Smoking Is Dead; Long Live Smoking!

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New Yorkers, brave New Yorkers, have largely kicked that old, nasty, but sometimes oddly seductive habit of putting semi-flammable cancer-causing objects in their mouths and lighting them. Today Mayor Bloomberg said that the number of smoking New Yorkers is down to 14 percent. Back in 2002 the city counted 22 percent of puffing stalwarts among its ranks! There are 450,000 fewer adult smokers in New York than nine years ago, and also, even teens -- teens! -- aren't smoking. This along with the news that nobody does cocaine anymore could really mess with a person's belief in getting a nice unhealthy buzz on now and again. What are we, a land of wimps?

Why less smoking? Bloomberg, of course, would credit everything he's done, including banning smoking in workplaces, bars, restaurants, public parks, beaches, basically any of the more attractive places you might want to go to have a cigarette. Also, a pack of cigarettes is more dear than the Swarovski crystal-studded iPhone case you bought for your mom last year. All this progress fighting against something that we pretty much know will kill us (and sometimes, those around us!) is empowering, until we start to wonder...what comes next?

What other, malicious killer is patiently waiting out there, harbored in the shadows, ready to take smoking's place, ready to engage in battle with the government when the last smoker goes to that great smokehouse in the sky or is made bankrupt and has to switch to clove? Will it be...

1. Arsenic levels in apple juice?

2. Babies that get drunk "accidentally in bars" and then throw the complimentary crayons, hitting you in that spot right between your eyes, which kills you automatically, and in a fucking Applebee's?

3. Falling walk signs? Falling air conditioners? Falling down and hitting that spot right between your eyes, which kills you automatically, and wow, that's mortifying? (Remember how your mom used to call you "Grace"? She was being sarcastic.)

4. Rats that bite you in the peep toe of your open-toed shoe while you're waiting for the subway to come, infecting you with bubonic plague, which you then spread around town while innocently sharing Cosmo-tinis with your gal pals?

5. Karaoke dance-offs?

6. Getting old and dying?

Oh, God, we hope it's not #6.

NYC smoking rate drops to 14 percent [WSJ]

[JDoll / @thisisjendoll]

Go to Runnin' Scared for all our latest news coverage.


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7 comments
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I say ban smoking. If smokers develop a way to prevent others from inhaling their carcinogenic air then let them introduce it. Until then they should not be allowed to enjoy the same privileges as drinkers. However, if someone decides to drink heavily (and possibly die!) it will not affect me directly. Smoking, on the other hand will. I do not smoke or drink and thus do not rely on substances such as these that are psychoactive to get through the day.

Scretch
Scretch

That getting old and dying thing has never been kicked. But it beats the alternative and really who wants to live forever anyway?

Cesar Pelli
Cesar Pelli

Not quite soon enough for Carine Roitfeld but maybe others can take warning from her grim visage.

Epac
Epac

I love how smokers get upset that their "rights" are being taken away. I guess I should have the right to run down poeple in my car too. F*ck these brainwashees and all corporate-sponsered death.

bl1y
bl1y

I don't get the title.

Mike Morgan
Mike Morgan

Great column and the number of smokers is probably higher since many won't admit such behavior, even in an ananymous survey. Electronic cigarettes are becoming more popular, so does that count? So more at www.ecigwerks.blogspot.com.

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