Think Different: Rightbloggers Mourn the Death of Noted Conservative Hippie-Hater Steve Jobs

tomt200.jpgThe death last week of Apple founder Steve Jobs was sad news for his friends, family, and the computer and design world in general.

Rightbloggers mostly took it as an occasion to tell the world that Jobs was right-wing -- or, if not right-wing in the sense of having actually expressed right-wing beliefs, then right-wing in the sense that he made a lot of money, which is only done by right-wing people.

Rightbloggers also denounced those damned dirty OWS hippies who had the nerve to denounce Wall Street while using products created by their new best dead friend.

Not all rightbloggers were warm for Jobs. At RedState, Ridiculous Pseudonym noted that "while most Apple people are profound liberals - smarmy, off-putting and creepy, Jobs managed to snare some prominent conservatives," e.g. Rush Limbaugh.

But Ridic Pseud wasn't fooled -- he considered Jobs "another smug Liberal who eschewed Capitalism and Commercialization publically while personally profiting handsomely... I darkly wish he had lived a good long life to become another self-loathing, ultra-rich lefty just so I do not have to listen to all the speculation about possible sainthood." (Ridic added "Rest in peace, Steve," probably to show that, like many assholes who rag on the newly-dead, he is a Christian.)

But most rightbloggers disagreed. "On a number of conservative talk shows, I've heard people say that Steve Jobs should not be admired because he was a political and social liberal," said Godfather Politics. But he wasn't going for that, because "Jobs may have been a liberal, but he worked like a conservative."

Some of you may be thinking: What, liberals don't work hard? What is he talking about? You have to understand that, while the death of Jobs was not a political event, rightbloggers have a condition -- possibly genetic, no one knows for sure -- that drives them to impose politics onto anything that happens, particularly if it's a popular news event, mention of which might draw traffic to their site.

When there isn't any obvious rightwing hook, they just turn to stuff they can connect to it, however tenuously. One of their Steve Jobs go-to themes was Occupy Wall Street. The kids on Wall Street have iPhones; Apple is traded on the stock exchange; therefore, your argument is invalid.

"While the Kamp Alinsky Kids ditch school to moan about their massive student debt, parade around in zombie costumes, and whine about evil corporations while Tweeting, Facebook-ing, blogging, and Skype-ing their 'revolution,'" skeined Michelle Malkin, "it's the doers and producers and wealth creators like Jobs who change the world. They are the gifted 1 percent whom the #OWS '99 percent-ers' mob seeks to demonize, marginalize, and tax out of existence..."

Malkin clutched Jobs' scrawny corpse to her bosom thus for hundreds of words, then suddenly turned it completely around: "The progressives who want to bring down 'Wall Street' will snipe that Steve Jobs was one of 'theirs,' not 'ours,'" she claimed, citing no sources. "[Jobs] belonged to no one." It's like Malkin grabbed the podium at Jobs' funeral, harangued the astonished crowd to vote Republican because the deceased -- unbeknownst to them -- was a Republican, and then denounced unnamed parties who sought to politicize his death.

jobscartoon2.jpg
Yeah, man, who's this "Steve Jobs" dude, anyway? P.S. Off the pigs.
Kathleen Gee of HillBuzz, deeply moved by Jobs death, declared "Anti-Capitalists, Bite My Ass," and while "crying" told readers that "Steve Jobs embodied everything these worthless Marxist losers gathered on Wall Street hate."

Dr. Paul Kengor of American Conservative Daily took up the theme:

"Steve Jobs has passed away," I heard a DJ remark. "That's a shame."

Yes, it is a shame. I was saddened to hear that.

I was equally shocked as I turned the dial and heard something even more deadly. [? -ed.] It was a comment from actress/comedienne Roseanne Barr, literally calling for the death of certain wealthy Americans.

He means this quote, in which Roseanne called for the banksters' heads. "Steve Jobs was among 'the rich,'" answered Kengor. "It is the likes of Jobs that have given these folks the pleasures and creature comforts they enjoy minute to minute." And yet the hippies killed him with their pancreatic cancer!

Well, not quite, but their table manners are awful: the "ranting, raving, raging college kids" of Occupy Wall Street were "slurping Starbucks and staring into I-phones," asserted Kengor, "while angrily protesting the very system that made it all possible in the first place," that system being Mac OSX. And to make things worse, "the Wall Street 'occupiers' are exploiting the technology that [Jobs] helped create... Roseanne and the mob do not understand this country and its market system... Steve Jobs understood. May he rest in peace."

After going on at length about OWS (whose "complaints are all couched in moral language," he said, "that belies the underlying nihilism of the protestors"), Tony Woodlief of The World noted that "Steve Jobs prided himself on being counter-cultural, but in an important sense this adopted child who grew to be a tycoon is quintessentially American." That is, though he experimented with drugs and Eastern religions, said Woodlief, "what [Jobs] did not do was tacitly throw his fate -- and responsibility for his life -- into the hands of other people" -- unlike those "overprivileged, overgrown children occupying city streets" who "that they are owed something." So, basically, the life lesson of Steve Jobs is, get a job.

Others just went with their general love of capitalism, which they felt made them blood brothers with the recently deceased founder of Apple.

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20 comments
Brian Schlosser
Brian Schlosser

Why... It's almost as if Steve Jobs was an example of how a person can hold liberal political ideas and still believe in capitalism as a economic system! But that's madness... everyone knows that liberal = communist and capitalist = conservative. Ego, since Jobs was clearly a capitalist, he had to be conservative.

This is similar to the fact that conservative = heterosexual, and that any conservative politicians found engaging in homosexual behavior aren't REALLY gay, they can't be... because they are conservatives.

Mr. Wonderful
Mr. Wonderful

If a bird sings or a leaf falls, their minds calculate the political consequences of the event, and race to tell the world.

Oooh, not quite.  Their minds calculate, not the political consequences of the event (which would point toward the future), but how the event provides confirmation of their own political opinions (which stares fixedly, poutingly at the past).  When translated from the original Latin, the motto on the rightbloggers' coat of arms is "See?  NOW don't you think I'm cool?"

Macequip
Macequip

As a conservative Imust have missed something, I did not hear "most" cnservative bloggers denoucne Steve Jobs as a liberal.  Rather I head much accolades as to his business accumen and innovation.  Steve Jobs was in fact liberal, but who cares, he was a liberal who acknowledge capitalism and was well aware it was Wall St. that allowed him to make his first public offerring of Apple for 100 million dollars and launch Apple to what it beaame.  No doubt there would be people on both sides that have something negative to say, but they should be ignored.  It's like saying you only listen to MSNBC who has lost their way, for all your news.  I have only heard good things from right and left about Steve.  And there is nothing more sad that you using Steve Jobs death as another way to embarass the right for a handfull of bloggers out of the norm. 

Al Swearengen
Al Swearengen

"MSNBC who has lost their way"  Yeah, I too feel the same way every time "Morning Joe" comes on.

parsec
parsec

"And there is nothing more sad that you using Steve Jobs death as another way to embarass the right for a handfull of bloggers out of the norm. "

Who used who for what, and the result was what?

Rob Grigjanis
Rob Grigjanis

I have only heard good things from right and left about Steve.

Allow me. Sweatshops and child labour in China. You're welcome.

Glock H. Palin, Esq.
Glock H. Palin, Esq.

"But what Jobs and innovators like him also epitomize are the immeasurable qualities that the left somehow finds most abject — American exceptionalism."

Now that right there is some grade AAA bloggerel. I recognize all the talking points, but the sentence as a whole might as well be "colorless green ideas sleep furiously" for all the semantic content it has.

Al Swearengen
Al Swearengen

As Maher put it years ago, America is "Mommy" to rightwingers.  AND YOU BETTER NOT SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT MOMMY!

glenn
glenn

Though she's not a blogger, the bestest of all right wing eulogies came from none other than the Snowflake Snooki, Sarah Palin, who said with her trademark eloquence: "Steve Jobs was certainly not a singular man. He was not an -- he was an island that touched so many people. And he will surely be missed."

Roger Ailes
Roger Ailes

What, no wingnuts mentioned the prophetic "1984" commercial, in which a young Sarah Palin threw a hammer through F.D.R.'s giant black-and-white phizz?

janecollins
janecollins

my sisters friend makes $50 an hour on the computer. She has been out of job for 9 months but last month her cheque was $6200 just working on the internet for a few hours. Read about it here CashHard.com

Lothar
Lothar

Not interested in the website, but could you introduce me to your sister's friend?  Colour me intrigued.

Paleotectonics
Paleotectonics

See what else Steve has done for us? Saved the economy, that's what! 3 hours work on a (presumably) Mac for $6200. Also, he has bought back the UK spelling "cheque"! What a guy!!!

allium
allium

That "q" came from Ira (formerly Iraq) along with the 80 trillion hogsheads of crude oil we got in thanks for our efforts there.

Waffle_Man
Waffle_Man

Yeah, those dirty hippies, if they had their way, iPhone programs would all have to vetted by a central authority before you could download them, and I bet that same authority would even argue that it was illegal to install anything they didn't approve of.

Thank god we have good capitalists running Apple.

Substance McGravitas
Substance McGravitas

The Greatest Conservative Icon of Our Time

I'm sure someone else will die and replace him.  Won't THAT be great too?

Ayn Calvin
Ayn Calvin

"Why can't you be like that nice Jobs boy?, he always does his chores and keeps his room _real_ neat."---"But he's dead....""Like I said, why can't you be more like that nice Jobs boy?"

Crocodile tears from the swampers whose usual reaction to hearing that a man 'has great design sense' is to beat or mock the damn faggit. Adulation that indicates, despite my attempts at maturity in assuming good faith in my opponents, that money is what they care most about, it can wash away any sin except for being a secular Jew foreigner or a Hollywood type or a Kennedy.

Now wait for the 'See what an Ay-rab can do when not held back by their culture?'

McSalmon
McSalmon

I say they have to generate their own food, water and electricity and not use the public infrastructure anymore. If I have to live in a cave, they have to live in a bunker. If we're nice, we won't use their ventilation shafts for outhouses.

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