Scientology Sunday Funnies: In the Sea Org at 18 and on Top of the World!

DennyChang.JPG
Scientology doesn't really have a Sunday service. They like to say that they do, because they crave mainstream acceptance. But unless Xenu rested after six days and L. Ron Hubbard just forgot to mention it, there's no reason for Scientologists to treat Sunday any differently than every other day of coursework, detoxes, fundraising, and generally clearing the planet.

So here at the Voice, we've come up with a Scientology Sunday tradition of our own, and we call it Sunday Funnies! Our sources regularly send us Scientology's wacky and tacky fundraising mailers, and each week we choose three of them to gaze upon, hoping that it inspires you to wax eloquent in our comments section. So here we go...

We have a youth theme this week. First up, a come-on for the Commodore's Messenger Service, which started out in the late 1960s with the teenagers L. Ron Hubbard had running around the ship Apollo doing his errands. On Scientology's current cruise ship, the Freewinds, young CMOs enjoy authority beyond their years, as we learned in the story of Ramana Dienes-Browning recently.

CMOAd.jpg


Speaking of youth, here's a way to ensure your eternity while you're still in short pants...

IASLifetime.jpg

And maybe the most disturbing and heartbreaking mailer we've received this year, we couldn't help thinking of Ramana Dienes-Browning and the Paris sisters -- Valeska and Melissa -- while reading about Denny Chang, who is already an experienced Sea Org veteran at only 18 years of age...

SeaOrgDennyChang.jpg

Have to say, that one shook us up here at the underground bunker. We look forward to your response -- and feel free to bring up anything at all.



Tony Ortega is the editor-in-chief of The Village Voice. Since 1995, he's been writing about Scientology at several publications.

tortega@villagevoice.com | @VoiceTonyO | Facebook: Tony Ortega

Keep up on all of our New York news coverage at this blog, Runnin' Scared


SCIENTOLOGY IN THE VILLAGE VOICE

[All recent stories] | [Top 25 People Crippling Scientology] | [Commenters of the Week] [Thursday 2pm Stats!] | [Scientology vs. South Park] | [This Week Aboard the Apollo]
[Sunday Funnies]

FEATURED INVESTIGATIONS

[Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis secretly recorded discussing "disconnection"]
[Benjamin Ring, LA deputy sheriff, wants you to spend your 401K on Scientology]
[Scientologists: How many of them are there, anyway?]
[Scientology hates clean ice: The "Fair Game" operation that should turn your stomach]
[Scientology hates clean ice, part 2: Another target, and the web as weapon]
[Paulette Cooper, Scientology's original and worst nightmare: a Thanksgiving tribute]

THE TOP 25 PEOPLE CRIPPLING SCIENTOLOGY

1. L. Ron Hubbard | 2. David Miscavige | 3. Marty Rathbun | 4. Tom Cruise | 5. Joe Childs and Tom Tobin | 6. Anonymous | 7. Mark Bunker | 8. Mike Rinder | 9. Jason Beghe | 10. Lisa McPherson | 11. Nick Xenophon | 12. Tommy Davis | 13. Janet Reitman | 14. Tory Christman | 15. Andreas Heldal-Lund | 16. Marc and Claire Headley | 17. Jefferson Hawkins | 18. Amy Scobee | 19. The Squirrel Busters | 20. Trey Parker and Matt Stone | 21. Kendrick Moxon | 22. Jamie DeWolf | 23. Ken Dandar | 24. Dave Touretzky | 25. Xenu

HELD ABOARD THE FREEWINDS: TALES OF THE SEA ORG

[Valeska Paris, held against her will from 1996 to 2007 on Scientology's cruise ship]
[Ramana Dienes-Browning, marriage at 16, sexual interrogation, life in the engine room]
[Melissa Paris, Valeska's sister: forced to marry at 16]

SCIENTOLOGY VS. SOUTH PARK: INVESTIGATION AS RETALIATION

[Scientology targeted South Park's Parker and Stone in an investigation]
[More documents in the South Park probe: instructions to send in a young mole]
[Scientology responds in typical fashion] | [Lloyd Kaufman confirms the probe]
[Mark Ebner also investigated after South Park involvement]
[Mark Chauppetta, private eye, explains what Scientology operatives look for]

MARTY RATHBUN AND THE SIEGE OF SOUTH TEXAS

[Scientology has Rathbun arrested] | [Rathbun and Mark Bunker reveal surprising ties]
In Germany with Ursula Caberta: [Announcing plans] | [Press conference] | [Making news about Tom Cruise, Bill Clinton, and Tony Blair] | [Post-trip interview]
The Squirrel Busters: [Goons with cameras on their heads] | [Rathbun's open letter to neighbors] | [Ingleside on the Bay, Texas rallies to Rathbun's cause] | [Squirrel Buster's claim to be making a "documentary"] | [VIDEO: "On a Boat"] | ["Anna" sent to creep out Monique Rathbun] | [Squirrel Busters go hillbilly] | [A videographer blows the whistle on the goon squad] | [Ed Bryan, OT VIII, shows the power of Scientology's highest levels]

SCIENTOLOGY SPYING AND "FAIR GAME"

[Secret Scientology documents spell out spying operation against Marc Headley]
[Scientology's West U.S. spies list revealed] | [Scientology's enemies list: Are you on it?]
Spy operation against Washington Post writer Richard Leiby: [Part 1] | [Part 2]
[A Scientology spy comes clean: Paulien Lombard's remarkable public confession]
[Scientology advertises for writers in Freedom magazine]
[Accidental leak shows Scientology spy wing plans to "handle" the Voice]
[Lori Hodgson and Disconnection: "No one's going to take my eternity away"]

SCIENTOLOGY AND CELEBRITIES

[Hey, Scientology Celebrity, Here's Your Media Training Checksheet!]
[Tom Cruise and X Factor's Stacy Francis singing together on the Freewinds]
[X Factor's Stacy Francis: Her first husband, Michael Sandlofer, answers abuse claims]
[Tom Cruise and Baby Suri embarrassed by news item, so someone must pay]
["Tom Cruise told me to talk to a bottle"] | [Tom Cruise likes coconut cake] | [Tom Cruise has a sense of humor] | ["Tom Cruise not a kook!"] | [Paulette Cooper on Tom Cruise]
[Paul Haggis, director of Crash, issues an ultimatum, leaves the church]
[Character actor Jason Beghe defects noisily] | [Actor Michael Fairman reveals his "suppressive person" declaration] | [Michael Fairman talks to the Voice]
[Giovanni Ribisi as David Koresh: Scientology-Branch Davidian link makes sense]
[Russell Brand weds ex-Scientologists in wild ceremony] | [Skip Press on Haggis]
[Placido Domingo Jr.: Scientology's retaliation is "scary and pathetic"]
Grant Cardone, NatGeo's "Turnaround King": [Doing Scientology's dirty work?] | [Milton Katselas complained about Cardone's smear job] | [Cardone runs to Huffpo]
[Philip Boyd, Saving Grace actor, rips "the business that is Scientology"]

JANET REITMAN'S INSIDE SCIENTOLOGY

[Our review of Inside Scientology] | [An interview with Janet Reitman] | [A report from Reitman's first book tour appearance] | [At the Half-King: Reitman not afraid]
[Scientology doesn't like Inside Scientology] | [Q&A at Washington Post]
[A roundup of Reitman's print reviews, and why isn't she on television more?]

HUGH URBAN'S THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY

[A review of Urban's scholarly history of the church] | [An interview with Hugh Urban]

EX-SCIENTOLOGISTS SPEAK OUT

["The Money Machine": another blockbuster St. Pete Times investigation]
[Marc Headley: "Tom Cruise told me to talk to a bottle"] | [The Nancy Many interview]
[Sympathy for the Devil: Tory Christman's Story] | [Jeff Hawkins' Counterfeit Dreams]
[86 Million Thin Dimes: The Lawrence Wollersheim Saga] | [Mike Rinder on spying]

OVERSEAS NEWS

[Scientology in Israel: Arson, attempted murder, paranoia -- and a visit by the Voice!]
[Scientology dodges a bullet in Australia] | [Scientology exec Jan Eastgate arrested]
[All hell breaks loose in Israel] | [Scientology sees fundraising gold in the UK riots]
[Aussie former rugby pro Chris Guider calls David Miscavige "toxic" and "violent"]
[Stephen Cox, UK church newbie, pledges 20K pounds] | [Biggi Reichert: A German Lisa McPherson?] | [The Birmingham trove: 7,000 internal e-mails]
[Australian farmer blamed for giving Tom Cruise a bad shrimp, loses her friends, family]

ODD VIDEOS AND ODDER NEWS

[Scientology chillin' with hip hop!] | [The curious career of Scientology rapper Chill EB]
[Chill EB and me: the Voice interviews Scientology's in-house rapper]
[Scientology singalong, "We Stand Tall"] | [Captain Bill Robertson and "Galactic Patrol"]
[Scientology wins a major award!] | [Scientology wants your money: Meet Dede!]
[Birmingham in the House! The "Ideal" dance mix] | [Scientology and the Nation of Islam]
[When Scientology was hip] | [Sad: David Miscavige makes fun of his own fundraisers]
[Freedom magazine parodies The New Yorker. Hilarity ensues.]
[Scientology surf report: Anonymous parties outside the New York "org"]

THE VIEW INSIDE THE BUBBLE

[A scientologist's letter to the Voice and its readers] | [Scientology silent birth]
[Tad Reeves: Scientology might listen to this guy] | [More Tad Reeves and family]
[Scientology never forgets: A heartwarming telemarketing holiday miracle]
[Desperate Scientology fundraising caught on video]

My Voice Nation Help
109 comments
LOVE
LOVE

Exciting news... a friend told me that a new Blockbuster Tell All book is soon to be released by the Senior Case Supervisor INTERNATIONAL of Scientology .. David Mayo.. Hubbard's Auditor for 7 years! Some writings/confessions from others close to the leader are in it. Hard evidence copied is part of it. OUCH! 

sumguy
sumguy

The kid with the IAS membership is fairly innocuous. It is just another way for the church to extract money from the members. i.e. "Well, you have bought a Lifetime for yourself and your wife, let's get them for your kids." There is no present or future commitment imposed upon the child as a result of that.

You could think of it as a "Scientology baptism". And of course, in Scientology, we baptise with money :)

Less innocuous is the implication of the other poster. I am strongly opposed to recruiting children and when they tried to recruit my child at fuckin' nine-years old (albeit, he could sign the billion-year contract now but not actually enter until maybe thirteen or so - I guess there are some limits), I told them where the hell they could go. I wish more Scientology parents would grow a set of balls. Just say no, fer krissake.

Theoracle
Theoracle

Can't you stick to fair gaming the grown ups?   I've noticed when people start going after the kids on the anti Scientology forums it goes up in volumes with the sadism.

Ben
Ben

This is so sick.  Children being abused and worked to death.What adult would sit there being audited or bossed around by a teenager?Wake up $cilons!   And to all the celebrity $cilons, WTF?

Old OT7
Old OT7

"Hi!  I'm a pregnant scientologist.  And I just made my future baby a Lifetime member of the IAS.  I know I'm carrying a former Sea Org member so I contacted Flag to let them know.  They informed me that they have lowered the age to reenlist.  In the "old" Sea Org, they gave people 21 years to grow the body before reporting for duty.  But now, with Earth in the horrible shape it's in, they need people to report for duty sooner.  So my  baby will be going to a scientology school from K to 4 and reporting for duty at age 10.  It is an honor and a privileged to call yourself a Sea Orger, and it something you have to earn.  I'll be so proud of him as he works 100 hour weeks, 52 weeks a year!  And even though his body  will be 10 years old, he's a fully mature thetan, fully capable of working a schedule like that.  I look forward to his Christmas day call, even if it is for only 7 seconds.  He'll be doing the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics.  So I urge all pregnant scientologist to realize that your fetus WAS a scientologist in his/her past life and wants to continue to help clear the planet.  What greater gift can you give to your future child than a lifetime membership in the IAS and a life serving the greater good as a Sea Org member!  His or her room & board will be payed for so your little darling doesn't have to worry about a thing.  He/she can then concentrate on the task at hand:  clearing this planet and then this universe and then other universes.  And when they drop their bodies, they go on to the universe that's one universe over from this one where Ron is  spreading scientology.  Now that IS true love for your child.

The Sea Org:  We Come Back!

ihateyborscientology
ihateyborscientology

What disturbs me most is that Hubbard learned his behavior of abuse from the good ole United States Navy. I was in the Navy from 03-07, i had the unique opportunity to work along side of alot of retired Phillipino serviceman , who served in the early 60's. The Racism and abuse these men described is exactly how hubbard decided to run the Sea Org. As soon as i began researching Scientology i realized just where these ideas came from. Im supurised that no one else has made this connection.....and that is one reason i got out of the military,, i was sick of the brainwashing , bullshit and working 80 hrs a week for minimum wage.

Sid
Sid

I know this regular Sunday piece is called "Sunday Funnies" Tony, but there's nothing remotely funny about this one.

It's just heart-breaking that Scientology are able to get away with this - ripping a top performing student away from the amazing potential that lay in front of him.

Who knows what this bright young man, with a desire to make a positive difference in the world, might have gone on to achieve had he not been hoodwinked into the servitude of a cult.

An eternal shame on Ron Hubbard for creating this monstrosity purely to serve his own selfish ends.

Old OT7
Old OT7

I echo your sentiments, Sid!  This is why we post.  Maybe something posted here will wake some kid up who's thinking of throwing his/her life away to this cult.

mjm
mjm

remember, remember the 19th of December...

Too Much
Too Much

Speaking of youth, here's a way to ensure your eternity while you're still in short pants while also appreciating the insides of a chain locker aboard an asbestos-laden death ship! And if you're lucky enough to avoid the roving pedophile rape gangs that go from chain locker to chain locker, you'll have all the solitude you need to contemplate another billion years of the child abuse to come.

Sarasota Breeze
Sarasota Breeze

With all the Godwining going on people often forget about Mao and the Cultural Revolution.  He was afraid that there were people more intelligent and better educated than he was and they were PTS to the bourgeoisie.  What did he do?  He created the Red Guard and raised a generation of children as bullies (CMO) and slogan spouters (auditors).  For a man who ranted on about communists under every bed, LRH was the biggest Maoist of them all.

Old OT7
Old OT7

Right on the money!  And the children in the Red Guard were ordered to report their parents if they had any thoughts counter to Mao's. Does this sound familiar?

THETEN-X  aka/ johnny d.
THETEN-X aka/ johnny d.

Whoa .. What the...?

For a split second I thought you were going to praise the "Chairman", You made a very good point though, all great / not so-great leaders AND despots have always had the ideal that "You Must Get 'Em While They're YOUNG !!" come on, am I right ? and Big Daddy Hubbard knew where his bread was buttered (rimes with hubbard) the old-fuck knew to pull them into the Sea-fucking-Org before the little-fuckers could escape the grip of poppa Hubbard-daadddy and the  sea-org's incredible grip supplied from ....(if you are in LA)."FRANK" ...the " Amazing Super Sea Org Security Guard Guy" thats ASSOSGG Okay-dokey?... really = (homo-sexual) umph, (not that there is any thing wrong with that) guy that came to Hollywood to get into acting but ended-up in the Cult of Scietology instead)..Well thats Frank, and I am pretty sure that most of you are all  familiar with "Fraaaunque" from Hollywood... you will find him on count-less Youtube vids about the cult.. yep yep cannot escape Franque in the same way ypo cannot escape za cult, thatz if you wanted too.....chuckles...come on my friend ...............where are you going??? do not you want to controle the rest of your....."Time-Trak"?? Hey I'm talkiin........YES INDEED FOLKS SCIENTOLOGY IS KOOL!!!!YES INDEED FOLKS SCIENTOLOGY IS KOOL!!!!YES INDEED FOLKS SCIENTOLOGY IS KOOL!!!!

THETEN-X  aka/ johnny d.
THETEN-X aka/ johnny d.

Bye The Way.....Our  other Great and Dear Leader ,  Kim Jong-il has by the grace of Xenu , pronounced ecks, eee, emnn, youu....(I don't know if you guy's can see it but when I start talking and writing about Crimetology, I mean $ientology 

Aa
Aa

More Scientology in the news: Groupon CEO Andrew Mason tells Associated Press "I"ve gotten really into Scientology."

Strelnikov
Strelnikov

I hope he's joking, because the "church" will take Grupon from him.

Peter
Peter

I used to help out with the Sunday Services. Someone with a minister cert would read from a big book that had more flowery and philosophical Hubbard writings, and we would read a creed aloud together. And then they added the group processing--like at those self-help seminars where they have you do interactive things to get your attention focused. Afterwards, a reg would be available to take you on your next step toward feeling gooder. So much more happiness than what money could bring..

CofS Exit Zone
CofS Exit Zone

"And then they added the group processing"

O'RLY? Group processing during the so-called "Sunday Service" /facepalm

You learn something new every day. Do tell (if you remember), what was the approximate time frame group processing became apart of the church service deal?

Aa
Aa

I wonder if in its search for child labor and impressionable minds (as well as cold cash) the cult has ever tried to exploit the foster care system for bodies as well as income? Some places like D.C. pay foster parents quite well, and these children could in turn be put to work in some fashion -- generating income on both ends. And of course, ultimately pressured to join the Sea Org. It's a potential gold mine. 

Maybe it's unwise to even talk about such things, as the cult has already shown a remarkable proclivity in abusing the social welfare system -- as well as every government and legal system that can possibly be exploited -- and perhaps the worst thing we can do is give the criminal cult any fresh ideas.

Warrior
Warrior

With regards to problems with Sea Org children, L Ron Hubbard wrote:"I have found the why of this scene. Parents bringing children into the SO dump their parents hats on the SO and the SO instead of taking responsibility dump the hat back on the parents resulting in a totally cross ordered and scrambled scene that no stable organization can be gotten into. I found for instance that every order I issued about children at Flag was at once referred to a parent and not one personnel to whom such an order was issued ever carried it out. This cost children Flag. It is making the trouble in Pac [the Pacific Area Command Base]."As soon as you have that why some sense can be made out of the scene and it can be advanced toward and Ideal. But no ideal was ever stated. This would be competent and well trained children who are a credit to the SO and are resources."The tech on this is in the PL about depowering people by knocking their hats off. PTS research is beginning to reveal that the parents actions in knocking off the child's hat is a basic of PTS. The weakening results in valence shifts. The answer of course is in hatting PLs. An unhatted child is going to be a juvenile delinquent and an unproductive child is going to be miserable. Pride and sense of value are interlocked into this."It also happens that the American way of life runs very counter to child handling and is the basis of American trouble with this part of its culture which will of course eventually destroy the culture as it is built on children."This we will have a ruddy mess if this scene is not properly handled and evaluated."In the finance sphere this is quite a handful. The only way we can afford to handle this scene at all is to let the state share some of the burden. It is not practical at this time to try to run a self-supportive school. Under the heading of resources, then, any grandiose scheme would fail. The why of finance is that we are doing the only effective work in the field yet psychiatrists and psychologists who have no result are dragging in all the billions. We must therefore conserve our resources in order to apply them to shorter term expansion, defense, and, of course, taking over eventually the field and its appropriations. Reversely those children will have a role to play in this and are resources. The Industrial age looks on a child as a non-resource and so will anyone in the SO that is steeped in the culture from which they came. They are sentimentally destructive and think it too cold blooded to look on children as a resource."-- L. Ron Hubbard, in Executive Directive 3 Continental Office of LRH, 21 May 1974

sketto
sketto

Just a reality check for a second, my friend. When you quote Hubbard instead of using your own mind and your own arguments, you are merely reinforcing the idea that you have given up thinking and have placed a science fiction writer's ideas higher than your own.

This is unhealthy. Start thinking for yourself. Much more happiness will follow.

Warrior
Warrior

@sketto - You couldn't be more wrong. What Sid wrote!

Old OT7
Old OT7

It happens.  Sometimes posts seem different than they really are.

Peace to you, Sketto, and to all here!  I'll tell ya, 2012 is going to be a really great year 

sketto
sketto

My sincere apologies. You are right. I was wrong. My mistake for reading too quickly.

Peace.

Sid
Sid

Sketto - I think you have misunderstood Warrior.

He is posting excerpts from Hubbard which prove (yet again) that it is Hubbard's policies which we are seeing being enforced here.

It's amazing isn't it? For every abuse carried out by the current Cult of Scientology, we see a Hubbard policy letter which kick-started the abuse.

Yet those who refuse to see Hubbard for the monster that he was cannot see the hand of their prophet. Miscavige is a very willing disciple of Hubbard, but then aren't you all?

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

"They are really Adults in Little Bodies"....L.R. Hubbard quote.

Hell Yeah.... electric chair and gas chamber for spilling milk and flicking boogers...

They know what their crimes are.

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

Using Children for Marketing & Sales...

That's right down there with being a Hypnotist...

Jgg
Jgg

  Tony, this week's stuff is very troubling, but I do want to follow up on last week's service" Co$ added some courses.

How to write a resume--Stacy Francis Keep your marriage together--Jason Lee Novel things to do with Furniture--Tom Cruise How Scientology helped increase my income to $50/wk.--Sea Org Liars and Apostates--Karin Pouw Lose weight you never had--Kelly Preston How to win a Razzie--John Travolta Novel uses for Brillo pads--Danny Masterson How to spot a child rapist--Jenna Elfman AIDS and other states of mind--Jenna Elfman How to be a narcissist--Grant Cardone How to defend your religion--Bodhi Elfman   My life as LRH's reincarnation--to be announced How to stay calm during an interview--Tommy Davis How to handle reporters--Tommy Davis Xenu?  Who's that?--Tommy Davis How not to be overshadowed by your husband--Shelly Miscavige How to be a good employer--David MiscavigeCooking for Men--Tom Cruise

mjm
mjm

let's keep this goin'!:-101 Uses for a Crackpipe - Juliette Lewis-How to Effectively Get Liposuction - Kirstie Alley and Kelly Preston-How to ruin your career - Tom Cruise-How to be a good beard - Katie Holmes-HOW DARE YOU!!: Effective Communication When Someone Asks About Your Family in the RPF- Anne Archer-How I Pissed Off the Boss' Wife - Leah Remini-How to Bitch n Moan on Twitter - Kirstie Alley-Hey I'm Pals with Tori Amos, But I Write Rehashed Sci-Fi - Neil Gaiman-How to Funnel Cult Cash Into Your Husband's Estate and Disconnect Your Family In the Process, You Gold Digger You - Priscilla Presley

Puck
Puck

How to cultivate Haitian Restavec Orphans for profit and future Sea Org Members-John Travolta and the Volunteer MinistersHow to discipline your child-Wally HanksHow to Become a Commodores Messenger at age of 12-Carly Crutchfield

Jgg
Jgg

  Katie Holmes will also teach "How to be a Stepford Wife"

MarkStark
MarkStark

Acceptable Truthiness by Karin Pouw

Jgg
Jgg

  Reminds me of the joke about the salesman who said he would sell his soul to the devil to get a commission.  Sure enough, Satan emerges from a man hole, walks up and says "sir, I can guarantee you a $1million in commission this week; just give me the souls of all your descendants for the next 5,000 years."  The salesman replied "what's the catch?"

Old OT7
Old OT7

LOL!  And I'm a salesman too!  Thanks for that!

Chocolate Velvet
Chocolate Velvet

Stuff like this makes the point, for me, of why cults are evil (a strong word, and I use it deliberately), and it is not just a matter of the individual's right to believe. Scientology, Aum Shinrikyo, FLDS, whatever. Cults exploit a genuine need in people - call it spiritual longing, a hunger for moral clarity, a need for hope. It is a part of the human condition, IMO. My problem here is not with the individual child/youth and their beliefs - it is with seeing them being exploited and recognizing a need to intervene and at least make them aware of it. Young people are naturally idealistic, and coming to maturity is in part a process of disillusionment. Reconciling our ideals with reality is a painful process, and this is a large part of most people's adolescence. It is so easy to step in and promise an out from that struggle. When Denny says, "Scientology is really the only way out", that breaks my heart. I can relate to the desire for a way to make a real difference, it is a compassionate response to the suffering and madness in the world. We are all vulnerable to the promise of easy answers, which is why adults can be recruited as often as youths; but children are defenseless because of their innocent idealism. It is important for mature people of intelligence and good heart to care enough to "innoculate" them with information and the understanding that anyone who demands you surrender your self-determination and power as an individual is not likely to be doing "good" in the world. Hopefully, parents play this role, but that is not the case here.There is nothing wrong with a live-and-let-live attitude. But the only reason I have been a cult watcher for so long is because I think we are all in this together. If I was about to "choose" to walk off a cliff, I hope that someone might call out a warning or even stop me long enough to make sure I realize where I'm headed.

This is just my personal philosophy, of course. But Sunday is a good day for sharing such things.

Aa
Aa

The use of personal testimonials has long been a common advertising tactic of scam products and services. It's a legal, back-door way of making false claims and promises that are unlikely to come true for the vast majority of the gullible people who take the bait believing that the same thing will likely happen to them.

While most of us just laugh at the kind of lame marketing tactics employed by late-night infomercials, they wouldn't be doing it unless it worked. It wouldn't be at all surprising if the cult has people whose job it is to find out exactly which marketing tactics are the most effective, (just like any business does) and steer these testimonials into saying exactly what their research demonstrates works.

Strelnikov
Strelnikov

I didn't want to break Godwin's Law, but Alanzo mention the Austrian politician's name 3 hours ago....the Sea Org is more and more resembling those ad-hoc fighting units the Germans threw together in 1944-45; all Hitler Youth kids aged 11-16 soldering alongside the occasional 60 year old man. That's what the Sea Org is now; Hubbard's Volksturm, a "militia" of overworked, underpaid robot people all of whom would be better off somewhere else.

Denny Chang slaves for a ghost, and the midget who stole the ghost's lunacy factory.

bobx
bobx

Child soldiers in Liberia or Sierra Leone also come to mind.  This week's "funny" just doesn't leave me in the mood to compose anything snarky to say.

Warrior
Warrior

"In the American society exists a degraded contempt for children. Adults regard them as 'dear little cute things God damn them.'"This attitude is not allowed in the Sea Org."THE YOUNG PEOPLE OF A SOCIETY ARE AN ASSET AND MUST BE CARED FOR AND PROPERLY BROUGHT UP AS VALUABLE BEINGS. THOSE WHO DECIDE TO JOIN THE SEA ORG AND BE PART OF THE TEAM MUST BE ALLOWED TO DO THEIR BEST."-- Flag Order 3167 of 6 April 1972, by CS-7 for L. Ron Hubbard, Commodore

Warrior
Warrior

"If a child or these children are found in Hold 1 _or_ any hidden compartment of the ship they are to be locked up."-- Flag Order 1630 of 3 December 1968, by L. Ron Hubbard, Commodore

V for Vacation
V for Vacation

What does it actually mean for a child to be a lifetime member of the IAS?  Is it just money that the parent forks over to secure the "freedom" of the child's soul?  Does it put the kid on a different CoS track than kids not in the IAS?

Natalie
Natalie

A child or adult becomes a lifetime member by paying the fee for a lifetime membership.  It gives the member a discount "IAS rate" on services.  The closest thing Scientologist have to a baptism is buying their child a membership.  

The Church of Scientology also has a "naming ceremony" that a church minister performs, which they would probably say is their version of a baptism.  When I was in the church I didn't see the naming ceremony being done much, but a few did.  Way more bought memberships for their kids.

Strelnikov
Strelnikov

You have me; I think it's just prestige.

If anybody knows, please write.

Warrior
Warrior

"Adults who goof are not reassigned somewhere else -- they are either assigned a condition, fined, made to work longer hours or lose a privilege -- so should it be with the cadets."-- Flag Order 1287 of 3 September 1968 by Irene Dunleavy, CS7 for L. Ron Hubbard, Commodore

Warrior
Warrior

"Every Sea Org Member must be included on the W.Q.S.B. and Org. Board regardless. Age 6 and above."-- Flag Order 780 of 29 May 1968 by Lt. Cmdr Bill Howey, for L. Ron Hubbard, Commodore

Warrior
Warrior

"It will be looked upon as suppressive of any student, (baby, child or adult) not to let him [a student in a Sea Org 'school'] (a) learn essentials or (b) complete cycles of action in education by check sheet."-- Flag Order 746 of 20 May 1968, by L. Ron Hubbard, Commodore

scilonschools
scilonschools

That poor  "I am IAS"  boy looks troubled (or constipated)

Marcotai
Marcotai

May be he has ADHD. I'm sure that you have already some "appropriate" drugs to give to him, isn't it?

Clarkle
Clarkle

Please don't feed this troll.

Old OT7
Old OT7

Seconded!  DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS!  If you do, they'll leave troll poop all over the place.

johnny d.
johnny d.

It must be hungry, three comments in one hour, I say it's starving.But Im am fresh out of Troll-Bait.

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