Please Stop Christmas Shopping in October, You're Making Us Look Bad

Check your calendars, friends. Yep, we're in October, a month in which your only concern should be which of your lightweight jackets to throw across your shoulders as you tread effortlessly out of your house and also, what creative and intelligent but still sultry and appealing to members of whichever sex you prefer thematic outfit you will be wearing at whichever Halloween party you choose to attend this weekend. Maybe, if you're really neurotic, you can ask yourself (but only once!): "Should I get the flu vaccine this season?" (If you're asking, the answer is yes.) But under no circumstances should you spend any time thinking, "Will it snow this weekend?" And certainly, certainly do not ask yourself or anyone else, "Have I completed my Christmas shopping yet?"

This is a plea in the interest of good sense and not being completely insane. Can we AT LEAST wait until November 1 to start our holiday shopping? Isn't this dog-eat-dog world in which kids grow up too fast and all we really have is each other, except only on the Internet, far too fast-paced as it is? Do early Christmas shoppers have to make us feel bad, TOO?

The Wall Street Journal today writes of Angela Richens, an otherwise surely lovely lady "who finished her Christmas shopping four weeks ago." (WTF.) We hate her. Further, the Journal informs us that frugal consumers will begin their shopping early this year, even earlier than usual, to save on BLAH BLAH BLAH we hate them, too. According to the National Retail Foundation, 39 percent of Americans have already started their holiday shopping. Shouldn't they be busy Occupying Wall Street or something?

Listen, we're going to give you a tip: Here's how you do your holiday shopping. On the night before Christmas Eve, realize that you haven't bought a thing for anybody. Hop on your flight to the far-away destination (or journey to the nearby neighborhood) where your parents or whomever you plan to spend the holiday with live. Upon arrival, make a trip to the local drugstore, which will be sold out of anything good, but you can at least find some elderly chocolates to put in stockings (ask for a discount!). Then, make a donation in each of your family members' names to some good cause that you know they'll appreciate, but really don't make a donation, just write out some fake cards that say that you did. No one will be any the wiser, there's nothing to wrap, and all that cash will be in your pocket for something truly important, like paying your rent. And don't you think your relatives care about that?

Also, come on, do you really have a dedicated closet for keeping all your perfectly wrapped gifts for the months until Christmas? Ms. Richens does.

By the way, it really might snow this weekend.

For Early Shoppers, It's a Wrap [WSJ]

[JDoll / @thisisjendoll]
Go to Runnin' Scared for all our latest news coverage.

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help

Lol... I just came across this story today. As a single father of two little ones, and on a fixed income, I had no choice but to start my shopping early. You know those end of summer sales and clearances that clear out space for the new season of toys retailers stock for the holidays? That's when I started my holiday shopping. For under $50 got half the presents for my kids. The toys they'd been wanting from the beginning of the year toy season, but I couldn't afford. I then stretched out my shopping from then (basically June) until the days just before Christmas, watching the sales trends so I know when to buy. I am also one of those people who were inside Walmart at 5pm on Thanksgiving to get the early Black Friday Sales.

Do I over do Christmas? Yes. Do I probably give my kids too many gifts? Most definitely. But these are kids who go out of their way to help others without me ever having to even suggest that they do. So I feel they deserve it. How much am I spending? About $700 to $900. How much would I have spent had I not started in June and watch sales? About $1500 to $2000.

Kohls Coupons
Kohls Coupons

Lo another season of X'mas shopping begins. Can someone tell me where do I buy mural paintings for my living room?


Christmas would be always be special out for every one specially for the woman and children because woman loves shopping and children loves Christmas gifts..

Now Trending

New York Concert Tickets

From the Vault