What Will Andy Rooney Talk About During His Last '60 Minutes' Appearance?

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Tonight, after 33-years on CBS's 60 Minutes, Andy Rooney will be stepping down. Rooney's short segments, 1,096 of them in all, were must-see TV. His essays were observations on everyday life, but he was at his best when he was complaining about modern life. Tonight, 60 Minutes is airing a retrospective on Rooney's career, plus one last Andy Rooney essay to close the show. What will it be about?

We've created odds in case you want to wager on what Rooney will talk about during his final segment. (Don't gamble, gambling is illegal):

17/1: Why is gambling illegal?

15/7: Soup: food or drink, pick a side!

11/3: Why don't they make shoes for hands?

7/2: Do you feel that draught?

9/1: Waiters!

23/11: Why do cities in New Mexico have such silly names?

11/1: Waiters?

1000/1: A heartfelt goodbye to my viewers.

3/2: Does cereal think it's better than me just because everyone eats it?

Andy Rooney, "chronicler of the particular" [CBS]

[@nickgreene][ngreene@villagevoice.com]

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