10 Real-Life Etiquette Tips for Men, From a Woman
Today the Huffington Post has an intriguing entry (with slideshow!) from Daniel Post Senning, who happens to be Emily Post's great-grandson. He explains that etiquette is not just for women, oh no -- it is for men, too, and men, in fact, "are hungry to know what to do, what is expected of them and how to distinguish themselves."
We are glad of this news, for lack of etiquette, whether from man, woman, or animal, is something that bothers us immensely. But...pardon us for being rude...Emily Post's great-grandson does not seem to frequent our social circles, and thus, his essential etiquette tips -- get good at writing thank you notes? Ask permission to hold open a door for someone? RSVP? -- are a bit, well, let's just say "high-minded" for our ilk. In terms of etiquette, we suggest starting small and working your way up! Here are our 10 real-life etiquette tips. While we're ostensibly doling them out to hungry men, really, they go for women, too. Etiquette knows no gender.
10. Wash your hands. It is shocking, truly shocking, to us that there are men (and women, too, you know who you are) who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom. Can you really be in that much of a hurry/fearful of water and soap/that easily distracted? Make a little scrub and bub a part of your routine. It's fun, and gives you more time to gaze upon your handsome visage in the mirror and avoid getting to the task at hand (ho, ho). Also, in this city, doors are thin, and we can totally hear if you didn't wash and will always have that in the back of our minds when you ask us to dinner. Related: If you must read in the bathroom, deny, deny, deny!
9. Say hello, or sort of at least give a sidewise grin, when you pass a person you know and maybe once accidentally dated, whether you're on the sidewalk, at the gym, in the office, or at the mall. We realize sometimes this is awkward -- what the fuck are you doing at the mall? -- but it is one of those moments in which you need to just take the bull by the horns and do the right thing. Grace is about making others comfortable, then going home and eating a plate of mac and cheese and drinking an entire bottle of wine (or whatever it is you drink -- remember to recycle!) until you forget.
8. Table manners. How many relationships have been ruined by a wayward strand from a delicious French onion soup? Use a napkin when you eat, chew with your mouth closed, and never order the lobster on a first date. (If someone you're with does order the lobster on a first date, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, wash your hands, and climb out the window as quickly as you can.) You just dodged a minefield with that one, and anyway, some things are more important than etiquette!
7. Transportation manners. Attempt to keep your legs somewhat close together while riding the subway. Don't shove your way in when people are still trying to get off. Avoid honking too much if you're driving a cab. If someone asks for a ride and they live in Brooklyn, say HELL NO and speed away, then feel bad, turn around, pick them up, and drive them home. Acknowledge that guilt makes you do funny things; then make them give you gas money. Let them chose the CD, though.