Stay The Hell Away From New York's Malls Right Now

Shopping for presents on Christmas Eve is the only thing worse than buying a Halloween costume on October 30th. For the fifth year in a row, you've forgot to get your uncle that sweater you were supposed to get him and now you have to max out your credit card a just little bit more. If you really have to get the forgotten gift go ahead, but if it's not for an immediate family member -- screw it. Right now, the state of the stores in America, specifically New York's, is at a particular high point of black friday level craziness. Stop shopping, it's time to cut your losses in order to protect your mental and physical health.

New York 1 managed to find the most stressed shopper of 2011:

"It's really stressful, and I'm going through in my head what I forgot, or who I forgot. It's really, really stressful time," said an early morning shopper.

Emphasis ours. Hey anonymous shopper: don't forget the ham is in the oven, you still have to put up the last of the ornaments, wrap those presents once you get home, and make sure Aunt Rita doesn't drink too much wine tonight. No pressure.

The Staten Island mall was a complete shitshow at midnight on Friday for the release of Retro Air Jordan 11 sneakers. There were a couple of brawls and the NYPD had to intervene to keep the huge crowd calm. The New York Daily News supplies the choice quote from 19-year-old Staten Islander Vincenzo Gavrity:

"F--k you, I'm getting my shoes," said Gavrity, whose jacket blew off in the dust up as he attempted to avoid handcuffs, according to the criminal complaint.

Gavrity never did get a pair of the much desired kicks.

Meanwhile, The New York Post reports that there's a "Santa Claus look-a-like" on the loose right now in possession of a $75,000 emerald. Staying indoors is the only real option at this point.


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No way man, you wouldnt catch me near a mall right now, no way, no how.www.Total-Privacy dot US


Excellent point.  Personally, I'm grateful not to be exchanging holiday gifts with anyone.  Just mailed Christmas cards and enclosed a tip in the card for the paper carrier.

The news coverage of this year's holiday shopping disasters should raise questions about the values we have now.  What sort of monsters have we turned into?  Now, the use of the pronoun "we" is unfair, since not all of us have turned into monsters. 

A suggestion for next year: People with favorite charities can ask that donations be made instead of shopping for crap.  This will allow nonprofits to shop for human and pet food, clothes, toys, etc.  The nonprofits which are run most efficiently will use that money with less waste than if someone buys you something you don't really need.

The stampedes, shootings and pepper spray attacks serve as a warning that our society is in serious trouble.  Impulse is taking the place of reason, and one way to stop that is for people to ask, "What the (expletive) are we thinking?" 


On line is the way to go. Of course, it's more reassuring to be doing business with a known quality on-line merchant.

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