Emergency Alert System to Interrupt All Television Wednesday, Cause Mass Hysteria
This Wednesday, a day after we narrowly avoid being hit by an asteroid, America will face yet another threat: television interruption. On November 9th, the FCC, FEMA, Homeland Security, and the National Weather Service will conduct a nationwide test of the Emergency Alert System. Mediaite reports this is the organizations' "first all-inclusive, national test," and it will occur at 2 p.m. EST. For a couple minutes this week, there will be nothing on TV. May God help us all.
Will Skynet become self-aware as well?
The FCC and other organizations routinely run "state-level monthly tests and local-level weekly tests," but never before has a comprehensive country-wide interruption taken place. FEMA and the FCC "will use the results of this nationwide test to assess the reliability and effectiveness of the EAS as a public alert mechanism."
Besides getting vital information out, the purpose of the test is to reduce panic in the event of a real emergency. It is hard to imagine, however, that citizens won't slip into mass hysteria when their regularly scheduled 2 p.m. programming is taken off the air. Cars will be overturned and looters will run rampant if the FCC continues with their irresponsible plan to interrupt Scrubs and Ghost Whisperer reruns.
Pray for fans of One Life to Live, for they will be hit hardest.