Rightbloggers Celebrate America's Great National Holiday: Black Friday

tomt200.jpgWe hope you had a nice Thanksgiving and if you went shopping the next day you weren't trampled. You may have heard that President Obama got some grief from conservatives for failing to mention God in his Thanksgiving proclamation. But for our rightblogger subjects, this was not the worst outrage of the long weekend.

No, what ticked the brethren off even more than Obama's blasphemy was that some folks, tied to the Occupy movement, protested that orgy of after-turkey shopping called Black Friday. The historic feast of the pilgrims is all very well, but large corporations were depending on America's support, and rightbloggers happily dropped that giving-of-thanks crap in order to give it to them.

"Occupy wall street wants you to damage the American economy by boycotting Black Friday," warned Bluegrass Pundit. "Way to punish the average '99%-er' worker and make his life harder on a holiday weekend," snarled Thoughts of a Conservative Mom. "Occupy, in some misguided attempt to do whatever the hell it is they think they're trying to do," rambled Roger's Park Bench, "wants to hurt the retail sales. Which means, by extension, that they are trying to harm the economic security of fellow Americans."

In a bit of PR genius, Tea Party group Liberate Philadelphia/Liberate America declared it would counter the Occupiers' Boycott with "BUYcott Black Friday." That way, if people shopped on Black Friday, their dozens of followers would be able to take credit. Instapundit's Glenn Reynolds referred to this as "Punching Back Twice as Hard"; fans of The Simpsons will recognize it as a new version of the Bear Patrol.

Kip Hooker of I Hate The Media seemed to recognize, if only dimly and momentarily, what nonsense this was: "In a sane era we would be tempted to suggest that people save their money and practice the sort of fiscal responsibility that will get this nation's economy back on track," he wrote.

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Heroes, all.
Hooker quickly recovered himself: "But this is not a sane time," he reasoned. "This is a time when the labor of we the producers is conscripted to buy the votes of the tax eaters... So go ahead and buy that xbox. Buy that iPad 2. Buy that 70 inch flat screen 3D TV. Because in a time as screwed up as this if you don't spend your money on yourself it is a pretty good bet that you'll be spending it on some greedy flea bagger and his hairy arm-pitted girlfriend." Forget frugality, patriots, and stick it to the hippies with a spending spree! You may wind up impoverished by it, but America will prosper -- bank on it, if you have enough money left to maintain a bank account.

"All the while, [the Occupiers] are Tweeting and blogging on their cell phones and laptops, all made by one corporation or another, but we'll not mention the hypocrisy of that," said LD Jackson, who apparently never saw a Tea Partier in a Medicare-funded scooter denouncing Big Government.

Jackson said he himself didn't like Black Friday, but felt it had to be respected because it's "a family tradition for some people." You're not against families, are you? Plus Black Friday is important because "consuming is what it's all about. If the citizens of America stop consuming goods and services, our economy is sure to collapse." It might seem a little late to worry about that, but Jackson is a born optimist, as shown by his close: "I suspect [the Occupiers] don't stand a chance of winning that argument and are likely to get ran over in the process."

Jackson wasn't the only one who dreamed of retaliation against the hippies. Running Against Obama hoped that "somebody takes the initiative one day to collect as many of the names they can find to make a list of the people who are orchestrating all of this destructive, counterproductive behavior," so he would be able to blacklist any such individual from employment at whatever bait shop or flat-fix he runs.

Running Against Obama also applauded BUYcott Black Friday for "encouraging consumers to spend as much as their pockets will allow. That sounds more like America."

Working from the popular rightwing portrayal of the Occupation as a criminal enterprise, some rightbloggers saw their resistance to Black Friday as an act of aggression against innocent capitalists.


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