Brooklyn Man Currently Seeking Football Coach on Craigslist

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Oh, Craigslist. You never fail to amuse us, especially around weekends, holidays, and Great American Pastimes. Throw a little bit of the male ego in there, and the comedy gold practically writes itself.

A local Brooklyn man is currently seeking a football coach on Craigslist, offering $500 to anyone willing to practice with him daily until the Superbowl. (But wait! Don't all young men just know how to play football from birth? Apparently not.) This poor young man, who knows next-to-nothing about football, once made the mistake of telling his girlfriend's ex that he was a college quarterback, despite this being not at all true.

Now the ex has invited them both to a Superbowl game, and our fearless hero must find a football coach and learn everything he can about the game in order to save the day and win the girl:

This person MUST be available each day between now and the Super Bowl game (February 5, 2012), some time between 7-9pm on weekdays or afternoons on Saturday.

This is really important to me. I think my girlfriend still really likes her ex and when we first started dating she cheated on me a few times with him, so I really can't risk looking like an idiot in front of both of them.

And!

Oh, also, her ex played "linebacker." Should I know a lot about playing "linebacker" too? Do quarterbacks normally know about that? I definitely will need to learn all the positions and what they do, but it might help for me to learn something from a "linebacker," if you know one.

My girlfriend and I are going through a bit of a rough patch now and she keeps threatening to move out. I'm afraid if I get caught lying about this our relationship is over.

Well, no kidding. Let this be a lesson to all of us: when trying to impress a girl, and/or her ex, it would perhaps be a good idea to stick to the things you know.

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Cas_eindhoven
Cas_eindhoven

I don't know who's more pathetic, this guy, or the girlfriend.

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