Scientists Working on a Pill to Make Drinking Less Fun
Scientists at the University of Adelaide are working on a pill that lets people drink alcohol without becoming drunk. The Daily News reports that it is still a few years away, but the "stay sober" pill will "limit the effects of alcohol on the brain." In other words, it doesn't stop the damage alcohol does to your body, just the fun side effects. Researchers say they are devoloping the pill to treat "alcohol dependence and acute overdoses," but everyone knows they are just trying to win the coveted Worst Invention in the World award.
According to the British Journal of Pharmacology, the scientists gave the drug to mice along with copious (for mice) amounts of alcohol. "When a mouse gets drunk, it is quite similar to a human that's drunk," lead researcher Mark Hutchinson asserted. The mice that were administered the medication didn't exhibit any drunken behavior, and the scientists let them drive home.
The drug acts on the immune system, leading to the study's most groundbreaking discovery: Our immune systems may be as or more responsible for drunken behavior than our nervous systems. The "stay sober" pill is just a byproduct of this. Still, it's a stupid invention.
What else could the researchers at the University of Adelaide be working on?
- A condom that eliminates all the feeling from sex, but doesn't prevent pregnancy or STDs.
- Cigarettes that give you lung cancer but make you look like a weenie.
- Airbags that deploy only during drive-in movies.
- Cake that tastes like arugula.
- Dry clean only chinos that are made from washable fabrics.