Martin Bashir Compares Newt Gingrich to Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard, and more in our Thursday Stats Roundup!

It's that time of the week, when Scientology workers scramble to get their statistics turned in. And with the Thursday 2pm deadline looming, we like to do the same, rounding up the church's stats for the past week. First up, a little political humor...

Yesterday, Martin Bashir did a bit of editorializing on MSNBC, trying to find an historical antecedent for presidential candidate Newt Gingrich, who he apparently doesn't like very much. In fact, Bashir seems to feel that Gingrich is such a self-aggrandizing looney, he could only think of one other person in history who resembles Newt: Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

Hey, come to think of it, Martin may be on to something here.

During his "Clear the Air" segment to close his show yesterday, Bashir -- who knows a thing or two about Scientology -- made the comparison after describing Gingrich as "a perfect combination of religiosity and insanity" and a "peddler of myths and fantasies."

Ouch.

Thursday's Stats: Upstat or Downstat? The funny thing is, I'm not really sure who makes out worse, Newt or L. Ron. But one thing I do know: having MSNBC's audience puzzle over that question is a pretty big downstat in itself!


Story #2: Oh Ricky, You're So Fine

Ricky Gervais is writing and directing Life's Too Short, a mockumentary-style show currently airing in the UK about the life of Warwick Davis, who plays himself as a little person in show business. On a recent episode, Davis decides to check out whether Scientology has anything to offer him. We enjoyed the scene he plays with an actor portraying a Scientology official, who, the folks over at Operation Clambake point out, looks an awful lot like vanished church spokesman Tommy Davis.

Oh, the hilarity.

Gervais picked on religion in general with his 2009 movie The Invention of Lying, but he has singled out Scientology in the past for particular ridicule.

At the Golden Globes this year, he quipped, "Also not nominated was I Love You Phillip Morris, Jim Carrey, and Ewan McGregor. Two heterosexual characters pretending to be gay. So the complete opposite of some famous Scientologists, then."

Thursday's Stats: Upstat or Downstat? As we've pointed out in the past, comedians are in a unique position to reach many more people than news articles. We have a feeling Ricky isn't going to give up on this rich vein of comedy any time soon. A modest downstat now, with much more potential to come!


Story #3: TIME Cops Out Again

Rah rah! Occupy Wall Street is Person of the Year! And we suppose that also means that Anonymous gets to share in the glory (such as it is), even though the connection between the two is somewhat tenuous.

Actually, this has nothing to with Scientology and was included here only as a chance to poke fun at old, confused TIME for yet another cop-out Person of the Year. I'm surprised that this issue didn't come with a mirrored cover for all of you angry people out there to see yourselves in.

Thursday's Stats: Upstat or Downstat? This precious issue of the magazine has somehow managed to make protesters look so harmless and lovable, I'm going to have to award some upstat to the church simply on principle.


Story #4: David Miscavige, Linguist

Over at his blog, Marty Rathbun has been having fun with excerpts from the October IAS gala in the UK, which featured Scientology leader David Miscavige talking about church accomplishments for three hours straight.

Except, that is, when someone else was on stage to laud him.

Rathbun pulled out some nice excerpts in this video, showing Miscavige step up to translate praise for himself so that he appears to be talking about what a hell of a guy he is in the third person.

And here's what Rathbun didn't point out: unlike monolingual Americans, educated people from Colombia and Russia generally all speak English, and so these folks were no doubt more than able to translate their own praise for Miscavige, and didn't need the diminutive emcee to do it for them.

Well, that's Miscavige's idea of show business anyway.

Thursday's Stats: Upstat or Downstat? The big crowds and lavish sets and black tie are all intended to give Scientologists a certain impression of Miscavige's power, but for the rest of the world, the weirdness is almost too much. When these videos leak, even one like this which is one three-hour infomercial about how well the organization is supposedly doing, the disconnect from the real world is glaring. Another embarrassing downstat.

Well, things certainly seem to be winding down a bit with the holidays upon us. But don't fear. We have lots of good, special stuff in preparation for the last couple of weeks of the year, so make sure and check back with us between your shopping trips or treks to grandmother's house!

And in the meantime, don't forget to vote in our poll for Scientology Story of the Year.



Tony Ortega is the editor-in-chief of The Village Voice. Since 1995, he's been writing about Scientology at several publications.

tortega@villagevoice.com | @VoiceTonyO | Facebook: Tony Ortega

Keep up on all of our New York news coverage at this blog, Runnin' Scared


SCIENTOLOGY IN THE VILLAGE VOICE

[All recent stories] | [Top 25 People Crippling Scientology] | [Commenters of the Week] [Thursday 2pm Stats!] | [Scientology vs. South Park] | [This Week Aboard the Apollo]
[Sunday Funnies]

FEATURED INVESTIGATIONS

[Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis secretly recorded discussing "disconnection"]
[Benjamin Ring, LA deputy sheriff, wants you to spend your 401K on Scientology]
[Scientologists: How many of them are there, anyway?]
[Scientology hates clean ice: The "Fair Game" operation that should turn your stomach]
[Scientology hates clean ice, part 2: Another target, and the web as weapon]
[Paulette Cooper, Scientology's original and worst nightmare: a Thanksgiving tribute]

THE TOP 25 PEOPLE CRIPPLING SCIENTOLOGY

1. L. Ron Hubbard | 2. David Miscavige | 3. Marty Rathbun | 4. Tom Cruise | 5. Joe Childs and Tom Tobin | 6. Anonymous | 7. Mark Bunker | 8. Mike Rinder | 9. Jason Beghe | 10. Lisa McPherson | 11. Nick Xenophon | 12. Tommy Davis | 13. Janet Reitman | 14. Tory Christman | 15. Andreas Heldal-Lund | 16. Marc and Claire Headley | 17. Jefferson Hawkins | 18. Amy Scobee | 19. The Squirrel Busters | 20. Trey Parker and Matt Stone | 21. Kendrick Moxon | 22. Jamie DeWolf | 23. Ken Dandar | 24. Dave Touretzky | 25. Xenu

HELD ABOARD THE FREEWINDS: TALES OF THE SEA ORG

[Valeska Paris, held against her will from 1996 to 2007 on Scientology's cruise ship]
[Ramana Dienes-Browning, marriage at 16, sexual interrogation, life in the engine room]
[Melissa Paris, Valeska's sister: forced to marry at 16]

SCIENTOLOGY VS. SOUTH PARK: INVESTIGATION AS RETALIATION

[Scientology targeted South Park's Parker and Stone in an investigation]
[More documents in the South Park probe: instructions to send in a young mole]
[Scientology responds in typical fashion] | [Lloyd Kaufman confirms the probe]
[Mark Ebner also investigated after South Park involvement]
[Mark Chauppetta, private eye, explains what Scientology operatives look for]

MARTY RATHBUN AND THE SIEGE OF SOUTH TEXAS

[Scientology has Rathbun arrested] | [Rathbun and Mark Bunker reveal surprising ties]
In Germany with Ursula Caberta: [Announcing plans] | [Press conference] | [Making news about Tom Cruise, Bill Clinton, and Tony Blair] | [Post-trip interview]
The Squirrel Busters: [Goons with cameras on their heads] | [Rathbun's open letter to neighbors] | [Ingleside on the Bay, Texas rallies to Rathbun's cause] | [Squirrel Buster's claim to be making a "documentary"] | [VIDEO: "On a Boat"] | ["Anna" sent to creep out Monique Rathbun] | [Squirrel Busters go hillbilly] | [A videographer blows the whistle on the goon squad] | [Ed Bryan, OT VIII, shows the power of Scientology's highest levels]

SCIENTOLOGY SPYING AND "FAIR GAME"

[Secret Scientology documents spell out spying operation against Marc Headley]
[Scientology's West U.S. spies list revealed] | [Scientology's enemies list: Are you on it?]
Spy operation against Washington Post writer Richard Leiby: [Part 1] | [Part 2]
[A Scientology spy comes clean: Paulien Lombard's remarkable public confession]
[Scientology advertises for writers in Freedom magazine]
[Accidental leak shows Scientology spy wing plans to "handle" the Voice]
[Lori Hodgson and Disconnection: "No one's going to take my eternity away"]

SCIENTOLOGY AND CELEBRITIES

[Hey, Scientology Celebrity, Here's Your Media Training Checksheet!]
[Tom Cruise and X Factor's Stacy Francis singing together on the Freewinds]
[X Factor's Stacy Francis: Her first husband, Michael Sandlofer, answers abuse claims]
[Tom Cruise and Baby Suri embarrassed by news item, so someone must pay]
["Tom Cruise told me to talk to a bottle"] | [Tom Cruise likes coconut cake] | [Tom Cruise has a sense of humor] | ["Tom Cruise not a kook!"] | [Paulette Cooper on Tom Cruise]
[Paul Haggis, director of Crash, issues an ultimatum, leaves the church]
[Character actor Jason Beghe defects noisily] | [Actor Michael Fairman reveals his "suppressive person" declaration] | [Michael Fairman talks to the Voice]
[Giovanni Ribisi as David Koresh: Scientology-Branch Davidian link makes sense]
[Russell Brand weds ex-Scientologists in wild ceremony] | [Skip Press on Haggis]
[Placido Domingo Jr.: Scientology's retaliation is "scary and pathetic"]
Grant Cardone, NatGeo's "Turnaround King": [Doing Scientology's dirty work?] | [Milton Katselas complained about Cardone's smear job] | [Cardone runs to Huffpo]
[Philip Boyd, Saving Grace actor, rips "the business that is Scientology"]

JANET REITMAN'S INSIDE SCIENTOLOGY

[Our review of Inside Scientology] | [An interview with Janet Reitman] | [A report from Reitman's first book tour appearance] | [At the Half-King: Reitman not afraid]
[Scientology doesn't like Inside Scientology] | [Q&A at Washington Post]
[A roundup of Reitman's print reviews, and why isn't she on television more?]

HUGH URBAN'S THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY

[A review of Urban's scholarly history of the church] | [An interview with Hugh Urban]

EX-SCIENTOLOGISTS SPEAK OUT

["The Money Machine": another blockbuster St. Pete Times investigation]
[Marc Headley: "Tom Cruise told me to talk to a bottle"] | [The Nancy Many interview]
[Sympathy for the Devil: Tory Christman's Story] | [Jeff Hawkins' Counterfeit Dreams]
[86 Million Thin Dimes: The Lawrence Wollersheim Saga] | [Mike Rinder on spying]

OVERSEAS NEWS

[Scientology in Israel: Arson, attempted murder, paranoia -- and a visit by the Voice!]
[Scientology dodges a bullet in Australia] | [Scientology exec Jan Eastgate arrested]
[All hell breaks loose in Israel] | [Scientology sees fundraising gold in the UK riots]
[Aussie former rugby pro Chris Guider calls David Miscavige "toxic" and "violent"]
[Stephen Cox, UK church newbie, pledges 20K pounds] | [Biggi Reichert: A German Lisa McPherson?] | [The Birmingham trove: 7,000 internal e-mails]
[Australian farmer blamed for giving Tom Cruise a bad shrimp, loses her friends, family]

ODD VIDEOS AND ODDER NEWS

[Scientology chillin' with hip hop!] | [The curious career of Scientology rapper Chill EB]
[Chill EB and me: the Voice interviews Scientology's in-house rapper]
[Scientology singalong, "We Stand Tall"] | [Captain Bill Robertson and "Galactic Patrol"]
[Scientology wins a major award!] | [Scientology wants your money: Meet Dede!]
[Birmingham in the House! The "Ideal" dance mix] | [Scientology and the Nation of Islam]
[When Scientology was hip] | [Sad: David Miscavige makes fun of his own fundraisers]
[Freedom magazine parodies The New Yorker. Hilarity ensues.]
[Scientology surf report: Anonymous parties outside the New York "org"]

THE VIEW INSIDE THE BUBBLE

[A scientologist's letter to the Voice and its readers] | [Scientology silent birth]
[Tad Reeves: Scientology might listen to this guy] | [More Tad Reeves and family]
[Scientology never forgets: A heartwarming telemarketing holiday miracle]
[Desperate Scientology fundraising caught on video]

My Voice Nation Help
84 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
APIMM
APIMM

Ouch, very Ouch baby!

ChaosConsumer
ChaosConsumer

That miscav video feels like a Downfall meme waiting to happen!

PosterChild
PosterChild

I hope Newt gets the nomination.  Then it will be open season on comparing him to LRH.  That would be fantastic.

Peter
Peter

Generally educated people don't get into Scientology.

"Comedians are in a unique position to reach more people than news articles" - but this weekly edition comes off as a mock-piece against the toils of the brainwashed sheep. The actual evil-doers have their feet kicked up, sipping martinis. Thanks for giving them a laugh.

MarkStark
MarkStark

Do you think of yourself as having a sense of humor? Do you ever laugh about anything to do with Sciloontology?

Single posts, and the comments under them never serve as a complete story. They can only act as a catalyst, something to spur interest, so that people look further.

I bet there were a few people who got their first laugh at the Gervais show skit on Sciloontology, the weirdness of it, because they wanted to see Ramin Karimloo (a musical theater star in London) doing a comedy bit. He plays the Tommy Davis role. The greater the variety, the wider the reach.

Peter
Peter

I would, perhaps, laugh more heartily if I hadn't experienced it myself.

Remember, you are protesting something because it is BAD(hurts people) -- so expect some people to be hurt! Don't shun me again, and kick me while I'm down.

Just call me Debbie Downer. That's funnier.

Peter
Peter

Whatever outside perspective you have, people from the trenches have first hand information and experience.

When the troops come home from Iraq, I'd rather hear from them than some talking head.

"Compassion" would indicate that.

Your "debate" style is unengaging, except in an annoying way.

I will continue to speak my mind, now that I am not under a totalitarian regime that controls what I think about it.

Jesus was a faggot, btw.

MarkStark
MarkStark

Whether you saw it or not in your own experience, there is A LOT that is odd and funny about Sciloontology.

It's not the level of tragedy that attracts me to criticize Sciloontology. It's the disparity between the level of sheer lunacy, in comparison to the large amounts of money extracted and especially the degree of control and manipulation through lies.

Again I will mention the main principles of Christianity: love, forgiveness, redemption. Understandable how that appeals to people, right? Sciloontology's principles are: survival, self-improvement,  success, selling it, learning to lie and keeping it secret.

"Read a book." Guard the precious con game.

OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8!

We in RTC wish to counter the lies of the psych-porn peddler Tony Ortega. Our stats are once again in POWER for the 792,986,195,682nd week in a row. Here are the real stats:

1. Number of Third World military officers awarded Scientology medals is up 10,000%.

2. 67.5%: Percentage of how much larger Scientology medals are than Third World military medals.

3. 89%: Percentage of how much more Scientology medals weigh than Third World military medals.

4. Number of New OTIII's made is up .0582% over last year.

5. Saving humanity is up 822% this week as measured by the 79.1 miles of Scientology books distributed.

5. 6,798,994 new people had  a Scientology book mailed to their homes on an unsolicited and unwanted basis by BPI. Statiscally, 1% of them will respond and call Scientology for help. After we reject the 99% as illegal pc's for being rabid homosexuals and/or using psych drugs, we will gain five new Scientologists on the Basics.  

6. Number of Sea Org members who blew is down 12% over last week.

7. New COB videos showing Old Testament style death and retribution against Psychs is up 50%

8. 5.2% increase in COB height acheived with new generation elevator shoes developed by Golden Era shoe lift engineers using space age polymers and elastomers.

9. 119% improvement in excessive benefits given to Tom Cruise. COB thoughtfully sent him a very rare diamond-encrusted Fabrege egg this week as a pre-Christmas gift.

TheGuestt
TheGuestt

And don't forget the # of years Super Power Mecca has Not opened is straight up and vertical!  It must be in Power condition now, right? 

ChaosConsumer
ChaosConsumer

You laugh now, but when rich idiots become crime fighting superheroes you'll be sorry! Seriously, if anyone knows angry gay pope, get him to demand they fight crime as soon as they come out of Scientology junior space camp. "So you had a sauna and went on the merry-go-round and ate astronaut ice-cream? Great! There's an armed robbery three blocks down, go get em champ!!"

Sid
Sid

Come on Ricky - you can do better than that, the guy playing Tommy Davis sounded normal and rational.

Jgg
Jgg

  Hate?  No, it reminds me of Clubber Lang in Rocky 3, when asked if he hated Rocky Balboa:"I don't hate him, I pity the fool."

SP 'Onage
SP 'Onage

I love Martin “Ambush” Bashir.

I laughed so hard when Martin Bashir was grilling Scientology spokesthing Tommy Davis regarding Xenu, the intergalactic god who came to Earth 75 million years ago to bury his people in volcanos. Bashir asks Davis a very simple question: Do you guys believe in this crazy shit? Is Xenu and his people-pod volcano plot part of your religion?

Watching Tommy Davis freak out and stomp off was priceless.

And who could forget Dr. Evil Miscaviage and his dog Mr Beaglesworth.

One female ex-staff member recalled that if Miscavige’s dog growled or barked at you then he’d accuse you some sort of wrongdoing. Another ex-member stated that staff members had to literally salute Miscavige’s dog when in its presence. Salute the dog? The dog apparently does have four stripes another ex-member added....lawlz

Radio Paul
Radio Paul

Martin Bashir is a hate monger! Just like Anderson Cooper, Mark Bunker, Paulette Cooper, Nathan Baca, Dian Sawyer, Janet Reitman, Richard Behar, Trey Parker/Matt Stone, Wolf Blitzer, Lawrence Wright, the people at Inside Edition, ABC Lateline, ABC, NBC, CNN, CBS, and every major newspaper! In case I forgot anyone, just know they are all bigots unless they tell you how Scientology is saving the planet.

SP 'Onage
SP 'Onage

Lolz Radio Paul, at first I thought OSA hijacked your name because you hated everyone...wtf... until the end of your post. lol

Barbara Snow
Barbara Snow

Well why don't you tell us... just how is Scientology saving the planet? 

Radio Paul
Radio Paul

They are saving it by blowing one 10 at a time.

Radio Paul
Radio Paul

They are saving it by blowing 10 at a time.

Jgg
Jgg

  Tony, I have to disagree.  At this point, each week Scientology is still alive and auditing is an upstat for the Church (albeit a temporary one), much like a stay of execution for a condemned killer.

PattyMoher
PattyMoher

I love me some Martin Bashir!  Intelligent and good looking nerd.  Nice!

MarkStark
MarkStark

L. Ron Hubbard was fluent in over 17 languages, on Venus. This is factual. It appears little Davy is a chip off the old block.

With this presentation of little Davy's linguistic genius, Sciloontology super powerz haven't been so convincing since L. Ron  presented the first and last demonstration of a "clear."

In English, little Davy is speechwriter-bound and teleprompter-bound. Although he appears bright in the Koppel interview, he rehearsed for months, and just spat out answers he rehearsed. He's afraid of the SP Times reporters and TV too.

Although Davy's ability to understand any Spanish at all is still in question, one thing this video demonstrates is how TINY he is.  Davulliver's travels. Hispanic guy is a Brobdingnagian over Davy. If he wants to demonstrate his powerz, Davy should pick that dude up and hold him over his head.

ChaosConsumer
ChaosConsumer

Some day he'll do the same with a genuine black man from that hip hop place all the kids are bopping to. "What my cool ghetto friend was trying to say was..."

TheGuestt
TheGuestt

Hispanic guy is Colonel Ricardo Prado (Rodriguez?), of Columbia Military Police, over the Juvenile Division.  Miscavige has for several years been grooming army and police in Columbia, South America,  a divine neighborhood for certain types of leaders.

I can't zoom in with clarity to see what all that ribbon decor represents.  Not even the Generals in Columbia have been seen sporting that much Rah Rah.  Prado's even done a course on the Freewinds.  Hey, let's face it; what do drug lords and victims' gizzards and livers need more than toxic Niacin from scientology Purification programs.  Oh wait.  Way to Happiness booklets.  That'll fix it!  It's worked so well in Russia, Middle East, and Inglewood, California.

The video I'd Pay to see is the one where the military/police groups break down in hysterical laughter, tossing their WTH booklets out the window, the moment Miscavige leaves the bunker.  Still, looks like a cozy retirement paradise to some people.

Ron
Ron

Psst! It's Colombia, not Columbia. You've probably been reading too many of those phoney commendation letters to Scientologists, supposedly from Col. Prado, with the same spelling mistake. (Most literate adults can usually spell their own country's name, so I call shenanigans.)

MarkStark
MarkStark

Thanks, I was just about to try to find who he is. I knew it wasn't a Sea Org getup. The cult has claimed that their Way to Happiness pamphlet distribution program has reduced crime in Colombia by 50%, just like it brought the Berlin wall down and ended WWII.

He's with the Juvenile Division? Makes sense. Show the kids the way to happiness, before they join a gang or drug cartel. Any alliance between Sciloontology and military/police training makes me queasy.

I shudder to think what would happen in Latin America if they erect a statue of L. Ron somewhere and it starts smoking. They are very big on the whole weeping/bleeding statue thing. The Blessed Virgin weeps, Jesus bleeds, and L. Ron would of course, smoke.

It would be like a Sciloontology stigmata where everyone who gazes upon the smoking L. Ron statue would have to have a cigarette, and be healed of cancer or never get it in the future.

TheGuestt
TheGuestt

Oh my, that is so wrong (buying basics set and giving to police).  Do they know what they are doing any more at all?!  Way to Happiness is lame, but hey, nothing wrong with instructed people:  don't murder, that's bad.  But the crazy lies within those sets of books.  And giving someone a single book, for free, why, that was suppressive.  I see this ending as well as the Middle East scenario and Nation of Islam Farrakhan networking.  lol

MarkStark
MarkStark

I just read it. Thanks. They offered the Freewinds to the local police of Cartagena, Colombia for their policeman's fundraiser, and they do that in other port cities. <groan>  It said they like TWTHappiness and then wonder if Hubbard wrote anything else to read. LOL Did he ever!

Some OTVIII "completion" generously bought a set of The Basics for one cop. They are creating happiness and generating money for cops everywhere they go! They should rename the bloody thing to THE WAY TO COP HAPPINESS.</groan>

MarkStark
MarkStark

Here's my scenario for Col. Ricky and Scilon "penetration" into Colombia. Some high ranking Colombian official (man, woman, chupacabra) has the hots for Tom Cruise. This person asked Col. Ricky to perform this ambassador/liaison function, and the cult dumps some money on them too, or at least the training is free. It is U.S.-Colombian cultural relations.

TheGuestt
TheGuestt

Freewind's magazine 87, December 2011    Put it in quotes and google it.

Several pages about what courses, what donations, involving police and military activity in scientology and Freewinds in particular.  And yes, I did see a mention about scientology fundraising $$ for police benefit.That Is Friggin' unbelievable.  Is that a first?  scientology parts with a dollar bill as easily as a dog with a bone.  Of course they claimed it was higher Evah! police ever got.

In mag, scientology claims local police top guy Orders his officers to do Freewinds stuff, or courses.  Interesting even more.

And no more typo, it's just like my coffee, Colombian.

MarkStark
MarkStark

Corruption in Colombia is a big problem, at all levels of government, military and police. I'm more familiar with the situation in Mexico, where the 2nd most powerful drug cartel, Las Zetas, is run by former government special forces, as well as former state and local police! They know both sides of the drug world.

Police earn such low salaries, that it not only irresistible to ally with gangs or a cartel for financial reasons, but it becomes much safer to do so. In some areas, being an honest policeman would be a death sentence.

So, Col. Ricky's alliance with Sciloontology would be a safe pay-off for him to take. It's not even corruption compared to what thousands of police already do. Although the cult claims they were training the military police, I'm not sure a course was specified. Probably the communications course, and it was probably a trial program for a small number of people, just so the cult can use it as PR.

The drug cartels don't care about "just say no" drug education or even probably rehab programs. The latter is almost a reciprocal arrangement. It'd be different if David Miscavige announced a program to destroy the evil drug cartels, as if they were as evil as the psychs.

Then again, maybe Col. Ricky is a straight cop who along with being frustrated there are no answers to crime, was attracted by Sciloontology's promises of a crime-free, drug-free world. I probably should watch the entire 3 hours, and see what he said they are doing.

Sometimes it is hard to distinguish what they are really doing, from what they say they are doing. For example, the cult showed a street in Colombia jammed with people in one video, with a small group on the side clamoring for THE WAY TO HAPPINESS pamphlets. It looked like it was a crowd at some other kind of rally.  Or the "battle of the librarians." They make up a lot of shit.

I'd be interested to know the details of Sciloontology's program in Colombia. Did they drop thousands of dollars into the policeman's benefit fund, and teach the courses for free, so as to ingratiate themselves? Are they going after the rich Colombians? What are they doing there? Is Colombia going to be the first Sciloontology-run country?

Col. Ricky uses this LRH quote in his letters, about TWTHappiness pamphlets being like an oil spill:

"All you have to do is keep the booklet flowing in the society. Like gentle oil spread upon the raging sea, the calm will flow outward and outward."

What is it with Hubbard and petroleum products?

Keep the pamphlets blowing in the streets, filling up garbage cans and littering byways and highways.

MarkStark
MarkStark

Ohhhh yes! If a child is old enough to light a match, he's old enough to start smoking. Whether it's for cancer prevention or running radiation out of the body, not smoking enough would be like trying to put out a flaming baby with a bucket of gasoline.

As soon as a child is weaned from barley water, he should be put on cigarettes and amphetamines, before it's too late.

SP 'Onage
SP 'Onage

Markstark, I found him under the name Lieutenant Colonel Ricardo Antonio Prado Ramirez.

I guess this is his proper name/title:

Teniente Coronel Ricardo Antonio Prado Ramírez.

I wouldn't doubt he's corrupt as hell.

Scientia
Scientia

Lol!! Mark, if you don't already, you should seriously do stand-up. Commentator of the Year, without a doubt. :)

John P.
John P.

I laughed out loud at the comparison between Newt and L Ron Hubbard.  It was a lightning bolt of clarity for me: I had been grasping for a vivid image to encapsulate the Gingrich brand of crazy that makes him such a dangerous self-propelled train wreck.  This fits perfectly!  

Both are egotistical windbags, both are inconsistent in their ideas as well as being complete hypocrites in how they live lives.  They love to whitewash (or completely fabricate) their own history and their importance in affairs. Both are comically, stumblingly venal.  Both need(ed) legions of sycophants around them who proclaim their brilliance in many fields of human affairs (in particular, Gingrich practically demands that everyone refer to him as the "idea guy" for the GOP, though the rest of the candidate pool is so dismal that he unfortunately almost earns that accolade).  And both are so shallow that their self-created legends don't hold up under even the most cursory scrutiny.  Perfect!  

Jgg
Jgg

  Remember Lloyd Bentsen's comment in 1988 to Dan Quayle  ("I knew Jack Kennedy, I served with Jack Kennedy, Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine...Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy")?  This is like that in reverse, and it is better than those trite Hitler comparisons.

  Imagine an indie running for office--"I knew LRH...and you are as bad as LRH".  Plus, it forces Newt to attack LRH ("he did this horrible thing, I never did").  Note that he didn't attack ALL Republicans, just the least credible one in the field (the one that accepts 6-figure payments from Freddy Mae and says it was "for historical research").  Perfect.

TheGuestt
TheGuestt

Brilliant.  Bashir should now quote you, although I stumbled all over "stumblingly".

I almost dropped my Christmas cookie dough when I heard Bashir last night end off with the Hubbard comparison.  It just made me downright merry.

Peddler?  check   Myths?  check  Fantasies?  double triple dog dare check

GladysKravitz
GladysKravitz

Isn't it about time for Martin Bashir to do a report on Anonymous and/or how much money Scientology drains from its members?

JustCallMeMary
JustCallMeMary

Re: Martin Bashir statement: I though it was a great analogy! Even Republicans with any memory of Newt's hypocritical past would agree!

robinlandseadel
robinlandseadel

Martin Bashir I love you!

What a delicious, insidious meme—a two for one throw-down.

As LBJ once said—"Let's watch 'em try to Deny it."

MarkStark
MarkStark

Thanks in part to Tom Cruise, it really is entering the language:

Cruise = crazyHubbard = huckster$cientology = insanity

One day, any nutty blowhard may be known as an "L. Ron Hubbard." Hubbard will have smashed his name in history after all.

anon anon song
anon anon song

Just a minor observation, in the IAS video, notice how faaaaaaaaaaar away DM stands from the tall third speaker and only reaches forward (without actually walking up to him) to shake his hand.

Must obfuscate such a height delta, it's been a rough enough year.

skippress
skippress

Martin Bashir is like Barack Obama. Impressive voice but nothing else. It's a stupid comparison.

ChaosConsumer
ChaosConsumer

Personally I despise him and his whole style. But anyone that can make Tommy duck and squirm about intergalactic space lords to a wide audience of millions of people deserves at least a small clap.

barbara graham
barbara graham

You're right, Skip. Comparing Bashir to Obama IS stupid.

skippress
skippress

Democrats are the most hate-filled people I know, worse than $cientologists. You just proved it. I'm not a big Gingrich fan, but he's done some good, which Hubbard never did. Dig up another "snappy" comeback and demonstrate your hatred further.

bobx
bobx

If you're not a fan of Gingrich, and don't actually know much about him, then what exactly are you upset about?  Why do you think the comparison was even inaccurate, let alone "hateful"?  I found it apt and amusing.  As for your projections about how everyone around you, but not you yourself of course, are all full of "hate" and "stupidity", that I do find sad.  No, I am not "anonymous" (my name is Robert Eckert, if it matters to you, and a picture as well as that name appears on several of my posts), nor a "knucklehead" (quite well educated), nor a "puppy" (mid-fifties, rather a time of life when it is flattering to be mistaken for young), nor "expressing hatred" (I am in quite a cheery mood, as I have been in all my prior posts).  Clearly Scientology damaged you far more than you can recognize, and I wish I knew how to help you, but that is not within my expertise.

skippress
skippress

And a political hater you remain. I've stated repeatedly that I'm not particularly a fan of Gingrich, but it doesn't matter. As long as knuckleheads like you have an outlet to anonymously express your political hatred you'll take it. Done with you now, puppy. Try and have a nice life.

bobx
bobx

Yes, of course it was about Gingrich, the ones whose remarks about how poor kids won't know anything about anything except drug-dealing unless we make them clean bathrooms was all over the news, and is hardly the only example of well-covered bizarre pontifications from him.  It hardly requires "detective" work to stay mildly well-informed about a campaign that gets almost non-stop media coverage.  Of course it was political commentary, who was thinking it was anything else?  But why are you objecting to political commentary when you don't follow the story?

MarkStark
MarkStark

I didn't want to be left out of Skippy's "hater" thread, but don't want to add to his repurbulation. I think it's a privilege to call yourself a hater...being a hater you look at someone and know absolutely that you can hate them.

skippress
skippress

Bashir's comment was about GINGRICH, poltroon. I'm not a detective to look up your details and couldn't care less. If you're feeling under-appreciated, see your shrink, maybe your meds can get increased. The lengths you "liberal" haters will go to over politics, and then try to act like it's anything but, are astonishing, but typical.

bobx
bobx

My real name and picture come up if I'm using the computer where I first logged on here through Facebook, or the nickname I've been using everywhere on the net and since before the net existed, since high school, if I'm on the computer where I logged on through Yahoo. Anybody can know who I am.  I had difficulty figuring out what your "specific arguments" because you spend most of your time spewing that everybody else is a hater and stupid and mentally imbalanced and blah-blah-blah in the most thoroughly Scientologicy-styled rant.  You don't think Bashir's comparison was good?  I disagree:  that bit about how poor children never see their parents work, or anybody else, and need to scrub toilets at sub-minimum wage so they get the concept had a truly Hubbardesque detachment from reality and reflexive cruelty.

MissCabbage
MissCabbage

I would take the advice from so many here and post on FoxNews.  You will certainly have a MUCH larger audience than Bashir or for that matter, ANYONE on MSNBC!

Marc Abian
Marc Abian

Mostly the politicians that I've seen supporting Scientology are doing so because of money - exhibit A being Jeff Stone of the Riverside BOS who has received substantial contributions from Church members.  Ostensibly the Church also heavily lobbied the Justice Dept. (and spent big on the effort) to quash the FBI investigation.

I suppose there may be some "innocent" dupes, but mostly these days it's going to money that's going to help them turn a blind eye to all of the negative press the cult receives.  Call me cynical.

skippress
skippress

I'd suggest growing a spine and using a real name. Maybe one of the docs can help with that, and your communication.

Skwerl King
Skwerl King

I'll take note of that. After all the evil I do -- training of medical doctors (including psychs) and evaluating biomedical research for funding -- it might be time to do some good in this world. Perchance I will teach a Dale Carnegie class. Know anyone that could use some interpersonal communication skills?

anon anon song
anon anon song

No answer since about quittin' time. Little peon currently riding public transport latching tonight's delirium on some POA that was *thisclose*, but will never have.

Clarkle
Clarkle

You are so cool,  I'm jealous.  Now go post on Fox, tea-tard.

skippress
skippress

Let's review. I post specific arguments under my real name.

You haters post under pseudonyms, because you're cowards.

How convenient for you.

How pathetic you are, and demonstrably mentally imbalanced. You fuel the $cientology argument of being anti-social, etc. with your every attack on me, simply over politics, even though I'm not defending Gingrich, simply stating that Bashir's comparison was foolish, and that Bashir does this type of political attack regularly.

Must suck to be you people.

Clarkle
Clarkle

Go post on Fox teatard.  

Sid
Sid

Yes I know, I'm a hater.

(Just thought I'd save you the trouble)

Clarkle
Clarkle

Go post this crap on fox news, nobody cares about you political beliefs.

Sid
Sid

Barbara says "Comparing Bashir to Obama IS stupid" and you call her a hater.

Bob points out how silly you sound, and you call him stupid and emotional.

I guess that makes you a hater. I hope you follow my logic.

anon anon song
anon anon song

You have in your apartment thousands of notebooks filled with tiny and tightly scribbled streams of consciousness, don't you?

skippress
skippress

Just shows how stupid and emotional you are. I am definitely NOT a Gingrich supporter. I am a supporter of attacking the evils of $cientology. Bashir didn't do that, he just did some conservative-bashing, which he loves to do.

Hope you do better with following logic in the future.

bobx
bobx

Are you self-aware enough to see how thoroughly Scientological habits of mind still permeate your responses?  Over-the-top spewing about how [whoever you're talking to] is just a hater and must be speaking out of evil motives or stupidity?  At first I didn't realize you were a Gingrich supporter angered by the comparison; I thought you were a Miglioid trying to defend Scientology in some obscure manner whose logic I could not follow.

skippress
skippress

Not the politicians I know, and I know people on both sides. I try to meet people in person and often I succeed. I know and like Democrats who've done good things like bringing jobs to their state, Republicans who stand up against truly crazy people who have no substantative argument (like here, not you), Republicans I can't trust, Democrats who will rip your heart out with a smile on their face. All over the board. Your statement that EVERY politician is purchasable is simply not correct in my experience in the MAJORITY. It's obvious, however, that it's often true in Congress, on both sides. I've been inside $cientology most of my adult life, both pro (fooled like so many) and con (actively speaking out when many were afraid to). I've seen Martin Bashir say many stupid things on his show - to the point where I couldn't watch him any more. His comparison of Gingrich to Hubbard just shows his political prejudice and propaganda. Bashir doesn't give a green crap about $cientology in my estimate.

Marcabian
Marcabian

Skip, I couldn't disagree with you more: the only thing that will put ANY politician on Scientology's side is MONEY. And I'm not even against that per se (even though it's pretty disgusting to watch when it happens), because it means less money being spent to harass critics and recruit new members.

I see a big deal being made out of something that really isn't.

skippress
skippress

You generate enough hate on your own without my pointing you toward soulmates.

hgc
hgc

Yes! Oh, the delicious Hate. I can't get enough of it. It's the wind beneath my wings, the straw that stirs the drink, the rocket fuel for my DC-8. Tell us more about those hatin' Democrats in Hollywood you know so well. 

skippress
skippress

Spend some time attacking $cientology - you might do some good in the world, for once.

Skwerl King
Skwerl King

Wow. I am a snarky, ballistic moron to boot! I don't know if I can handle all these truths today. It's like looking into a mirror expecting to see Tony Horton and instead seeing a pasty bald overweight white man. I owe you my deepest thanks for these revelations. If only there was some sort of self-improvement program out there? One that would help me gain more control over my thoughts and reactions...maybe with some sort of primitive biofeedback device... Then maybe I could learn to think correctly and attribute it to my becoming more "effective" in some unmeasured generic way.

hgc
hgc

Oh noooes! A groundswell of GOP/Scieno alliances, just because of Bashir. I can see it now:  Republican National Convention keynote speaker -- David Miscavage.

Get a grip. 

skippress
skippress

What's the effect of Bashir doing that? It will put Republicans on $cientology's side. I've seen that happen. It will give Greta van Sustern fuel to say, see, $cientology isn't so bad, look who's knocking it. It completely distracts from the evils done and being done by $cientology and gets the discussion move to politics. Obama is a socialist. His administration is filled with them. Just plain facts. Bush started a stupid war. His administration was filled with people who wanted it. Just plain facts. So what does any of this have to do with $cientology's soul-crushing activities? NOTHING - until people like Bashir get more crap started.

Marc Abian
Marc Abian

I'm inclined to side with Barb on this one, Skip. Granted, Bashir's comparison was silly at best, but aren't you guilty of the same sort of invidious comparison in likening him to Obama?

I would agree that Bashir's comment tends to trivialize the solid reporting he's done on Scientology, and I do tend to squirm a bit when reporters brashly editorialize. But I did get a laugh from the apparent diss to the old man. I see it as an "in-joke" for us Scientology watchers.

skippress
skippress

I know a lot of Democrats, particularly in Hollywood, full of hate. I know some crazy Republicans, too. You morons need to get a life. I said something about your socialist hero Obama and you go ballistic and snarky - just sooooo typical.

Skwerl King
Skwerl King

Wow. I've been a democrat all my life and I am hate filled? Thank you for enlightening me. 

Ted
Ted

Shhhhh, relax, skippy, have some coffee. It's all right. Everybody is hate-filled. It's all right, buddy.

Yeppir
Yeppir

I'm not sure how barbara graham's statement "You're right, Skip. Comparing Bashir to Obama IS stupid" somehow proves your fallacious statement that "Democrats are the most hate-filled people I know." 

But I'm sure that now makes ME hate-filled, too, seeing as how I don't agree with you.

Now Trending

New York Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...