The Epic A to Z Guide of Expressions That Should Be Retired From the Internet (and IRL)

funny-pictures-this-baby-panda-bids-you-hello.jpg
Oh. Hi.
There are times in the great big blogoverse in which we are faced with the fact that certain things we have been doing are somewhat or hugely annoying. Upon that discovery, we generally continue to do those things, but with a nagging feeling of guilt and self-doubt that only continues to grow in intensity until we can't stand it any longer and throw up our hands and shout, "Make it stop!" And then, we blame everyone else, because they made us do it.

In a similar vein, and because it's Monday, here is a hand-crafted artisanal guide of commonly used words and phrases that we can take no longer, whether online or outside the confines of an internet connection. Mostly we hate them because they are overused, lazy, cliched, boring, deplorably cutesy, or could be better put another way. Other times we hate them because, well, frankly, haters gonna hate. Read on, after the jump.

Numbers and symbols
@
<3, or, as we call it at VV HQ: "less than three"
# (jokey use of hashtags)
!!!, !!!!, !!!!!
:), ;), :(, :P

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A
adksjlfsjflka;djkfl;a (and any variation of such)
Always Be _____ ; AB_
amazeballs
artisanal
awesomesauce

B
bandwidth
bloggerati
blowcaine
breaking!
bucket list

C
chillaxin'
cougar
CrackBerry
crowdsourcing, as in "We crowdsourced this listicle."
curated "We curated it, too!"

D
D-bag
dayum
"Dear _________ please stop __________ sincerely _______"
d00dz (what the fuck is this, even? Oh.)

E
e-____ (e-anything as a cutesy way of saying it is online is simply horrid. Horrid.)
epic

F
fail
fail, epic; a/k/a EPIC FAIL
fail whale
FTW
fuck you, you fuckin' fuck
FWIW

G
gasm
"go viral" (yuck)
guru

Thumbnail image for hatersgonna.jpg
H
hate
hate follow
haterade
haters gonna hate
hipster
hive mind
humble brag (Fact: the humble brag simply functions as a braggier, inside-baseball version of the traditional brag. Avoid it at all costs.)


I
I can haz _____
IDK
I haz a ____
inside baseball
Internets, the
Internetz, the
IRL

J
jam, as in "this is my jam"

cup-of-lol.gif
K
kewl
killing it

L
le sigh
listicle
LMFAO
LOL
LOLOL
LOLOLOLLLLL
LULZ

My Voice Nation Help
20 comments
Sakara
Sakara

TROLL------libs, gays, and teens love to call anybody who disagrees with them that word

your dream guy, sadly
your dream guy, sadly

Awwww, poor Jenny. Nobody smiley-faces her. Here's a :-) at you, doll.

...What the hell, have a :-D

billyjoe
billyjoe

You forgot one of the most abused Y words, especially on the Yelp website:

"Yum!" or "Yummy!"

Kent R. Atkinson
Kent R. Atkinson

accountability,scalable,rubric,cadre, have this conversation,hehehe,unkabogable

Suzee
Suzee

Can we please ban all use of emoticons too?

Luke
Luke

Get rid of comments sections, too.

mnemognose
mnemognose

What about "Note to self"?? When posting to hundreds of people, isn't it a "Note to hundreds of people"??

Egrady
Egrady

you forgot "check it" 

MrWednesday7
MrWednesday7

Actually, this list being personal to the author, there are some that I would cull, e.g. cougar, and others like "i can has" which are cute and fun.

Thats teh internets tho.

DC
DC

KTHXBAI and all variations thereof.

Jeff Overley
Jeff Overley

If we can carve out the occasional exception for "epic," fully support banishing every word/acronym/phrase on the list. Would add IMO, IMHO and "just sayin."

em
em

Hey, Jack Smiley:

The VV is cool for calling us out on dumb internet memes. Because they're dumb. Sure, some of these are actually useful. (I'd say "meh" is still fair game because it's really telling without having to tell the whole story.) But for the most part, these expressions are both useless and overused.

In fact, I haven't used or seen anyone I know use about half of them. But maybe I'm not kewl, either.

Jack Smiley
Jack Smiley

And all this time I thought the VV was kewl.

rahr (accompanied by clawed hand gesture; see also "cougar")

I'm curious as to how one incorporates hand gestures (clawed or otherwise) online, and how you have been digitally annoyed by such gestures.  Please explain.  Rowr.

Jack Smiley
Jack Smiley

Which crotchety old fuck wrote this?  Also, you need a comma after the word "shout."

em
em

Yeah, IMO and IMHO gotta go.

Burnttoastyone
Burnttoastyone

"Which crotchety old fuck wrote this?" I was going to post the same thing. It's not that serious, lighten up!

(The "nom" thing does annoy me though, but not enough to go on a rant)

Jdoll
Jdoll

byline = "crotchety old fuck." thanks for reading! 

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