Mitt Romney Condoms, 'for Anyone With an Elitist Penis,' Hit the Market

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And now we present a form of birth control that will make people want to be abstinent. Forever.

Runnin' Scared introduces the Mitt Romney condom -- recently unveiled by the same New York company that first marketed Barack Obama rubbers in 2008 (h/t New York Post).

Say It With a Condom's "Never Settle" model, available for $4.95, is perfect for "anyone with an elitist penis" and "great for any position" (yuk yuk yuk), according to the website.

The geniuses behind this gagphylactic, listing its many "features and benefits," make promises rivaling those of ANY political candidate:

"Romney Condoms are tax free so even the poor can afford them"; "this is one 'safety net' that doesn't have any holes"; and "keeps unemployment low by preventing additions to the work force" are among the not-so-sexy slogans.

If Mitt Romney condoms don't satisfy your cravings for soft-making shtick, consider the Sarah Palin variety (when abortion is not an option) or the John McCain offering (old but not expired).

Follow Victoria Bekiempis @vicbekiempis.


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BOYS IN THE BAND
BOYS IN THE BAND

I think that they will be a big sell in the Morman Tabernacle Choir! If you catch my driftage. I don't think the Mormans want that to come out of the cloak room-closet? We all remember what happened to the Catholic Church and thier ongoing dilemma!  TRUTH IS SOME TIMES QUEERER THAN FIXATION!

Strelnikov
Strelnikov

"For the man who puts his dog in a kennel on the roof of his car and drives until the dog pees himself."

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