10 Things New Yorkers Need to Stop Doing Immediately

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In light of the latest suspicious package left on public transit, which led to a shutdown of Times Square at peak commuting time (and, surely, got everybody's nerves up in a bunch, yet again, not to mention, is there enough coffee in the world for all of this?), it's time for a little PSA. Here are 10 things that we really need to stop doing. Call it etiquette, call it a movement for the betterment of society. Call it what you will. We're guilty of some, ourselves.

10. Please stop leaving your shit in places it does not belong. We don't care if it's a suitcase, a McDonald's bag with a half-eaten burger in it, a pile of vomit from that time you just couldn't help it. As you learned on your 4th grade field trip to the nature preserve, you don't leave your trash behind. Pick up after yourself. We're tired of having to call 311 about your suspicious package that's really an aging Samsonite you felt like letting the bus driver take care of. He does not want your shit, either!

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9. Men -- and we're singling you out because we've never seen a woman do this, but women, if you do this, this is for you, too (and you are disgusting) -- STOP SPITTING ON THE SIDEWALK AND STREET. This is repugnant behavior. Beyond that, it's incomprehensible. Is your body so compromised that you must rid it of its own saliva regularly? Or are you just trying to be obnoxious? (See #10: Please stop leaving your shit in places it does not belong.)

8. Hey, people who work for "good causes" by standing in the middle of the sidewalk with a clipboard and asking us if we believe that homelessness should continue or if we want to fight child abuse. Of course we don't think homelessness should continue! Of course we hate children being abused! What we don't like is your passive agressive questioning technique, and the fact that you think that you can trick us into stopping and signing your petition/giving you money with it. Get off the streets, and onto a computer, where you can send us an email reminder to donate that we can simply delete without having to step around you. (Similarly, yes, we do like comedy, and we're happy to tell someone where we got our hair done, but it's not you.)

7. We're not sure these people are really New Yorkers, but they seem to live here, so we'll address them as such: Please do not stand directly behind us as we wait to board the elevator. This is creepy, particularly when there is no one else there. Further, if we are in line (on line, if you must) at Duane Reade or the taco stand, please allow for a berth based on the size of an average human. Step back! You're freaking us out, and you're certainly not helping the line move faster.



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24 comments
Rhymes With Lasagna
Rhymes With Lasagna

"Please stop driving in my neighborhood, any neighborhood, with your windows rolled down blasting that song we used to dance to at the discoteca in Spain while we were studying abroad junior year and mostly intoxicated on piña y malibus. " All that shitty Proud Privilege rolled into one sentence makes me want to puke.

Also, I agree down below: "What should have been the number one thing - STOP BLOCKING THE SUBWAY DOORS WHEN RIDERS ARE TRYING TO GET OFF" - as long as he doesn't mean "trying to get off" in a creepy way.

Tess Stickles
Tess Stickles

#1 Dont stand still on the escalator!!!!#2 Luggage on wheels should be banned from sidewalks#3 Practice proper umbrella walking. 80% of the time you dont even need it pu$$y.#4 Put your phone down and pay attention to what you're doing#5 Walk on the RIGHT side of the sidewalk. This isn't London.

Jo
Jo

9. I'm a lady and I spit in the street, though usually when hocking a loogie (so really, it's a necessity). I don't spit for spit's sake.

8. Yeah, it's annoying... but a lot of these people aren't standing around asking us these questions because they enjoy it. They are doing the shittiest, shittiest job there is, and usually what they make depends on comissions so yeah... lose lose scenario for all involved. 

6. Seems kind of ironic

5. There have been lots of editorials about this recently.. and I think it's pretty silly for any one writer to make a judgement about how people should split bills. They should do it in a way that they are most comfortable with. I don't think there's a "right" way unless you're not paying your share in which case you're just an asshole. 

4. I find it kind of amusing when people blast their music in the car and look out at you for validation. "uhhh, dude, you're blasting LIMP. BIZKIT."

Joey
Joey

Concerning #8: I tell the Greenpeace people that I eat penguins, usually by shouting it. The bewildered look is amusing.

Concerning whichever one said quit getting so close - I try not to, but when it's unavoidable, it's unavoidable to get that close. As another commenter said, we're in a city of millions, and Manhattan alone has 2.5 of them so yes, space is limited.

Etinc2
Etinc2

i agree with Dcpnyc2011-out  that those are my biggest pet peeves in this city!  and when you're on the train and someone comes and stands right in front of you, face to face...also people who drift all over the sidewalk while walking like a snail because they are texting...if you must text and walk..stand to the side! these things make me want to engage in random acts of violence, so yes i will contribute to the new yorker on new yorker crime!

Info
Info

go fuck yourself

GUEST
GUEST

Sound like White People Problems!

t
t

If you"need" to spit, you need to see the doctor. 

Oh yea, litter might be de rigueur where you come from, but the rule is if you drop shit all over your neighborhood, your neigborhood ends up looking like shit. Rocket science huh?

Snapple
Snapple

New Yorkers should stop leaving Snapple bottles full of pee in the gutters. I know this is mainly cab drivers, and as much as I'd like to think they are all from Yonkers or New Jersey, I know they aren't.

Snapple fulla pee gotta stop.

Manchegogo
Manchegogo

"Stop being judgemental"? to quote the mayor in ghostbusters " Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right."and please stop using the word "sot". It's one of those British words that no one in NY or the US uses. Like "quid" or "blimey".AND the #1 thing NY's should stop doing: Telling other NY's how to behave.

gbc204
gbc204

It's not the cars with the "impressive bass" that are the worst. It's the cars with shitty, shitty stereos that blast their music, crackling through their awful, tinny speakers that really annoys me. With good stereos, maybe you're just showing off. Fine. You paid a lot. Well done. But the people with the shitty car stereos just sound pathetic. Hey, rockin' treble!

Sergio
Sergio

What city do you live in? Dont stand behind me? Two and a half mil+ in a tiny island. People are damn near crawling on top of each other in some areas starting with my neighborhood.

Dont spit on the street? Sometimes you just have too. Sorry.

The guy with the booming system? What do you expect from the hood? Move to Scarsdale.

NYC is an amazing place but with so many people, of course youre going to see things you dont agree with. If youre a true new yorker you brush it off and KEEP IT MOVIN!

Sounds like someone needs to build their own city.

Joe_Schmo
Joe_Schmo

Sometimes you gotta spit, sorry.

Dcpnyc2011-out
Dcpnyc2011-out

What should have been the number one thing - STOP BLOCKING THE SUBWAY DOORS WHEN RIDERS ARE TRYING TO GET OFF.Number 2  - Abruptly stopping on the stairs as you get in the last very very oh-so--it can't possibly wait- text that you are sending. Either do it at the top off to the side so you aren't blocking others or wait till you get off the train ( But then don't do it going up the stairs hoping for that instant when you get service)

Epac
Epac

Um...did a Runnin' Scared blogger actually just ask NY'ers to "Stop being so judgmental"???

Nosilla Remarc
Nosilla Remarc

I have recurring sinus infections and I unapologetically spit in the street. Can't stop, won't stop.I do look behind me to make sure no one's too close by though.

Jayshells
Jayshells

This morning, I was riding up 8th Avenue in the 30's and a young woman spit a nasty mouthful of what looked like shrimp and lobster sauce, but was really a massive blob of lung butter, into the bike lane and nearly took me out. Nasty. 

Orangezen
Orangezen

Nice list but the number one, doesn't apply universally to everything. There are many things that are "Only in New York." Like how within one week, both Radiohead and Portishead are playing two shows in NYC. That and many other things are "Only in New York." Yes, it's a annoying and common general saying, but it still rings true and valid everyday.

Ffred434
Ffred434

You've never been to Chinatown, if you've never seen a woman spit on the sidewalk.

johhnboy0006
johhnboy0006

@gbc204 The funny part is when they get close to 50"s they will have lost most of there hearing and acting like 80-90 year olds. .payback is a bitch

gbc204
gbc204

Agree 100%. With all the shit that's floating through the air- bugs, dust, regular NYC air- sometimes there is no other choice. Especially if you're riding your bike and forget to close your mouth. I've had all sorts of gritty shit fly in there.And certainly, spitting on the sidewalk is not nearly as bad as letting dogs pee on the sidewalk. Why is this OK? You gotta pick up poop. You should have to mop up pee. It's disgusting. This should be on the list.

Aimee
Aimee

Then carry tissues and spit into that. You're disgusting.

Jo
Jo

Loogies require at least 15 tissues. They're biodegradable. 

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