Amazon Users Review Same Type of Pepper Spray Used by UC Davis Cop

seurat pepper spray cop .jpg
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A brand of pepper spray that's apparently the same kind used by a UC Davis cop on peaceful student protesters is for sale on Amazon, naturally. The Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray costs $74.79 and you can buy the thing online, because this is America. People have taken to Amazon to leave scathing reviews of the spray.

"D-bag of Liberty" writes:

Whenever I need to breezily inflict discipline on unruly citizens, I know I can trust Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray to get the job done! The power of reason is no match for Defense Technology's superior repression power. When I reach for my can of Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray, I know that even the mighty First Amendment doesn't stand a chance against its many scovil units of civil rights suppression.

When I feel threatened by students, no matter how unarmed, peaceful and seated they may be, I know that Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray has got my back as I casually spray away at point blank range.

It really is the Cadillac of citizen repression technology.

Buy a whole case!

from "Andrew Esocbar":

Defense Technology is the only brand of pepper spray we trust to suppress and punish peacefully protesting students at our academic institution.

ActualAir writes:

First, this baby has everything you would expect from Defense Technology brand pepper spray. It burns like hell. Whether you're spraying directly into eyes or mouths - this will cause excruciating pain.

Second, and I know it's not explicitly listed as one the uses on the can, but it's also an amazing human arm de-linker. So if you have this gigantic public space and a dozen people are sitting there with their arms linked - this will really help in your effort to de-link those arms.

I bought four canisters along with this head-smasher thingy: [...]
Don't think, just buy it and spray.

Reminds us of the Three Wolf Moon thing, except more serious and scary.

[rgray@villagevoice.com] [@_rosiegray]

Go to Runnin' Scared for more Voice news coverage.

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3 comments
Mpe-llc
Mpe-llc

Please someone write an honest thank you letter to Amazon for the creation of the best humor rag on the web! The next best thing to do would be to send these 'product reviews' to police department equipment purchasers. Can you imagine the total lose of muscle control after a good read. Should we read these product reviews as part of a Occupy action? What if the police could not stand up straight after hearing the best of these 'product reviews'? Are we seeing the end of police brutality via HUMOR? WOW

Al Swearengen
Al Swearengen

My favorite is the "Warning: This product will multiply protesters" one.

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