Quiz: Are You a Soldier in the War on Christmas?

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If you are reading this, it means you have withstood the first assault of the War on Christmas. We have taken the words of various talk show hosts and politicians to heart and are currently in our Christmas bunker, waiting for the unrelenting attacks from the sinister pleasantry, "Happy Holidays" to end. Unlike most wars, the War on Christmas is so subtle, people may be participating in it without even being aware. That's why we've made the following quiz, which will help you determine whether or not you are currently fighting in what was Christopher Hitchens' second-favorite war.

Please answer honestly, the future of Christmas is at stake:

Two weeks before Christmas Day you:
a) Bought a Christmas tree
b) Watched Miracle on 34th Street to get in the mood
c) Made a wish list
d) Defecated on a mall Santa's lap

Complete the following sentence: "Merry..."
a) "...Christmas"
b) "...is the day Christ was born"
c) "...merry, hallelujah"
d) "...same-sex marriage"

For your child's Christmas production at his or her school, you:
a) Sat front row
b) Assisted with set design and make-up
c) Videotaped it for posterity
d) Petitioned to have it replaced with that play where all the men dress like women. You know the one.

This afternoon, you plan to:
a) Go to afternoon Mass
b) Open presents
c) Volunteer at a homeless shelter
d) Take your children to see The Muppets and teach them how to be communists

Christmas is about:
a) Jesus' birth
b) Faith and love
c) Sharing the spirit with others
d) One year away from being completely eradicated, if everything goes to plan

Time to tally your points: "A" answers= 0 points, "B"= 5 points, "C"= 3 points, and "D"= 7 points.

If your total score is more than 15, that means nothing because the War on Christmas is a very silly thing, isn't it? Go back to enjoying the day, everyone, no ideological warfare to see here.

[@nickgreene][ngreene@villagevoice.com]

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1 comments
truth101
truth101

Come on Nick, why the sam hell would you even put this kind of hog-wash on? The real title should be "Are You a Foul to Fall for Such a Line of Crap!" Any one with a tad-bit of intellectual self respectability knows that JESUS was born when the sheep-herders were in the fields tending or watching over the lambs, so to protect them from the lions, and wolfs. And in the HOLY LAND taht is not December 25th or for that matter December. It is in April or May. So thats when my tree goes up. But then it has been up for the last 7 year straight not thakin down once! Which makes for great confusion on the part of the mindless and easiestly duped by the lie of lies! The othere thing that gives me a real hearty laugh-away is that America is aprofessed Chrisian country, but yet it celebrates one of the most Satanic Holiday October 31st the most Satanic Occult day of yhe year, it is a day or night when more humanbeings and animals are ritualistically-murdered in the name of the fallen archangel Lucifer! What is it about man that he wishes to believe in lies and outbright falshoods. Than to ask our loving HOLY FATHER OF ALL CREATION TO HAVE THE HLOY SPIRITE TO OPEN OUR EYES TO THE UNVAIN TRUTH OF THIS WORLD? The true titile should be, "The Real Truth of the Joyous Birth of our Brother The Lord Christ Jesus!" Speak a lie unto a man and he will believe it all so well. But dare tell a man the God's truth and he will despise the air that our Holy Father give you to breath! that is why WE THE AMERICAN PEOPLEĀ  DESERVE THE ILEING CORUPT GOVERNMENT THAT WE HAVE. tHEY ARE THE PAID AND BOUGHT FOUL DOGS OF HELL. The repulsive whores of theĀ  1%ters! The political-partys see us not as the CHILDREN OF GOD. tHEY ONLY SEE US AS STATICS? Maybe nent year we will not be so sheepish in our actions .That is if we are still here.WHY CAN WE NOT SHOW LOVE AND COMPASSION THROUGH OUT THE WHOLE YEAR TO ONE ANOTHER. MORE SO TO THE LEST OF OUR LORD'S BROTHERN! POTERE "DIO" ESSERE PRESSO LEI DI AMORE! AMEN.

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