United States Postal Service, Like United States, is Broke
The U.S. Postal Service reported a $3.1 billion quarterly loss on Friday and, at its current financial decline, won't be able to make the $5.5 billion payment for its retirement fund due next month. Politico reports that unless Congress wants to waive its fee, the United States Postal Service will default on its payment obligations. Quick, print out this story and mail it to yourself, the post office needs your help!
It was either Cliff or Newman, and I chose Cliff. Deal with it.
The postal service has faced a sharp drop-off in revenue in the past two decades as Americans have eschewed letters in favor of email. In other breaking news, Pangaea separates, dinosaurs die and the eighth season of Dallas is all a dream.
Still, the USPS has taken measures to stay alive (or, as some would see it, fight the inevitable). They have done or are planning to do the following:
- Reduced work hours by 3.1% in total over the third quarter
- Accepted the voluntary retirement of 1,850 administrative employees
- Plan to identify 3,700 underutilized post offices and shutter them
- Plan on shifting services to local retailers
- Finally introduce a series of stamps commemorating the 20th anniversary of Home Improvement (May just be something we want so bad we've convinced ourselves is true)
The fate of the United States Postal Service's retirement fund, as well as perhaps the fate of the United States Postal Service itself, rests in the hands of Congress.
Don't worry, USPS, they've never messed anything up before.