Think Different: Rightbloggers Mourn the Death of Noted Conservative Hippie-Hater Steve Jobs

tomt200.jpgThe death last week of Apple founder Steve Jobs was sad news for his friends, family, and the computer and design world in general.

Rightbloggers mostly took it as an occasion to tell the world that Jobs was right-wing -- or, if not right-wing in the sense of having actually expressed right-wing beliefs, then right-wing in the sense that he made a lot of money, which is only done by right-wing people.

Rightbloggers also denounced those damned dirty OWS hippies who had the nerve to denounce Wall Street while using products created by their new best dead friend.

Not all rightbloggers were warm for Jobs. At RedState, Ridiculous Pseudonym noted that "while most Apple people are profound liberals - smarmy, off-putting and creepy, Jobs managed to snare some prominent conservatives," e.g. Rush Limbaugh.

But Ridic Pseud wasn't fooled -- he considered Jobs "another smug Liberal who eschewed Capitalism and Commercialization publically while personally profiting handsomely... I darkly wish he had lived a good long life to become another self-loathing, ultra-rich lefty just so I do not have to listen to all the speculation about possible sainthood." (Ridic added "Rest in peace, Steve," probably to show that, like many assholes who rag on the newly-dead, he is a Christian.)

But most rightbloggers disagreed. "On a number of conservative talk shows, I've heard people say that Steve Jobs should not be admired because he was a political and social liberal," said Godfather Politics. But he wasn't going for that, because "Jobs may have been a liberal, but he worked like a conservative."

Some of you may be thinking: What, liberals don't work hard? What is he talking about? You have to understand that, while the death of Jobs was not a political event, rightbloggers have a condition -- possibly genetic, no one knows for sure -- that drives them to impose politics onto anything that happens, particularly if it's a popular news event, mention of which might draw traffic to their site.

When there isn't any obvious rightwing hook, they just turn to stuff they can connect to it, however tenuously. One of their Steve Jobs go-to themes was Occupy Wall Street. The kids on Wall Street have iPhones; Apple is traded on the stock exchange; therefore, your argument is invalid.

"While the Kamp Alinsky Kids ditch school to moan about their massive student debt, parade around in zombie costumes, and whine about evil corporations while Tweeting, Facebook-ing, blogging, and Skype-ing their 'revolution,'" skeined Michelle Malkin, "it's the doers and producers and wealth creators like Jobs who change the world. They are the gifted 1 percent whom the #OWS '99 percent-ers' mob seeks to demonize, marginalize, and tax out of existence..."

Malkin clutched Jobs' scrawny corpse to her bosom thus for hundreds of words, then suddenly turned it completely around: "The progressives who want to bring down 'Wall Street' will snipe that Steve Jobs was one of 'theirs,' not 'ours,'" she claimed, citing no sources. "[Jobs] belonged to no one." It's like Malkin grabbed the podium at Jobs' funeral, harangued the astonished crowd to vote Republican because the deceased -- unbeknownst to them -- was a Republican, and then denounced unnamed parties who sought to politicize his death.

jobscartoon2.jpg
Yeah, man, who's this "Steve Jobs" dude, anyway? P.S. Off the pigs.
Kathleen Gee of HillBuzz, deeply moved by Jobs death, declared "Anti-Capitalists, Bite My Ass," and while "crying" told readers that "Steve Jobs embodied everything these worthless Marxist losers gathered on Wall Street hate."

Dr. Paul Kengor of American Conservative Daily took up the theme:

"Steve Jobs has passed away," I heard a DJ remark. "That's a shame."

Yes, it is a shame. I was saddened to hear that.

I was equally shocked as I turned the dial and heard something even more deadly. [? -ed.] It was a comment from actress/comedienne Roseanne Barr, literally calling for the death of certain wealthy Americans.

He means this quote, in which Roseanne called for the banksters' heads. "Steve Jobs was among 'the rich,'" answered Kengor. "It is the likes of Jobs that have given these folks the pleasures and creature comforts they enjoy minute to minute." And yet the hippies killed him with their pancreatic cancer!

Well, not quite, but their table manners are awful: the "ranting, raving, raging college kids" of Occupy Wall Street were "slurping Starbucks and staring into I-phones," asserted Kengor, "while angrily protesting the very system that made it all possible in the first place," that system being Mac OSX. And to make things worse, "the Wall Street 'occupiers' are exploiting the technology that [Jobs] helped create... Roseanne and the mob do not understand this country and its market system... Steve Jobs understood. May he rest in peace."

After going on at length about OWS (whose "complaints are all couched in moral language," he said, "that belies the underlying nihilism of the protestors"), Tony Woodlief of The World noted that "Steve Jobs prided himself on being counter-cultural, but in an important sense this adopted child who grew to be a tycoon is quintessentially American." That is, though he experimented with drugs and Eastern religions, said Woodlief, "what [Jobs] did not do was tacitly throw his fate -- and responsibility for his life -- into the hands of other people" -- unlike those "overprivileged, overgrown children occupying city streets" who "that they are owed something." So, basically, the life lesson of Steve Jobs is, get a job.

Others just went with their general love of capitalism, which they felt made them blood brothers with the recently deceased founder of Apple.


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