Wells Fargo to Open Bank for Super Rich; Need to Take Finger Off Nation's Pulse First

Categories: $$$

Stand down, Zuccotti protesters, the banks have heard your calls for reform and are yielding to your demands. The majority of the country has been enveloped in financial turmoil, and one of the big banks is finally taking steps to institute change: Wells Fargo is creating a boutique bank for the super rich. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, the wealth management unit will be named "Abbot Downing" and will only service families with more than $50 million in their coffers. Rumor has it, when you open an account you get free Looney Tunes checks.

Wells Fargo is combining its existing boutique firm Lowry Hill with its Family Wealth department to create Abbot Downing, and it's slated to begin operations next April. The name Abbot Downing comes from a 19th century high-end stagecoach manufacturer, and it is appropriate considering America's wealth disparity is nearing 1830's levels.

The Sun-Times reports the firm will feature "a full range of services to cater to the super rich, complete with psychologists and staff to build family genealogies." For people who don't have $50 million, Wells Fargo offers other investment options that better suit their needs:


Bid now!

Super bank for super rich opens branch in Chicago [Sun-Times]


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WHITE MEN HAVE NO BUSINESS PATRONIZING WELLS FARGO.  They're actively harrassing and forcing out all the WHITE MEN.  Traci Smith - a mulatto and one of the vilest creatures satan ever reanimated - has taken it upon herself to route out all the WHITE MEN in the Sacramento area.  


Iris Gomez
Iris Gomez

I'd be scared to be as shallow and easily manipulated as most of the people commenting on this story. The author, I assume, is just punching a clock and will take the opposite viewpoint as soon as anyone pays him to do so.


Glad I divested of you while ago, Wells Fargo!  May you collapse under the weight of your own fraud!  Same to the rest of you, Big Banks!  We can do this, People.  Keep telling everyone to divest of these criminal elements in society!


You heard them, Wells Fargo Customers. They don't want you. Close your accounts Monday!


The accountants take care of all of that. The rich own little mountain retreats, like Montana, and can't be bothered with the details.

I can see this bank in receivership in six months.

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