Let's Play The Republican Presidential Debate Drinking Game!

GOPDebate.jpg
Tonight marks yet another Republican presidential debate, and podium enthusiasts across the country will be glued to their TV screens when the candidates take the stage. The CBS/National Journal/Pennzoil/Burger King/Papa John's/AMC Loews/Comcast/Olive Garden/Mercedes/StarKist/Beef 'O' Brady's/Meineke/SC GOP forum kicks off at 8 p.m. EST from Wofford College in South Carolina. Like Thanksgiving dinner, Republican debates are gatherings of familiar faces who routinely say such profoundly upsetting things that the only way you can cope with it is by getting drunk. Let's play the Republican Presidential Debate Drinking Game!

Because this is a Republican debate, you are only allowed to drink patriotic drinks from companies with a proud, American tradition (and whose operations have long since been outsourced overseas). No wine, because wine is for baguette-munching sissies. Please play responsibly and know your limits. Also, don't get gay married during the game.

Here are the rules, or, as you may refer to them, "your base:"

Take a sip every time:

  • A candidate mentions Ronald Reagan
  • Michele Bachmann interrupts the moderator
  • Herman Cain laughs at one of his own jokes
  • Rick Perry says "jobs"
  • Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain agree
  • Mitt Romney has that, "How the fuck are these people close to me in the polls" look
  • Take a chug every time:

    • A candidate mentions a country other than America, Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan
    • A candidate says "Occupy Wall Street" in a sentence that doesn't contain the words, "nonsense," "hippie," "spoiled," "misguided," or "Soros-funded granola-fueled anything-goes sex caravan."

    Finish your drink every time:

    • Jon Huntsman says something sane and is booed off the stage
    • A candidate takes out a picture of Ronald Reagan from their wallet and kisses it
    • A candidate says "Obamacare" while making a masturbation gesture with his or her hand
    • Herman Cain makes a pass at moderator Scott Pelley
    • Newt Gingrich asks for twelve more minutes of time and is awarded it
    • Rick Santorum's phone goes off to reveal that his ringtone is Cher's "Believe"

    The Republican Presidential Debate at Wofford [Wofford.edu]

    [@nickgreene][ngreene@villagevoice.com]



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5 comments
The Best Drinking Games
The Best Drinking Games

Looking at these rules, you'd think the lack of focus on Ron Paul is actually a ploy to get the audience drunk!  Come to think of it, that might not be SO far from the truth...

Kojacque
Kojacque

Is Da GadFadda Candy Cain B all up N da poon Butts mo den da poons blowhole mouffs B all up N da GadFadda Candy Cains ace; O WUTT ???

Steve Depew
Steve Depew

You will die of alcohol poisoning in the first 4 minutes.,8-)

OccupierWannaBe
OccupierWannaBe

I don't think this is a laughing matter and I think your article is tasteless.  I am an alcoholic and I find it offensive with alcoholism, binge drinking, etc.. being such a huge problem, that you think it is funny to write an article like this.  I have lost all respect of the Voice.

I lost my 3 best friends over the weekend from alcohol poison.  Of course, they were playing the Obama drinking game - (take a drink every time he lies) while watching replays of his recent speeches.  I am sad to say, my friends were dead within the first hour of play.  Giggle.

Randall Halton
Randall Halton

As a Repubican I dont endorse any of them, and the impartation of the views of all of them is surly hazardious to Americas democratic system.

     First of all most dont understand the Constitution, Bill of Right or International Law.

     Secondly we as a population in modern times have educated and influanced the population with propaganda that isnt true and most often deceptive in results. The results have been most often a bad out come to the econimic balance sheet of the country.

    In actuality the real democratic system has been replaced by a associative and a  riddle and rhyme culture that sees a financial gain and proffesional advancement of themselves and there peers.

    As it dwindles down to the state and local level, impartation of positionary importance is the only factor the public needs to know, and that the funding is well spent. When ever someone stands up there are always more that turnaround and knock you down. Not a wise thing to do.

    If those doing the wall street obstruction think that it is productive and that they are entitled to the wealth of those that others have accumulated, they arent.

             

  

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