more unconfortable then the high-pressure sales events.

How does this fit in? In a word: comic relief.

The members of the audience have all been to one of those goofy events, some of them were the organizers.  By having a laugh at the 'other' events, it lessens the awkwardness.  It makes fundraising events feel more normal to those who attend them.

I don't mean to sound rude, but I want to emphasize that *nobody* likes these fundraisers, even  the OT Committee members at each organization.  Nobody wants to stand on stage an ask their friends to give more money then would be sensible.  Understand this, and you start to understand the emotions felt by public members.

Strelnikov
Strelnikov

That "uncomfortableness" reminds me of the insane begging I was forced to do by a Christian high school I went to; I have no frigging clue why we were asked to go out and hit up local merchants for money, just that we did and I hated every minute of it. It was bad enough selling candy bars (World's Finest Chocolate) as a fundraiser; at least there the people got something in return for handing out money. That week of straight begging was the best/worst of my time in private school; it was great to be away and to walk around neighboring towns, but it was humiliating to ask for money from people you knew.

Dede
Dede

What a sadistic cunt

Liars suck
Liars suck

Speaking of corrupt ringmasters, google:    Murdochology and Scientology, a few Paralells

They won't be laughing very very soon.

dagobarbz
dagobarbz

He seems...angry. Maybe it's because he held Maiden Voyage events in the US on July 4, which is a 3 day weekend and nobody came.

So, he's holding a "do-over" of the Maiden Voyage roadshow, and by golly, members in good standing had better show up with their wallets!

MarkStark
MarkStark

The level of money squeeze is unfathomable. The Stupor Powerz building is finished, but not open, so I think the building is being held over some of the established members' heads. Before they quit, they want to see what that is about. They probably donated thousands to it.  I think when that opens, then some of the high rollers will start reading more and trusting less.

Also, it is not like some of these rich people don't travel. So if they drop in at one of these orgs that is supposed to be bursting with members, and find it empty, that has to have an impact. Then it is time to sip a nice hot bowl of squirrel broth.

DM should order Facebook "unfriendings" for all the people who aren't showing up the Maiden Voyage fundraiser.

Alice Kramden
Alice Kramden

That is the most boring video I ever sat through. I'm so sad I wasted 15 minutes of my life on it.His delivery is unbearable... ahhhhhh  so sad.. so sad

Gary Lee-Nova
Gary Lee-Nova

The video is really ghastly. 

The only reason I sat through it was because I treat such material as if it is a bug, or a germ, or a virus, under a microscope. 

Treating it in this manner I can study it objectively, or at least as objectively as possible; much like a medical researcher that must examine extremely ugly and dangerous stuff, under a microscope. 

There is no way to "like" such stuff, but sometimes, it is interesting to carefully observe and examine it, regardless of its hideous character.

Alice, if you're young, you may live long enough to visit the cemetery where the evil dwarf's dead body is buried and pour bottles of fresh urine on it, on a regular basis.

Toddyjams
Toddyjams

David Miscavige is even physically morphing into a class A bullshitter. He talks out of the side of his mouth and believes his own lies....like when he says even Elvis experts had trouble telling the two impersonators were fake ....but he's not joking in tone, and the two impersonators all but have ill-fitting wigs taped to their heads/   This is a coo-coo video.  Now there is no doubt at all the little Circus Ringmaster Miscavige enjoys degrading his followers into glle ---- AND that he writes the defamatory smear blogs on his feared targets himself, with gleeful enjoyment.   A Sick Man!  

Sid
Sid

I think DM is trying to convey the impression that fund-raising for Idle Morgues is a great fun experience for all the family.

I wonder if anyone in the audience gets the irony at 02:39 - "...one contributes to the Munich fund.....or else!"

I particularly like the forced laughter throughout, as people try their best to laugh at the unfunny scenes.

Miscavige's delivery is painful to listen to, but it's his "rolling thunder" technique, where he speaks faster and faster, culminating in meaningless statistics, and then finally the crowd goes wild.

Overall.....it's pretty sick, because here's the self-appointed "pope" of Scientology laughing at efforts to squeeze the last Euro out of people who have already "donated" more than they can afford to the IAS, which is spending its money harassing innocent people.

Scilonschools
Scilonschools

Nice to see Ann Archer, so happy when her son Tommy Davis, is listed 'Missing in Action'!

mjm
mjm

*in Anne Archer voice* HOW DARE YOU!

lmfao!

Scilonschools
Scilonschools

I would love to see results from a SWAP-200 test on DM and many of those featured in that video.

Guest
Guest

Miscavige, mocking his wealthy sheeple, finishes his satire with a howl, and another bank deposit.  Sums up Scientology for me.

Toddyjams
Toddyjams

Indeed.  David MIscavige:  The sadistic runt ciruc ringmaster, gleeful about the foolery of all his puppets.

I have little doubt now that that pea of a mind personally pens and supervises the defamatory drivel such as that leveled at Placido Domingo Jr. --- malicious. evil, cruel ...but self-revealing.

Ron
Ron

The worst part of these "Ideal Orgs" is that after all the fund-raising, the central organization will own the buildings, and the locals will be paying rent for the use the buildings that they paid for.

That, along with the 10% gross income skimmed off the top, insures that the orgs are always struggling while all the profit flows up to the central organization.

AnonRanGER
AnonRanGER

AFAIK, they dropped the rent thing.

dagobarbz
dagobarbz

San Diego already bought and lost their Ideal Org property, 8 prime acres along the I8 corridor. The local org couldn't pay the taxes on it so it's up for sale again.

Poor things were exhorted to "cash in your heirlooms" to pay for the stupid thing. Now they got no Ideal Org and no heirlooms.

Will 'Cash In A Kidney' be the next fundraiser for the San Diego org?

Guest
Guest

Am I the only one who finds Miscavige's voice unbearable?  It's like he's short of breath, rushing through his poorly written script, without any pacing or pauses.  His rhetoric is barely high-school level. 

MarkStark
MarkStark

"...and if you wouldn't dream of leaving home without the complete works of Kierkegaard on your Kindle even better."

I like the first line, but then he adds the Kierkegaard thing, and from there on in it relentlessly fake, but EXTREMELY confident. That is what Scilons groove on.

I never understood how people could listen to Hubbard either. "This is factual...fella by the name of Xenu." They both seem like pretentious idiots to me, but with Hubbard, at least he wasn't usually reciting a scripted speech, and took some pauses in his delivery.

In the last weeks of Jonestown, Jim Jones used to play tapes of his "news," blasting day and night over loudspeakers. Man, if Miscavige ever did that with this tape, I'd stab a table knife in my own chest before they could get the Kool-Aid mixed.

Rethkins
Rethkins

David Miscavige drones and has a speech impediment that sounds like Snagglepus.  Smarmy to the max.

dagobarbz
dagobarbz

I would turn down the Kool-Aid and demand squirrel broth.

Scientologee
Scientologee

New buildings do NOT equal a growing "religion". Period. 

MarkStark
MarkStark

"Hot couture?" Wasn't that the ecclesiastical uniform the teen messenger girls wore on the Apollo to please their Commodore?  White hot pants and platform shoes?

None of these acts have anything on the Phoenix girls, with their honest, straight forward going crazy for you. "You" meaning your money. Give money and go crazy. That's what Sciloontology is all about. They don't need no stinkin' Elvis impersonators.

Zander
Zander

Yes, it's sad and ridiculous, but hardly new. Decades ago, L. Ron Hubbard also made people behave absurdly, but we're supposed to forget about that now.

Rathbun and Rinder have, as their priority, not just attacking Miscavige, but also "salvaging" Hubbard's "image" and Scientology's reputation.

I hope all you "wogs" keep that in mind. 

LastOneStanding
LastOneStanding

its soo sad. these people are like small rodents after giving birth. they eat their own.

Not tempted
Not tempted

This reminds me of vacation time share sales events.  Scientologists are their own worst enemy.

Anon
Anon

Watching this video has left me profoundly sad; though truthfully I couldn't make it all the way to the end. Sad for all the deluded so-called parishioners, diminishing in numbers by the week, who have been pressured beyond belief to support this insane real estate acquisition drive. Miscavige can only measure the success of his 'church' in square feet of buildings purchased and renovated. By and large they are virtually empty. And as soon as the opening ceremonies are over, and the dignitaries fly off to the next hollow event, the handful of congregants remaining struggle to pay the power bills and keep toilet paper in the bathrooms. And work 100 hours a week to 'clear the planet.'

So very sad, especially for the children who had no choice.

Sid
Sid

 I feel sorry for everyone duped into Scientology, but my heart really goes out to 2nd and 3rd generation Scientologists - they didn't stand much of a chance.

Toddyjams
Toddyjams

I more see it like the bit for the Scientology (which has been known to help some, and I respect that), but got hooked by the gleaming sharp hook that has hijacked it.  They are criminal. 

Gary Lee-Nova
Gary Lee-Nova

The cult's gluttonous appetite for "bogus" is made very 'clear' with this video.

No pun intended, but there it is. 

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