Scientology on the High Seas: L. Ron Hubbard Frets Over His Sexy Crew

LRHSmoking.JPG
In November we started a new feature here on Fridays: the Voice has obtained hundreds of copies of L. Ron Hubbard's previously unpublished "Orders of the Day," which he gave to crew members as he sailed the Mediterranean. Our documents cover the period from late 1968 through 1971, and this time we're looking at what was happening the week of January 8 through 14 during those years.

After the jump, LRH is grumpy about all his frisky crew members...


[Confused? Go here for our primer, "What is Scientology?" For recent controversies in the church, check out our stories on Debbie Cook, secrets of the Super Power Building, and spying on Tom Cruise. We know these 40-year-old ship's documents aren't for everyone, but they've been giving us some interesting insights into the mind of Hubbard as he ran Scientology from a yacht in the Mediterranean. Check back here often for more breaking news about the church.]


1969

January 13: 183 crew are reported on board; LRH is in an overboarding mood, but he also happily announces new additions to the Scientology family.

STARBOARD WATCH

Starboard Watch is assigned Non-Existence for slowness in coming to Fire Drill on 9 Jan 69 and treating it as a joke.

The F/MAA is to discover who in Starboard considers drills a joke and throw the joker or jokers overboard, which is a very big joke in this cool weather and cold water

...

BRAVE NEW WORLD

Two babies were born tonight: 9:00 -- Boy, 6 1/2 lbs; 9:04 -- Girl, 5 1/2 lbs to IRENE and BILL.

Mother and babies doing very well after a very swift and easy delivery.

Dr. Zosimas officiated at the Corfu Clinic where Irene and the babies are.

Bill Howey is assigned a condition of Breathlessness for failing to "bill and drill" the birthing of the new twins. He is fined cigars and cigarettes for the crew.

LRH, COMMODORE


January 14: The Commodore isn't happy about frisky crew members, who are engaging in "2D" -- that is, they're fornicating. But a lot else seems to be bugging him, too.

SHIP CONDITION

As data comes in and I have had enough look to figure this out, the following can be made as a clear cut statement:

1. The ship is in Danger condition because to get any major target completed I have had to hammer and pound and by-pass. Thus the ship condition is correct.

2. Every major target I have so far handled has had bugs in it; it has been fouled up in some way. Example: On Greek Corporation the local lawyers reports were not verified, nothing was pushed and the corporation was dead filed in Athens after being reported complete. On the safety cert the Ships Rep was letting people believe the ship was not classified as a yacht (which it is) and was trying to get a complete ship survey instead of a letter saying ship's safety equipment was okay. In an old target to take care of Las Palmas storage bill, Lola Rossouw falsely stated it was being pad, incorrectly assuming a monthly withdrawal on a bank statement was it which wasn't, the goods thereby being about to be sold.

3. The major targets are not understood as those things which MUST be done in order to sail or operate at all.

4. False reports were coming out of Div 7 and the engineers.

5. Div 4 had not even submitted POs to FP to get vital work done months overdue.

6. A fast check of crew discovered they do not know the org board and all SS IIs on the ship are false reports.

7. The Ships Org Book is not known generally.

8. Floods of unreal targets have been set as cross orders, all as "FOs" but by others.

9. Excessive 2D on the part of a few has caused enturbulation.

Thus we see that the situation is composed of:

1. Non Compliance
2. Fale Reports
3. Failures to doggedly follow through one action and get it done fully and completely.
4. Distractions leading to 3..

Thus we get a new term - SPECTATOR.

Spectatorism is very great in our modern society.

Because some people cannot conceive of causing anything they just watch it. They don't do anything. They are not PARTICIPANTS. They are spectators.

You see this in magazines. Hee hee hee articles abot how odd this is or that is. No understanding of it. It's just odd and one watches it in a detached sort of way.

Below this is somebody who doesn't even notice. Such a person has to come up scale just to be a spectator.

An unfinished cycle of action comes about because
(a) The importance of it is not grasped
(b) The cycle itself is not fully understood.
(c) Non compliance and false reports are given as a method of self-protection wherein are hopes it will not be noticed.

What we need are more PARTICIPANTS, more team mates.

You belong to the SO or you don't. If you do you're at cause over the various situations.

So we define an SO Member the way you do an OT -- At cause over Life, Thought, Matter, Energy, Space, Time and Form.

The degree you can be cause in handling the targets and needs of the group determines right away how far you've come up the line.

Blaming case is effect, isn't it?

Sex is effect, isn't it?

I don't care what your grade is, you are alive. Your true ability depends on the degree you can exercise the definition of OT over your post in forwarding the purposes of the group.

You are actually insulting yourself to insist that I personally make whatever advances are made on vital actions of the group.

If what you are trying to do doesn't happen its a poor comment on your OTism.

LRH, COMMODORE



1971

January 8: LRH doesn't like reporters. Wonder why?

SAILING

An International hard news story is about to come off in this port. Nothing to do with us. But reporters will be all over the place and our rat guards are not very effective.

A "Hard news Story" means a staged or actual event as different than a statement by someone.

As this particular staged event is not very newsworthy really and as we are lately in the news on our effort to hit at the UK Parliament, the reporters would probably use us to justify their being here.

Policy is to avoid hard news stories. Don't get mixed up in International events like revolutios or International PR efforts.

Therefore, although all is cool, we'll slide down the coast long before the event and say here lengthily another day.

DDT kills flies. What de-verminates reporters?

So we sail the 11th.

Hey, the reporter wh painted up the Dekki Le Moate scene in DK is rumored to have been sacked! Maybe his paper had good sense after all.

Holland is apparently also under control on this I hear.

...

LRH, COMMODORE


January 9: Anyone know what the "Le Moate affair" was?

LEAVINGS

Two more days remain in which to break the SO Contract. Strauss, van Wert and the Fullertons are the ones to go now.

The Flag Field Officer Wayne Alkire has the conditions of departure.

We are too busy to give further attention to downstats.

Orgs should be warned. The Le Moate affair was rough on Paris and DK only because they weren't fully warned she was a psychotic. Although why they reached for it is a bit of a mystery.

There's an old principle involved -- experiential track.

I have nothing against these people. Orgs are in the pc business, not Flag. We are in the management and OT business. Handling purely pcs here in these high velocity areas of top command introduces the flow at the wrong point. The purely pc flow enters at lower org levels. It is our job to put orgs there that can handle such cases.

Sooner or later orgs will have to acquire and start running an institutional annex. It is too hard on them handling psychotics without these facilities.

A psychotic is in a Condition of Treason on the first dynamic and extends it to the third and fourth with covert destruction. This isn't because anyone else declared the condition. It just happens to be a fact. Being in treason on the first dynamic doesn't always mean covert destruction on the other dynamics.

Unhappy people, unhappy subject.

...

LRH, COMMMODORE

That sure seems like an ominous and prophetic observation by the Commodore: "Sooner or later orgs will have to acquire and start running an institutional annex. It is too hard on them handling psychotics without these facilities." Maybe if he'd done something about it, Lisa McPherson might still be alive.


Tony Ortega is the editor-in-chief of The Village Voice. Since 1995, he's been writing about Scientology at several publications.

tortega@villagevoice.com | @VoiceTonyO | Facebook: Tony Ortega

Keep up on all of our New York news coverage at this blog, Runnin' Scared


SCIENTOLOGY IN THE VILLAGE VOICE

[All recent stories] | [What is Scientology?] | [Top 25 People Crippling Scientology]
[Commenters of the Week] | [Thursday 2pm Stats!] | [Scientology vs. South Park]
[This Week Aboard the Apollo] | [Sunday Funnies]

FEATURED INVESTIGATIONS

[Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis secretly recorded discussing "disconnection"]
[Benjamin Ring, LA deputy sheriff, wants you to spend your 401K on Scientology]
[Scientologists: How many of them are there, anyway?]
[Scientology hates clean ice: The "Fair Game" operation that should turn your stomach]
[Scientology hates clean ice, part 2: Another target, and the web as weapon]
[Paulette Cooper, Scientology's original and worst nightmare: a Thanksgiving tribute]

THE TOP 25 PEOPLE CRIPPLING SCIENTOLOGY

1. L. Ron Hubbard | 2. David Miscavige | 3. Marty Rathbun | 4. Tom Cruise | 5. Joe Childs and Tom Tobin | 6. Anonymous | 7. Mark Bunker | 8. Mike Rinder | 9. Jason Beghe | 10. Lisa McPherson | 11. Nick Xenophon | 12. Tommy Davis | 13. Janet Reitman | 14. Tory Christman | 15. Andreas Heldal-Lund | 16. Marc and Claire Headley | 17. Jefferson Hawkins | 18. Amy Scobee | 19. The Squirrel Busters | 20. Trey Parker and Matt Stone | 21. Kendrick Moxon | 22. Jamie DeWolf | 23. Ken Dandar | 24. Dave Touretzky | 25. Xenu

HELD ABOARD THE FREEWINDS: TALES OF THE SEA ORG

[Valeska Paris, held against her will from 1996 to 2007 on Scientology's cruise ship]
[Ramana Dienes-Browning, marriage at 16, sexual interrogation, life in the engine room]
[Melissa Paris, Valeska's sister: forced to marry at 16]

SCIENTOLOGY VS. SOUTH PARK: INVESTIGATION AS RETALIATION

[Scientology targeted South Park's Parker and Stone in an investigation]
[More documents in the South Park probe: instructions to send in a young mole]
[Scientology responds in typical fashion] | [Lloyd Kaufman confirms the probe]
[Mark Ebner also investigated after South Park involvement]
[Mark Chauppetta, private eye, explains what Scientology operatives look for]

MARTY RATHBUN AND THE SIEGE OF SOUTH TEXAS

[Scientology has Rathbun arrested] | [Rathbun and Mark Bunker reveal surprising ties]
In Germany with Ursula Caberta: [Announcing plans] | [Press conference] | [Making news about Tom Cruise, Bill Clinton, and Tony Blair] | [Post-trip interview]
The Squirrel Busters: [Goons with cameras on their heads] | [Rathbun's open letter to neighbors] | [Ingleside on the Bay, Texas rallies to Rathbun's cause] | [Squirrel Buster's claim to be making a "documentary"] | [VIDEO: "On a Boat"] | ["Anna" sent to creep out Monique Rathbun] | [Squirrel Busters go hillbilly] | [A videographer blows the whistle on the goon squad] | [Ed Bryan, OT VIII, shows the power of Scientology's highest levels]

SCIENTOLOGY SPYING AND "FAIR GAME"

[Secret Scientology documents spell out spying operation against Marc Headley]
[Scientology's West U.S. spies list revealed] | [Scientology's enemies list: Are you on it?]
Spy operation against Washington Post writer Richard Leiby: [Part 1] | [Part 2]
[A Scientology spy comes clean: Paulien Lombard's remarkable public confession]
[Scientology advertises for writers in Freedom magazine]
[Accidental leak shows Scientology spy wing plans to "handle" the Voice]
[Lori Hodgson and Disconnection: "No one's going to take my eternity away"]

SCIENTOLOGY AND CELEBRITIES

[Hey, Scientology Celebrity, Here's Your Media Training Checksheet!]
[Tom Cruise and X Factor's Stacy Francis singing together on the Freewinds]
[X Factor's Stacy Francis: Her first husband, Michael Sandlofer, answers abuse claims]
[Tom Cruise and Baby Suri embarrassed by news item, so someone must pay]
["Tom Cruise told me to talk to a bottle"] | [Tom Cruise likes coconut cake] | [Tom Cruise has a sense of humor] | ["Tom Cruise not a kook!"] | [Paulette Cooper on Tom Cruise]
[Paul Haggis, director of Crash, issues an ultimatum, leaves the church]
[Character actor Jason Beghe defects noisily] | [Actor Michael Fairman reveals his "suppressive person" declaration] | [Michael Fairman talks to the Voice]
[Giovanni Ribisi as David Koresh: Scientology-Branch Davidian link makes sense]
[Russell Brand weds ex-Scientologists in wild ceremony] | [Skip Press on Haggis]
[Placido Domingo Jr.: Scientology's retaliation is "scary and pathetic"]
Grant Cardone, NatGeo's "Turnaround King": [Doing Scientology's dirty work?] | [Milton Katselas complained about Cardone's smear job] | [Cardone runs to Huffpo]
[Philip Boyd, Saving Grace actor, rips "the business that is Scientology"]

JANET REITMAN'S INSIDE SCIENTOLOGY

[Our review of Inside Scientology] | [An interview with Janet Reitman] | [A report from Reitman's first book tour appearance] | [At the Half-King: Reitman not afraid]
[Scientology doesn't like Inside Scientology] | [Q&A at Washington Post]
[A roundup of Reitman's print reviews, and why isn't she on television more?]

HUGH URBAN'S THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY

[A review of Urban's scholarly history of the church] | [An interview with Hugh Urban]

EX-SCIENTOLOGISTS SPEAK OUT

["The Money Machine": another blockbuster St. Pete Times investigation]
[Marc Headley: "Tom Cruise told me to talk to a bottle"] | [The Nancy Many interview]
[Sympathy for the Devil: Tory Christman's Story] | [Jeff Hawkins' Counterfeit Dreams]
[86 Million Thin Dimes: The Lawrence Wollersheim Saga] | [Mike Rinder on spying]

OVERSEAS NEWS

[Scientology in Israel: Arson, attempted murder, paranoia -- and a visit by the Voice!]
[Scientology dodges a bullet in Australia] | [Scientology exec Jan Eastgate arrested]
[All hell breaks loose in Israel] | [Scientology sees fundraising gold in the UK riots]
[Aussie former rugby pro Chris Guider calls David Miscavige "toxic" and "violent"]
[Stephen Cox, UK church newbie, pledges 20K pounds] | [Biggi Reichert: A German Lisa McPherson?] | [The Birmingham trove: 7,000 internal e-mails]
[Australian farmer blamed for giving Tom Cruise a bad shrimp, loses her friends, family]

ODD VIDEOS AND ODDER NEWS

[Scientology chillin' with hip hop!] | [The curious career of Scientology rapper Chill EB]
[Chill EB and me: the Voice interviews Scientology's in-house rapper]
[Scientology singalong, "We Stand Tall"] | [Captain Bill Robertson and "Galactic Patrol"]
[Scientology wins a major award!] | [Scientology wants your money: Meet Dede!]
[Birmingham in the House! The "Ideal" dance mix] | [Scientology and the Nation of Islam]
[When Scientology was hip] | [Sad: David Miscavige makes fun of his own fundraisers]
[Freedom magazine parodies The New Yorker. Hilarity ensues.]
[Scientology surf report: Anonymous parties outside the New York "org"]

THE VIEW INSIDE THE BUBBLE

[A scientologist's letter to the Voice and its readers] | [Scientology silent birth]
[Tad Reeves: Scientology might listen to this guy] | [More Tad Reeves and family]
[Scientology never forgets: A heartwarming telemarketing holiday miracle]
[Desperate Scientology fundraising caught on video]



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92 comments
Chuck Beatty
Chuck Beatty

At the Int Base, there was a sub unit in the various bureaucracies of the people called "Compilers". 

They train on a "Hat" (training manual) consisting of ALL relevant Hubbard orders for how to compile his "timeless tech" into the appropriate "issue type" or book.  

His "Compiler" orders also include how to edit his tape lectures (take out the coughs, take out redundancies and obvious spoken mistakes, including sometimes taking out mention of people who have since left the movement, and take out some things illegal or politically insensitive but that has to be really grossly insensitive comments).

Hubbard DID authorize editing of his lectures, and the whole long list of what he said could be edited, IS in this training hat manual for the "Compilers."

I trained on that hat, although I only assisted on maybe 3 issues written by Hubbard, updating them, per Hubbard's long list of Compiler orders.

I helped on the "Dictionary" bulletin specifically, ensuring the dictionaries in the latest version of that issue were still in existence so that Scientologists were given the dictionaries that were still available for them to buy.   (Hubbard has a "tech" bulletin saying what are the recommended dictionaries to use as a student studying.   Hubbard was prejudiced against the Merriam Webster's line of dictionaries for instance, and thus that brand stayed OFF the list of allowed dictionaries one should use.)

Every "tech" and policy writing by Hubbard, has a submission folder with all the relevant Hubbard notes, manuscripts like his actual typed manuscripts, any marginal comments he made relating to that issue, and any separate private despatch traffic or lecture recording relating to that single issue.   There are tens of thousands of these submission folders at the Int Base.   And the already issued Hubbard 'tech" issues, their submission folders were photo-copied and put on those micro-fish plastic 4 by 6 inch clear plastic sheets, and when I briefly worked at the Int Base under Dan Koon and others in the "Compilations Branch", we had a huge special card file set of ALL of Hubbard's past issues submission folders on micro-fiche, so we could look at the original submission folders to ALL past Hubbard issues.  

In some cases the submission folders had only the typed issue, with some Hubbard notations on it in the margins.   Some had the original "CSW" (Completed Staff Work which is a short 1 or 2 page approval request with Hubbard's initials approving the request,  and sometimes Hubbard made some comments in the margins, giving tweeking comments, and various remarks besides his approval for the compiled "tech" issue or policy).

This is the context of some of what you'd see in the Compilations department at the Int Base.   It had a large file room with tens of thousands of actual recent years submission folders.   I rifled through a lot of the files during the drilling portion of my own compiler training.   I got a sense of how the latest submissions were to be done.   I saw submissions by all the recent personnel then working in the Compilations department, like Dan  Koon's submissions, and Russ Williams' submissions, and other people I'd known over the years who worked in the Compilations department.

The "tech" of Hubbard has a whole long detailed list of do's and don't's which Hubbard wrote the book on for the Compilers.

That is why it is very important that people like Dan Koon and Russ Williams, who can speak freely today, discuss the details of the production of Hubbard's "tech" into it's final format that the followers get.   

There are complexities of it all, which are important, in the Scientological game of playing the one-up-man-ship of who is more "on source" than the next guy.  

Interpreting Hubbard's marginal orders, in the submission folders, and interpreting and deciding by other Hubbard principles how to do the final text for a particular piece of "tech" or policy, sometimes Hubbard was simply NOT clear in what he meant, and it took some tough decision making to make sense and communicate what he was writing or saying.

A lot of times the compilers did make mistakes, in earlier years.  

The principle to use, the guiding principle Hubbard gave to the Compilers though, is whether what he said was "timeless tech" or not.

And that principle applies to "tech" tech, spiritual therapy tech that is, or to policy "tech", and to any other writings, for example his thousands and thousands of writings to the Int Base staffers, to the Gold staffers, about their duties and jobs.

In the late 1980s, there was a "Hats Project" (training manuals project) at the Int Base to compile all of Hubbards tens of thousands of orders to various Int Base sub bureaucracy units of all he wrote, and turn his despatch traffic into "timeless tech"  "issue types" (for instance for Golden Era Productions, the "issue type" for them are called "Golden Era Executive Directives"  or "Gold EDs".; the issue type for Office of Special Affairs are the "OSA Network Orders").

I just happened to be there to work on the OEC Checksheet (the green volumes training syllabus) and intermingled with the various Compilers working there in the Compilations department.   3 people there at that time are free to talk today in detail about anything during those years.  Dan Koon, Russ Williams and Steve Cook.  

There are others who did earlier years' compilations for Hubbard, who can detail the looser but more volatile earlier years compilations work they did for Hubbard.  

I've hoped Dan and Russ would do a compilations history of at least the years they were "on the lines."   Steve has an excellent memory of some important compilations history. 

Paul
Paul

Can we see originals of those letters (scans pdf prefferably) ?

Strelnikov
Strelnikov

Re: January 1971

Mr. Ortega, you know as well as I do that Hubbard has always been opposed to the press, and that Scientology to this very day rejects anybody who is or has ever been a journalist. He sees them as spies and SPs, a position that probably started after the Sonya Bianca fiasco in 1950. In 1971 Hubbard was still living in the aftermath of the 1968 Grenada TV special "The Shrinking World of L. Ron Hubbard"; I would have to guess that there had been a number of articles written in the US and European press, either about Scientology or trying to track down the Commodore. Then Paulette Cooper's book came out, and Hubbard was furious about that.

Now with all that written, I still don't get how Hubbard didn't understand the press when he had worked in a related field (writing for monthly pulp magazines); you would think some of that knowledge would bleed over. 

Guest
Guest

"DDT kills flies. What de-verminates reporters?"

 If you've gotten nothing to hide, L Ron and Scientology belong more in Stalinist Russia or modern day Syria than the land of the free.

mjm
mjm

NY Post's Page 6 just had an item about OSA sifting through Paul Haggis's trash w/ the usual Karin Puow denial.

Sandy4077
Sandy4077

Sorry to be a downer on this discussion but some bad news today out of the Space Telescope Science Institute in Baltimore.  Astronomers are reporting that they have a high degree of confidence that here are at least one hundred billion planets in our Milky Way galaxy.  From just 20 years ago when we did not even have proof of a single exoplanet (L Ron excepted, of course), we now have evidence of an unimaginable number of other worlds around us.  

Think of the ramifications for our poor beleaguered scientology friends.  Once they have managed to finally clear this planet, they will still have 99,999,999,999 to go.  And that is just in this galaxy. I for one do not envy them in their Sisyphean task.

hgc
hgc

Lots of typos. What is flawless, flubless supposed to mean, anyway?

the KSW kid
the KSW kid

Private.

It is with an abundent outawareness that you who critisize, have NEVER had the beginingness to even LOOK !! You mimick and yack as if you knew your knowing was in affluance !! How silly can you be ?? We can not argue and fight with you who have less knowledge of your own wholetrack as we might fight with a whisper of an insect.You can try as you might to -alter-is- the thoughts and mind sets of our group Tony, but it will never happen..We yes We have the TECH that LRH gave us and we will beat down and destroy all, thats right ALL who protest us and wish to disable our group from reaching our goal of clearing this planet and the rest of the universe !! do you really think a handfull of disafected apostates will bring down our group?.Its very simple Tony..one must look at the Auditors Code to see how simple it is for us to HELP,and that is what we are doing..You all are the dransversile of ARC and KSW..you ALL are trying to bring mankind and the universe into condition DANGER and I say HOW DARE YOU!!

For the sake of all Tony, stop NOW or you have no idea what your eternity will be..Do you really want to live in a COLD and DARK nothingness?? thats what awaits if you and your ilk do not open up and realize and enjoy the teachings of LRH.

You must understand I am going out on a limb to tell you this, but am doing so with the ARC and KSW datum ingested throughout.Stop what you are doing Tony, YOU ARE helping to destroy mankind and our planet, we Scientologists are trying to MAKE IT RIGHT!!You see Tony YOU are AT-CAUSE with our Present Time Problem and I am here to put in KSW so get the fuck off your ass Tony and LOOK at the REAL CHURCH!!!

Schockenawd
Schockenawd

LRH is assigned a condition of ridiculousness.

Garry90069
Garry90069

There is an ESMB post that refers to Decki Lee Moate (not Le Moate) as being a new recruit waiting for a sea sled to pick her up and take her to the Apollo when it was docked in the Setubal, Portugal Harbor in 1970.  Deckey Dekki Lee Moate has a Facebook page.. and resides in California.

LeeAnneClark
LeeAnneClark

I simply cannot understand how the independents can read this effluvia and STILL think there is anything of value that came out of that warped, psychotic mind.  It baffles and irritates me to no end. 

I mean come on, folks:  you managed to "cognite" that the church itself is an evil cult that exists for the sole purpose of separating fools from their money.  You got that part.  Why still hang desperately onto the fiction that there is ANYTHING real in the engram-and-alien dogma?  It's ALL bullshit!  It was ALL spawned from the mind of a madman, designed to control your minds and get your money.

Just look at the way he writes.  He has completely twisted the English language around into his own weird-ass language so that you have to be able to think like he does to understand any of it.  You have to suspend normal use of language, and in fact alter your own thought patterns to be more like his.  How does this not jump out at you?  How do you still find the slightest modicum of respect for this sick fuck, much less continue to worship him like a god?

I do kinda understand how people fall for it all to begin with, and I get how, after investing so much, it's hard to accept the reality that none of it is real.  It's hard, but it's possible.  Look at Claire Headley...in Tony's recent story about Tom Cruise, she made it clear that, while she used to believe all the auditing crap, she now recognizes that it's all bullshit.  And she can laugh about it.

LRH is the best example of "the emperor's got no clothes" ever seen in modern times. The only question is, when are y'all going to start pointing and laughing?

Scorchio
Scorchio

Some(one)thing tells me 2012 will be veeeeeeery cute!

"It's the price I guess,For the lies I've told,,That the truth it no longer thrills me!"

Released by my beautiful boys but how fucking apt for what is about to come! .......... Hi Maaaaaaaahhhhtaaay! 

Welcome to 2012!  This WILL be a good year! 

bobx
bobx

In earlier weeks he did show some of the typewritten pages.

sketto
sketto

He didn't like the press because the press usually looks into bullshit stories and exposes them. Now we all know why Hubbard wouldn't want THAT!

Paul
Paul

the problem with reporters that most of them will lie even if supplied with truth or facts. No need to point reasons for that - there is plenty. Money - one of them as source of all the evil.Even if 90% of reporters are good honest people - 10% will do unrecoverable damage to anyone.

The Scientologist
The Scientologist

100 billion is a conservative estimate actually. It's probably far more than that.

V for Vacation
V for Vacation

Is that 100 planets a year for Sea Org lifers? That will require super powers.

sketto
sketto

First time I ever saw a Scientology video, I didn't know much about the cult other than it seemed full of half-baked 1950's sci-fi shit, like those e-meters. Then I kept hearing all of them using these terms: flaw, flub, bugs, tangled, unraveled. And I started to think "Damn, there must be a lot of problems with this auditing shit if the biggest thing they have to talk about is how they've now figured out all of those problems."

And then I thought, "What an awesome con."

Lliira
Lliira

Great parody, but I'm stuck on this word: "dransversile". What?

LeeAnneClark
LeeAnneClark

Oh SNAP!  We been "Poe'd!" Just click on the KSW kid's avatar and it will show you previous posts from this person, including these snippets:

"I will "foul" as many $cientologists as i wish Marco, and you cant stop me.... I am "fouling" you right now, you douche-bag."

"I have looked Marco!! the W.D.C. Org is empty, I counted 7 staff and 3 public FOR AN ENTIRE DAY last week ... 10 people is more mediocre the "meteoric" Marco.You fail again in your attempt to dissuade those that know the truth and persuade those that no nothing."

"Marco, the fact is, there are more critics of $cientology then there are members of the "church" of L Ron Douche-bag...and it's proven Marco, I'm sure you have seen the DOX this is not ad homonym you maggot this IS THE TRUTH!!! Your poor little cult is dying on the vine, and you Marco, are going down with it.....little tiny maggot marco....pooof , yer done!!!!"

So yeah, that's what it feels like to get Poe'd.  Love it!  Thanks for the laugh, KSW kid!

Sid
Sid

Gosh, we thought Scientologists were seriously disturbed before you spoke up and put us right on that.

Why are you going out on a limb to speak here? Is communication that dangerous? I thought it was the universal solvent? Or perhaps you've just been conditioned to believe that criticism is entheta.

Best not to mention you've been here on your next sec-check, or it could cost you big time. Sounds to me as though you're trapped in a cult mind-fuck, but what would I know?

Thetan-X
Thetan-X

Realy douche-bag what language are you speaking ?? Venition??

petrat
petrat

Hey "uber alles" Kid "pipe down"!

LeeAnneClark
LeeAnneClark

Once again we have Poe's Law in action:  "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."  In other words, it's often impossible to distinguish between parodies of religious fundamentalism and its genuine proponents, since they both seem equally insane.

This post comes across as such raving lunacy that it's hard to believe that it's not a brilliant parody.  Except for the fact that, well, Scientology is nothing but raving lunacy!  So, sadly, I have no choice but to believe that this person really is for real.  How pathetically sad.  But funny.

Xenu
Xenu

It appears that she has moved to Montana, and is terminally ill.  If anyone wants to collect her story, they should probably act very soon.

Tonyhasawoppa
Tonyhasawoppa

Awwww! Try not to be baffled and irritated so much! P.S. Who wrote the bible! Do you think that was a warped and psychotic mind too? Happy Friday! I'm off for a margarita or three!

NCSP
NCSP

I only understand your first and last paragraphs, but if your nick is from where I think it's from, I'm prepared to forgive you anything.

Boutros Boutros-Ghali!

sketto
sketto

It's also possibly 100 billion dollars for Miscavige judging by his current rate of 1 billion amassed per planet.

Reasonable_Insanity
Reasonable_Insanity

Yeah something like Xenu's Super Friends Power Thetan Squadron!

Da da daah! Here we come to clear the day!!

Thetan-X
Thetan-X

So the Kid is a Troll ....or NOT ?

LeeAnneClark
LeeAnneClark

LOL Hello OSA!  No, the people who wrote the Bible were uneducated, superstitious Middle-eastern men living in the desert some 2000 years ago, writing in a long-dead language that has been translated, mis-translated, and re-translated so many times over the millenia that any resemblance of the current Bible to what they actually wrote is strictly coincidental.  Can't tell if they were psychotic because frankly none of us know what any of them really wrote.

Please don't drink and drive. :)

Sid
Sid

Eff, eff, eff, eff.....Chris Waddle.

LeeAnneClark
LeeAnneClark

Totally!  And it's just so interesting to get a peek into the insane mind of a real live Sciloon.

scnethics
scnethics

Likely a Scientologist for whom English is a second language, but per Poe's Law, it is impossible to know!

Thetan-X
Thetan-X

"Golly Geeperz" I hope the "kid" is real !!! beats the pants off marco.  duh!!!!

NOTseriously
NOTseriously

Well, s/he doesn't know how to post vs. e-mail (note the "private" at beginning of the post). But most of the parody writers use proper grammar, so I'd assume this is a real live Sciloon. Sounds like maybe not a native speaker of English, but it could be a result of too much exposure to LRH-speak during formative years.

DO
DO

thanks PKD

sketto
sketto

Weak and unfunny.

sketto
sketto

I've read both the history of the bible and the bible itself as it exists today and if you do so too, you'll find that it's hard to keep track of all the untrue and contradictory things within it. The best criticism of the bible is found within the bible itself and this fact is tremendous proof that it was written by fallible men who were just making shit up, some of it true, some of it half-true, and way too much of it obviously false and immoral. 

And that sounds a lot like L Ron Hubbard.

Frolix8
Frolix8

I've read all you have mentioned. Oddly, there is no mention of Scientology or its history in the Hebrew or Christian testaments. Not good source material if one is discussing Scientology which we are.

V for Vacation
V for Vacation

...but LRH says all that Christian stuff is just an implant...

DO
DO

My goal in hanging out here is to promote evil and engage in ruinous soul-sucking (both financial and, uh, the actual soul).  In my spare time, I seek to pressure people into slave labor, and I've also been known as "Warden DO" in a private prison that I've established at the local YMCA.

LeeAnneClark
LeeAnneClark

Actually I do have a strong interest in Scientology.  It stems from my social activism:  I believe in fighting to right wrongs and to stop evil people from harming others.  Scientology is an evil, soul-sucking, financially ruinous cult that harms people.  I do my best to add my voice to stop the evil.

I also am heavily involved in fighting for gay civil rights, stopping TSA abuse of innocent travelers, ending the GOP's war on women, and various other social activism.  I don't need to read books full of supernatural myths to do any of that.

To my knowledge, Chabad-Lubovitch doesn't defraud people out of all of their money, force its women to have abortions, pressure children to work slave-labor for pennies per hour, lock people up in private prisons and force them to do hard labor for years for thought-crimes, or separate families and keep mothers from seeing their children...these are the domain of Scientology.  That's why I "hang out" here.  You?

DO
DO

I wonder if you hang out on, say, Lubavitch sites and say similarly?  Because you certainly seem to have a fondness for hanging out here and commenting on things which you have no interest in!

LeeAnneClark
LeeAnneClark

I'm no more interested in the Bible than I am the Koran or the Torah or Dianetics. It's all balderdash...myths sprung from the minds of men who need to invent supernatural stories to help them deal with the unknowns of life. 

scnethics
scnethics

Why?  I'm so enjoying reading these embarrassing bits from the Commodore!

scnethics
scnethics

We're all lucky the Internet came after his time.  I know he seems like a moron, but he did manage to create a powerful cult.   I'm sure he would have been craftier in his management of the Church into the Information Age than slappy. 

DO
DO

As with just about every religion!  Heck, whilst on the subject of the Bible, read Acts of the Apostles and the fury between James and Paul about circumcision.  Or read Paul's Epistle to the Galatians (which still exists partly in original form, btw), where there's a huge kerfuffle about whether Gentile Christians need to follow Mosaic Law.

Sid
Sid

Poor old Hubbard, if only he was at cause over MEST, and had foreseen the Internet, he wouldn't seem like such a moron.

scnethics
scnethics

I prefer to read the history of Scientology.  So many primary sources.  So much dirt!

Just look at what Tony is bringing to the masses - SOURCE!  Isn't it wonderful?

DO
DO

I suggest you read more on the history of the Bible, because what you are saying is demonstrably false.  Research redaction criticism, synoptic gospels.

Oh, and the New Testament was written in Greek, hardly a dead language.  (Although it has changed quite a bit.)

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