10 Things We Should Expect to See in 2013


As you might know by now, today is the last day of the year. Take advantage of these few hours before midnight to review every "Best Of 2012" list out there because their timeliness will soon be quelled by the imminent switch in our non-Mayan calendar. Once that clock strikes 12, mankind will turn the page on another year of existence, hitting "Refresh" on what we've digested over the past 365 days. That's a lot of pressure.

Alas, 2012 was definitely a weird year (but, then again, aren't they all?). From Mitt Romney to Honey Boo Boo, America flashed her freakish flares while we sat back and watched from behind a TV or computer screen. There's no need to go over everything that happened; as mentioned before, that's what the "Best Of 2012" lists are for, right? 

With that being said, it's never too early to reel out a few predictions for the New Year. And, of course, what better way to organize that crystal ball mentality than a list? Based off what we've witnessed since last January, there are a few solid calls we can make about 2013. Ten of them, actually. And here they are:

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How Do We Remember Things That Happen In The Past Without 'Best Of...' Lists?

Screenshot of Wikipedia Page for '2012'

The minute December 1st was upon us, the Internet and print media alike began to fill its shelves and papers with content-heavy, link-heavy and rank-heavy lists, all of which give the reader some sort of guidance as to what actually happened over the past 365 days. Of course, we here at the Voice were guilty of it, too: we put together 'Top 10 Films of 2012,' 'Our Favorite Books Of 2012,' and the like. And you should read every single one of them.

We love lists. They're easy to digest, they're manageable and they're great for small talk. This is because you almost always disagree with them, making great conversation at parties - over this past weekend, my friends and I discussed for hours how Rolling Stone's '50 Greatest Hip-Hop Songs Of All Time' was invalid due to a lack of Big L. And this is because they're almost always written by an authoritarian writer, who hands you his or her opinions on what he or she thinks you should know about this Year In Culture. Authority leads to competition: If you haven't seen all of New York Times's film critic A.O. Scott's favorite movies this year, then we should probably/maybe stop talking.

Post-modernism aside, the headline of this piece is a very serious question. As the Internet expands like the universe, the lists are never-ending galaxies that exist for the sole reason of existing; this week, Vice Magazine put together 'The 25 Best Lists Of The Year.' Why? Because why not

Can you imagine December without them? What would we do? How would we understand what humanity accomplished (or really messed up) if we cannot number them 1 through 10? Better yet, and this is what's most important here, is there any way to remember things that happened in 2012 without 'Best Of' lists? 

The future seems bleak.

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Mitt Romney is a Snooki Fan, Reaffirming That He's Out of Touch with America

Mitt Romney Time cover.jpg
As reality television slowly drags itself into the oblivion, it is safe to say that we, as a country, are pretty much done with MTV's 'Jersey Shore.' The greased-up guido and obnoxious fist-pumping fad came and went but, nonetheless, it did happen: at one point, the show was the highest rated show ever on the channel and was attracting millions of viewers for each episode. Snooki and the rest of the crew became national sensations - each having some sort of spin-off bullshit to keep themselves busy - as Americans obsessively tuned in to find out why whomever was cheating on whomever.

I am not a cultural expert on the 'Jersey Shore' - truthfully, I didn't watch it at all - but, hey, I lived in America in late 2009 and early 2010, which indirectly gives me authority to speak on the subject. So bear with me: now, the country could care less about the Shore; hence the show's cancellation and a lack of giving-a-shit about Snooki and J. Wow's other show. And there's a ton of reasons to explain why: the current popularity of Smart Television (i.e. 'Breaking Bad,' 'Mad Men,' 'Louie'), America's short attention span, the stagnated economy or the masses' revelation that, hey, what we're watching right now is actually pretty shitty.

One may ask, why I am making this point? Why the cultural critique of the 'Jersey Shore' trend and its deeper implications for what we, as a country, care about? To reiterate what's been said, who gives a shit about anything related to the show or its stars or me, for that matter?

Well, the point that America has moved on from Snooki as a metaphysical idea ties in well with Presidential go-getter Mitt Romney's comments yesterday on the 'Shore' star, telling America on 'Live! With Kelly and Michael!' that he is 'kind of a Snooki fan.' If we follow the logical sequence here, it's clear that Mitt is stuck in the past and, for liking a show that America is over with, not that cool at all. And remember: this election is about likability, not the economy, stupid.

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Romney First Election Ad: Most Epic Day One Ever (Well... Sorta)

"What would a Romney Presidency look like?"

That's what the narrator, who sounds a bit like the Republican nominee himself, asks viewers in the Romney campaign's first video ad for the general election (entitled "Day One") that went up on YouTube last night. The advertisement will be shown over and over again in the battleground states (i.e. Virginia, Michigan) to a people who presumably hate the word "swing." 

Most of us have no idea what the answer to that question is; predicting the future is a hard trait to come by for the non-clairvoyant demographic. Our fellow Voice writer Pete Kotz took a wack at it and, apparently, so did Mitt.

Interwoven with gleeful shots of Mitt shaking peoples' hands and workers that exist somewhere Bain Capital hasn't found yet, the video takes hypothetical politics to the White House, painting a first day on the job portrait for anyone who's interested. And, if the video is any indication, he has a lot planned.

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Will Barack Obama Still Win the Youth Vote?

In 2008, Barack Obama's presidential victory was bolstered by a buoyant youth vote, which enthusiastically took to social media to tout his promises of hope and change.

Young voters' preference for Democrats isn't entirely new -- in fact, they have leaned left in the last three election cycles, suggesting a dramatic shift in the country's overall political landscape, according to a Pew Research Center study.

But Obama got a lot of traction by promising to pump up a lagging economy, which has drastically limited employment opportunities for the 18 to 30-year-old age group.

Of course, economic recovery has been slow, and young people are still pretty pissed about being in debt, which could put to question their opinion of Obama.

But a new poll suggests that Republicans might be making some gains with young people, according to Tufts University's Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning (CIRCLE).

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Dogs (and UWS Activists) Against Romney Protest Outside Westminister Dog Show

​A "Dogs Against Romney" protest brought out more reporters sniffing for a story than pups this afternoon.

The animal advocacy group aims to call attention to an infamous incident in which Mitt Romney strapped the family dog in a crate to the roof of the car for a 12-hour drive in the late 1980s. Protester Paul Gestos, a longtime dog owner and Occupy Wall Streeter, said Mutt Romney's story reflects poorly on his owner's character. "It shows he has no empathy," Gestos said of the presidential hopeful. "He made a bad decision and now he won't even own up to it."

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Mitt Romney Condoms, 'for Anyone With an Elitist Penis,' Hit the Market

And now we present a form of birth control that will make people want to be abstinent. Forever.

Runnin' Scared introduces the Mitt Romney condom -- recently unveiled by the same New York company that first marketed Barack Obama rubbers in 2008 (h/t New York Post).

Say It With a Condom's "Never Settle" model, available for $4.95, is perfect for "anyone with an elitist penis" and "great for any position" (yuk yuk yuk), according to the website.

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Mitt Romney Beats Newt Gingrich by 20 Points in Florida Poll

Mitt Romney, who routinely gets shit from other conservatives for being too rich, too Mormon, and too willing to help people get healthcare, is crushing top rival Newt Gingrich in Florida a day before the Jan. 31 primary -- a just-released Suffolk University/7 News poll puts the former Massachusetts gov at a comfy, 20-point lead over the candidate who shares a name with an amphibian.

The reason: even deep-pocketed neo-cons feel the hurt of a bad economy, and Romney is seen as the candidate most likely to fix country's financial troubles, Suffolk says.

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Rick Perry: There is Not One Non-White Person in America. (Also, Rick Santorum is a Pig!)

Usually, the advisors of even the most aging white male Republican candidate will pay some crude lip service to the idea of a multi-culti America. Not Rick Perry, though; we've watched his latest video "America is Caling" through a couple of times, and from what we can see, there is not one non-white person in all of America, from New York harbor's Statue of Liberty, to the midwest's amber waves of grain.

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Same-Sex Marriage Takes New York By Storm in 2011, Tosses Salad in Iowa in 2012

Happy New Year. We're kicking things off here this January by taking a quick look at how same-sex marriage affected life in New York in 2011, and how it's shaping up primary politics in Iowa in advance of tomorrow's caucuses.

Gay marriage, of course, just became official in New York last year. As a result, the number of marriage licenses was up 14% in the city last year over the latter half of 2010. Stopping this kind of marriage surge must be the kind of thing thrice married adulterer Newt Gingrich wants to put in an end to in his campaign to "save" the institution.

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