Scientology on the High Seas: Squirrel Cookery!

In November we started a new feature here on Fridays: the Voice has obtained hundreds of copies of L. Ron Hubbard's previously unpublished "Orders of the Day," which he gave to crew members as he sailed the Mediterranean. Our documents cover the period from late 1968 through 1971, and this time we're looking at what was happening the week of January 29 through February 4 during those years.

After the jump, Hubbard explains how heretics can't even follow a recipe...

[Confused? Go here for our primer, "What is Scientology?" For recent controversies in the church, check out our stories on Debbie Cook, secrets of the Super Power Building, and spying on Tom Cruise. We know these 40-year-old ship's documents aren't for everyone, but they've been giving us some interesting insights into the mind of Hubbard as he ran Scientology from a yacht in the Mediterranean. Check back here often for more breaking news about the church.]


January 29


All semblance of anything that could be called "Hippiness" must be eradicated for the next month.

Better get started now on haircuts and beard off or trim.

Be sure you haven't only got miniskirts.

The PRO mock up for your next month is very proper personal appearance.

Clean cloths, clean braid, clean shirts for the officers. Lots of baths.

Sleek personal appearance is the watch word for the next month.

It fits in with why you are going on this cruise.



January 29: LRH, healer.


Down through the years since AD0, there have been an awful lot of case wins. The old AOA for instance was an avalanche of them. Earlier the Power wins and earlier the grades and so on back it goes.

The delayed response wins are the most heartening.

One of the first huge wins I ever had was in 48 in Hell's Kitchen New York where a truck driver with an infected foot was about to suffer an amputation. They dragged him off to the hospital and I thought, well there it goes. But years later when Book I came out he wrote me, saying the hospital had been amazed, had not operated and he took the opportunity to thank me for still having his foot!

There have been other delayed action wins. A medical doctor in Birmingham that I made a long trip to see. He was in apathy, about to die. When I left it still looked hopeless. But a year later I met him coming out of the Registrar's Office, HASI London, hale and hearty and he thanked me for his life.

So immediate wins are very heartening. You know about those. But sometimes you work and it doesn't seem to come off and then years later you find it did it after all.



January 30: A quick mention of the Celebrity Center...


Celebrity Center doing very well. GI Affluence Trend since last SEPT! How do you like that! Hats off and a highly commended to Diana H., Yvonne Gillham and all the crew!



January 31: Smersh took its best shot, but LRH's reputation in the press is soaring...


It is of interest to Scientologists that the clamor raised over the years by Smersh about me and all the hard names called have not even faintly affected my membership in various and numerous high level associations and scientific societies and clubs.

The list of these are quite long and all of them are a big "high and mighty" in the arts, sciences and social stratas.

I was just looking at my influx of magazines and notices of meetings and it struck me as rather funny that the highest of our detractors would give his back molars to be accepted into some of these groups.

I also hadn't realized the list was so long. Most of them black ball first and think about it afterwards. Yet for twenty years they have been very serene.

So don't get into the notion that the "power of the press" has any real bearing on the world. According to this testimony of personal repute, the opposition might as well have spent their time yelling into a well.

Thought it would be of some interest to you.

US and UK press and TV have been quite favorable lately.

Bolivar gets radio and TV press coverage like the presidential yacht. Bob Young does a marvelous job on this and he runs a very pretty ship.

(I wonder if anyone has told Bob he could fly the flag of West Coast Yacht Club, of which I am a long time member.)

So year by year the stats rise and reputation grows.

And during all this time my own personal repute has remained very high in the places that matter.

In the long view we are doing a very good job. Our only complaint is that we could do better and do it faster.

But remember, it IS getting done.


February 2: Heretics can't even get recipes right...


There is squirrel tech. In this an auditor runs off beat non-standard processes. We've long since handled this.

There is squirrel admin. People who have out admin TRs and do not know basic lines add to standard lines or knock them out. We are working to handle this with OEC, FEBC and Admin TRs now being done and further developed.

There is also squirrel cookery. This normally arises from not having the proper ingredients to hand (supply failure) and not having anyone to wash and slice and peel raw materials so they can be cooked. A standard meal comes from planned menu, correct supply, correct preparation of raw materials and following the exact recipe. From this comes edible meals.

This goes into other lines of tech as well.



February 4: LRH can only conclude that Scientology is doing well after getting the final tally of his Christmas gifts.


Odd time of the year to speak about Christmas. But in this case its a statistic.

Public Popularity increase over the world was very marked this last Christmas. The general public response was up very nearly 35 percent over previous years. The volume of public cards to me personally would indicate an increased popularity of Scientology by a full third!

Gifts were 40 - 45 percent higher than in previous years.

While it was joy from hearing from so many at the time, now in retrospect, it can be viewed as confirming a general public upsurge.

My hard working personal staffers here and in other areas were impressed with the increase. In previous years it was already enormous. My staffs work for many week after Christmas caring for the flow, the address corrections and tabulations and do an excellent job of it.

So the full picture is now in and the fact emerges. Public Popularity has increased a full third.



That last item might be the saddest one we've excerpted so far. LRH, it is hard not to conclude, was simply a sad, lonely man. Am I wrong?

Tony Ortega is the editor-in-chief of The Village Voice. Since 1995, he's been writing about Scientology at several publications. | @VoiceTonyO | Facebook: Tony Ortega

Keep up on all of our New York news coverage at this blog, Runnin' Scared


[All recent stories] | [What is Scientology?] | [Top 25 People Crippling Scientology]
[Commenters of the Week] | [Thursday 2pm Stats!] | [Scientology vs. South Park]
[This Week Aboard the Apollo] | [Sunday Funnies]


[Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis secretly recorded discussing "disconnection"]
[Benjamin Ring, LA deputy sheriff, wants you to spend your 401K on Scientology]
[Scientologists: How many of them are there, anyway?]
[Scientology hates clean ice: The "Fair Game" operation that should turn your stomach]
[Scientology hates clean ice, part 2: Another target, and the web as weapon]
[Paulette Cooper, Scientology's original and worst nightmare: a Thanksgiving tribute]


1. L. Ron Hubbard | 2. David Miscavige | 3. Marty Rathbun | 4. Tom Cruise | 5. Joe Childs and Tom Tobin | 6. Anonymous | 7. Mark Bunker | 8. Mike Rinder | 9. Jason Beghe | 10. Lisa McPherson | 11. Nick Xenophon | 12. Tommy Davis | 13. Janet Reitman | 14. Tory Christman | 15. Andreas Heldal-Lund | 16. Marc and Claire Headley | 17. Jefferson Hawkins | 18. Amy Scobee | 19. The Squirrel Busters | 20. Trey Parker and Matt Stone | 21. Kendrick Moxon | 22. Jamie DeWolf | 23. Ken Dandar | 24. Dave Touretzky | 25. Xenu


[Valeska Paris, held against her will from 1996 to 2007 on Scientology's cruise ship]
[Ramana Dienes-Browning, marriage at 16, sexual interrogation, life in the engine room]
[Melissa Paris, Valeska's sister: forced to marry at 16]


[Scientology targeted South Park's Parker and Stone in an investigation]
[More documents in the South Park probe: instructions to send in a young mole]
[Scientology responds in typical fashion] | [Lloyd Kaufman confirms the probe]
[Mark Ebner also investigated after South Park involvement]
[Mark Chauppetta, private eye, explains what Scientology operatives look for]


[Scientology has Rathbun arrested] | [Rathbun and Mark Bunker reveal surprising ties]
In Germany with Ursula Caberta: [Announcing plans] | [Press conference] | [Making news about Tom Cruise, Bill Clinton, and Tony Blair] | [Post-trip interview]
The Squirrel Busters: [Goons with cameras on their heads] | [Rathbun's open letter to neighbors] | [Ingleside on the Bay, Texas rallies to Rathbun's cause] | [Squirrel Buster's claim to be making a "documentary"] | [VIDEO: "On a Boat"] | ["Anna" sent to creep out Monique Rathbun] | [Squirrel Busters go hillbilly] | [A videographer blows the whistle on the goon squad] | [Ed Bryan, OT VIII, shows the power of Scientology's highest levels]


[Secret Scientology documents spell out spying operation against Marc Headley]
[Scientology's West U.S. spies list revealed] | [Scientology's enemies list: Are you on it?]
Spy operation against Washington Post writer Richard Leiby: [Part 1] | [Part 2]
[A Scientology spy comes clean: Paulien Lombard's remarkable public confession]
[Scientology advertises for writers in Freedom magazine]
[Accidental leak shows Scientology spy wing plans to "handle" the Voice]
[Lori Hodgson and Disconnection: "No one's going to take my eternity away"]


[Hey, Scientology Celebrity, Here's Your Media Training Checksheet!]
[Tom Cruise and X Factor's Stacy Francis singing together on the Freewinds]
[X Factor's Stacy Francis: Her first husband, Michael Sandlofer, answers abuse claims]
[Tom Cruise and Baby Suri embarrassed by news item, so someone must pay]
["Tom Cruise told me to talk to a bottle"] | [Tom Cruise likes coconut cake] | [Tom Cruise has a sense of humor] | ["Tom Cruise not a kook!"] | [Paulette Cooper on Tom Cruise]
[Paul Haggis, director of Crash, issues an ultimatum, leaves the church]
[Character actor Jason Beghe defects noisily] | [Actor Michael Fairman reveals his "suppressive person" declaration] | [Michael Fairman talks to the Voice]
[Giovanni Ribisi as David Koresh: Scientology-Branch Davidian link makes sense]
[Russell Brand weds ex-Scientologists in wild ceremony] | [Skip Press on Haggis]
[Placido Domingo Jr.: Scientology's retaliation is "scary and pathetic"]
Grant Cardone, NatGeo's "Turnaround King": [Doing Scientology's dirty work?] | [Milton Katselas complained about Cardone's smear job] | [Cardone runs to Huffpo]
[Philip Boyd, Saving Grace actor, rips "the business that is Scientology"]


[Our review of Inside Scientology] | [An interview with Janet Reitman] | [A report from Reitman's first book tour appearance] | [At the Half-King: Reitman not afraid]
[Scientology doesn't like Inside Scientology] | [Q&A at Washington Post]
[A roundup of Reitman's print reviews, and why isn't she on television more?]


[A review of Urban's scholarly history of the church] | [An interview with Hugh Urban]


["The Money Machine": another blockbuster St. Pete Times investigation]
[Marc Headley: "Tom Cruise told me to talk to a bottle"] | [The Nancy Many interview]
[Sympathy for the Devil: Tory Christman's Story] | [Jeff Hawkins' Counterfeit Dreams]
[86 Million Thin Dimes: The Lawrence Wollersheim Saga] | [Mike Rinder on spying]


[Scientology in Israel: Arson, attempted murder, paranoia -- and a visit by the Voice!]
[Scientology dodges a bullet in Australia] | [Scientology exec Jan Eastgate arrested]
[All hell breaks loose in Israel] | [Scientology sees fundraising gold in the UK riots]
[Aussie former rugby pro Chris Guider calls David Miscavige "toxic" and "violent"]
[Stephen Cox, UK church newbie, pledges 20K pounds] | [Biggi Reichert: A German Lisa McPherson?] | [The Birmingham trove: 7,000 internal e-mails]
[Australian farmer blamed for giving Tom Cruise a bad shrimp, loses her friends, family]


[Scientology chillin' with hip hop!] | [The curious career of Scientology rapper Chill EB]
[Chill EB and me: the Voice interviews Scientology's in-house rapper]
[Scientology singalong, "We Stand Tall"] | [Captain Bill Robertson and "Galactic Patrol"]
[Scientology wins a major award!] | [Scientology wants your money: Meet Dede!]
[Birmingham in the House! The "Ideal" dance mix] | [Scientology and the Nation of Islam]
[When Scientology was hip] | [Sad: David Miscavige makes fun of his own fundraisers]
[Freedom magazine parodies The New Yorker. Hilarity ensues.]
[Scientology surf report: Anonymous parties outside the New York "org"]


[A scientologist's letter to the Voice and its readers] | [Scientology silent birth]
[Tad Reeves: Scientology might listen to this guy] | [More Tad Reeves and family]
[Scientology never forgets: A heartwarming telemarketing holiday miracle]
[Desperate Scientology fundraising caught on video]

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
Gold Coast straighten teeth
Gold Coast straighten teeth

The wires were then fitted and I got the colours over the top. They have heaps of colours at Gold Coast Orthodontists.   

Chuck Beatty
Chuck Beatty

Thanks for the conclusive proof  that L. Ron Hubbard was NOT a bumbling, bungling self-promoting squirrel cookery eating Scientology (pseudo-quack-therapy-dead-space-alien-exorcism-religion) Founder/Leader.    You showed us!   I never knew Ron  was a member of the  highly respected West Coast Yacht Club!

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

Too Funny,... to compare Ron's elation from counting his Christmas Cards/Gifts in 1970 and measuring them against the previous years to 'prove' his surging stat in popularity...

Today a kid in flip-flops and a sweatshirt is measuring his popularity too...Only, the 'Kid' did not do it for the money.... (wink).

I think it is safe to say ... at this point ... that the flip-flop kid has won thepopularity contest.

SP 'Onage
SP 'Onage

Sorry for the derail, but Debbie Cook's TRO was not dissolved today, thought you might like to know. :-(

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

A song can make it a little easier to remember what the 1970's were like....

The Top Ten 70's Songs That Mom and Dad Hated:

1. Tonight's The Night - Rod Stewart 2. Cocaine - Eric Clapton3. My Ding-A-Ling - Chuck Berry4. Good Girls Don't - The Knack5. No No Song - Ringo Starr6. Wildwood Weed - Jim Srafford7. I Shot The Sheriff - Eric Clapton8. One Toke Over The Line - Brewer & Shipley9. Theme From Shaft - Isaac Hayes10. Lola - Kinks

Top Ten 70's Songs That Everybody Hated:

1. Clap For The Wolfman - Guess Who2. Don't Give Up On Us - David Soul3. Run Joey Run - David Geddes4. Tusk - Fleetwood Mac5. Tubular Bells - Mike Oldfield6. Let Her In - John Travolta7. O-o-h Child - The 5 Stairsteps8. Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes9. Silly Love Songs - Wings10. Muskrat Love - Captain and Tenille

Note: this is just a re-post from a music industry list... not my personal picks.


  Scientology is not the only religion bothered by squirrels.  A Protestant church was once plagued by squirrels running across the lawn in front of the church, day in and day out.  People kept stepping on them.  It was annoying.  Nothing seemed to work--not scarecrows, not sprays, not fences, the squirrels kept darting around, causing a nuisance.  Then, the Church got an idea: make the squirrels members of the church.

  Now the squirrels only come by on Christmas and Easter.


So last week he taught us what the definition of filing was, and this week we learn what constitutes cooking. Maybe he was a genius after all! Just think what more he could have a achieved if he didn't have to sit in his office for a month counting and tabulating his Christmas gifts and cards.


Slave master on a slave ship


This is just more proof that Hubbard was farting around in the Mediterranean and that he knew it. The guy we see in these OODs is a busybody self-promoter and taskmaster.


Immortal Commodores need to feel popular and loved, too!  Guess those affirmations ("You are as sensitive and sexy as Pan," etc.) just weren't enough.


We in RTC note Tony Ortega's SP penchant for posting Apollo OOD's from 45 years ago instead of reporting on the 471,275,698 lives Scientology changed for the better in 2011. In one dramatic case, a man had a flat tire on a busy and dangerous Southern California freeway. A Scientology Volunteer minister driving by pulled over to help. The VM called roadside assistance and had the man's tire changed. The VM gave the man a copy of Dianetics and a locational.

The man's IQ went up 51 points and his life immediately and miraculously improved in the highly nonspecific, somewhat vague, and intangible ways that are unique to Scientology. The VM was Tom Cruise.

In another case, a young man  who was the star quarterback on the football team at his high school, found himself in court being ordered to take a regimen of heavy Psych drugs.


Because a Psych had told the court he was bipolar and acting out.

The young man's crime?

"Acting out" at his public school by objecting to the Psych lie that says humans evolved from the mud. This teenage boy knew that man was an immortal spirit and that this entire nonsense about "Evolution" was a Psych lie designed to convince people that there is no spiritual help  and so they should take Psych drugs and engage in useless psychotherapy where they prattle on for years with no case gain. All this does is make Psychiatry wealthy while doing society no good.

Again, a VM in the courtroom saw the real problem: The Psych-controlled public school system that wants to enslave young people using drugs to turn them into zombies. The VM intervened and got the young man into a Scientology Delphi school where he would not be enturbulated. The VM also took the young man into extensive private auditing sessions for life changing wins. That VM was John Travolta.

These are just a few of the wins that Tony Ortega does not want you to know about. Please do not support Tony Ortega. Please donate to the IAS today.


One of those super-swanky mystery clubs Hubbard claimed to belong to was "The Explorer's Club," as referenced in this letter from a bank to the Navy:

"Gentlemen,We are appealing to you, believing that your office might assist us in collecting a promissory note in the amount of $250.00 signed by the above captioned Naval Officer . . .Mr. Hubbard has been notified regularly and often, and he has promised to make good the note, always in the near future. We feel that we have been very lienient [sic] with him, giving him the opportunity to get his affairs in shape, but in our last letter to him addressed care of the Explorers Club, apparently his permanent address, we informed him that we must appeal to his superiors. This notice was on July 10th. 1942, since which time we have heard nothing . . .We are sorry to have to take this step and it is difficult to believe that he would put us in this position."

Barbara Snow
Barbara Snow

"The list of these [various and numerous high level associations and scientific societies and clubs.] are [sic] quite long and all of them are a big "high and mighty" in the arts, sciences and social stratas.... the highest of our detractors would give his back molars to be accepted into some of these groups.[most of which] black ball first and think about it afterwards."

Psychology Today's definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. Narcissists may concentrate on unlikely personal outcomes (e.g., fame) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. Related Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic. Narcissism is a less extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity-a love of mirrors. Related personality traits include: Psychopathy, Machiavellianism.Narcissists tend to have high self-esteem. However, narcissism is not the same thing as self-esteem; people who have high self-esteem are often humble, whereas narcissists rarely are. It was once thought that narcissists have high self-esteem on the surface, but deep down they are insecure. However, the latest evidence indicates that narcissists are actually secure or grandiose at both levels. Onlookers may infer that insecurity is there because narcissists tend to be defensive when their self-esteem is threatened (e.g., being ridiculed); narcissists can be aggressive. The sometimes dangerous lifestyle may more generally reflect sensation-seeking or impulsivity (e.g., risky sex, bold financial decisions).I

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

The self-declared commodore just never stops making claims with nothing to back it up...

Exclusive high level Clubs, Societies, Associations just clamoring to have him as a member, So exactly what are the names of these groups?? Who are these illustrious elite?

Reminds me of the Golden Era Video they made about the Historical "Greatest Moment In the History of Mankind" where Hubbard confers with the greatest minds of our time... who are his personal friends, of course... (highly suggesting that Will Durant was one them).... no faces are shown... it is like an FDR moment where the profound and grave decision is made that Ron must pursue the creation of Scientology, the fate of Mankind hangs in the balance.... lot's of 'Oval Office' undertones and momentous orchestration... but in the end names

.All throughout Scientology it is the same... Where is the Work? ... What are the Names...

 Bullshit. (that's Texan for 'I do not believe you').


Any idea on what time the Debbie Cook hearing is today? 

Ivy Mapother
Ivy Mapother

And some where in the west, a very short man is singing "We Stand Tall." Oh the irony.

John P.
John P.

You missed a couple:  

On the "Mom and Dad Hated" list, my mother would nearly have a seizure when Paul Anka's "Havin' My Baby" came on, 'cos it advocated having kids out of wedlock.  

On the "everybody hated," you forgot: 

*   "Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas, and *   "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks.  

"Tubular Bells" doesn't belong on a list of worst-of-the-70s songs.  That was actually pretty cool in a pretentious, dropped-too-much-acid prog rock sort of way.  

Scientology in the early 70s, disco in the late 70s.  What a decade!


Don't forget - he also invented music!!

And he wrote the definitive book on art, called "Art"!!  It describes in easy to understand steps how to create art! 

For instance, never mix circles and octagons!  That's a big no-no.

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

"Life immediately and miraculously improves in the highly nonspecific, somewhat vague, and intangible ways that are unique to Scientology."

Love that writing.... would love to see that pop up on Plasma Screens across the country during Half Time of the Super Bowl while the fat gut dudes are quaffing beers and slogging chili ...


How could Tom Cruise help, if he said he passed by? The good samaritain stopped, sounds like he drove on.  Perhaps his magical super powers enabled him help even though he passed by. 

Does that really sound like helping someone, I dont think so Tom Cruise. Get your head out from under your Ass

John P.
John P.

It is touching that Tom Cruise walks the walk and doesn't just talk the talk about "when you drive past an accident, it’s not like anyone else... you know you’re the only one that can really help."  I'm so moved by Mr. Cruise's calling the roadside assistance people that the poor motorist had obviously been incapable of calling on his own initiative that I'd love to know where I could send a check to buy ten sets of The Basics.  Then I can be life #471,275,699 changed for the better by Scientology in 2011.  

When courageous Volunteer Minister John Travolta took that young, athletic, sweaty, muscular young man into his home for all that volunteer counseling, had he mastered the oiliness perceptic in the Super Power building?  

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

The Explorer's Club of New York City still exists and they have posted their members of fifty years... without a doubt, a very distinguished group of men... but no L.R. Hubbard??

Now, I do see that the Publisher of the New York Times has been a member of 50 years ... so obviously Arthur must know Lafayette quite well...

Who wants to go first and call him up and ask?



I note that his yacht club was not one with a marina and clubhouse, but rather one operated out of a PO box.  They may be a fine bunch for all I know, but it made me think of Sequoia University.


Yes, I love the unsupported claims that Hubbard constantly makes too, for their sheer audacity if nothing else. In fact, I think that it's one of the defining characteristics of a Scientologist - the willingness to say "oh gosh, that's wonderful" instead of "Is that really true?"

But for the true Scientologist, those who swallow his bullshit the best, he at least has the consideration to give them "proof" of his impact by claiming that he got a letter from a guy years later, claiming to still have a foot! Clearly that's ironclad evidence that Scientology works.


O ye of little faith!  FDR would have given his back molars to be admitted to the West Coast Yacht Club.

BTW, what was the Bolivar? And Vaughn Young's connection to it?


These societies, clubs and people were "various and numerous." And if you lose a foot, it may grow back later if you read Book I. This is factual.


Also, I believe the Tampa Bay Times has a local stringer on the scene, so they may have a story up, as well as local press, which I hear is taking an interest.


I just called (about noon Friday) and was told Jeffrey was at court, and we probably wouldn't hear anything until the end of the day -- and the judge might take things under advisement over the weekend. I'll keep checking.

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

Lucky for Sol LeWitt that he did not know about Ron's Discoveries...


We in RTC applaud you John P. You are another wog reaching for Scientology. We welcome your donation for the Basics. You are now life #471,275,699 changed by Scientology.

PS: You seem familiar to us; were you a last life Clear?


Here's a wild one for you. When I left Celebrity Centre staff I went on a game show and won enough money to retire for a year and become a writer (Knockout on NBC in case you're wondering). First professional writers organization I joined was the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America. I get the members booklet (I think it came out once a month, maybe quarterly) and it had pages listing new and renewed memberships. There was my name, I was so proud. And right above my name was ... L. Ron Hubbard. I still have it. He'd just started writing sci-fi again. Why would he want to join? Because he was endlessly concerned with his status in the world. 


That would be fantastic!  One thing is clearly documented in countless letters from Hubbard... that he claimed to be a lifetime member of the Explorer's Club of New York!!

And it does look like they have strict entry criterion (e.g., you have to make contributions to scientific exploration), just like Hubbard said!  


The Bolivar was a training ship, like the Excalibur.  I think the Bob Young mentioned is unrelated to RVY.

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

Mark... for making me smile.. here is one for you... true story..

It's another Apollo story.... one of the crew .. probably some untrained goof from northern California or something... well he messed up his foot something awful on cable and pulleys and his foot was all mangled with blood pooling everywhere... so Ron comes along and sees this mess with this crew member screaming in agony and Ron says something to the effect of "well you've gotten yourself into a fine mess now".... and the crew guy is just screaming so hard the bats are falling out of the sky ... so Ron starts waving his hands around in the air and uttering some sort of language ... and the guy is still screaming in agony and Ron just looks at him and tells him to look at his foot ... so he does ... and it is just fine blood, gashes anywhere... just like it was before... and Ron walks on by him saying something along the lines of .....'don't let it happen again'... and this Story was told to me in an into the wee hours talk-a-thon with staff and ex-sea org present.... all present were just glowing with a big smile... because the old man knew how to "Turn Back Time"... 

If anyone else has heard this Yarn... ?


MySanantonio has an article up. Temporary restraining order loosened but not lifted, it seems.

John P.
John P.

You nailed it.  I was a past-life clear on planet Mizar 5, one of the most beautiful pleasure planets in the Marcabian Confederation.  Mizar 5 had its own Bridge to Total Freedom.  As two of our greatest poets, known for their "steely" gaze into the future, wrote about the place, 

"Have you heard about the boom on Mizar-5   People got to shout to stay alive They don't even have policeman but one Doesn't matter where you been or what you've done" 

I'm signing in now, stranger...


I know who most of those women are and have met half of them. When I first saw that pic I flipped over Suzette and wrote Hubbard asking if I could date his daughter when she came to L.A. Two of those girls are Yvonne's daughters I think. That's Janice Gillham standing behind Suzette. Hypnotized, sure, a little, but they were also wide-eyed and stupid, in their early 20s, and didn't get enough sleep on staff on the Apollo. But one thing's for sure, Hubbard was a master hypnotist and he might've been able to pull that off. Jon Atack got wind of that a long time ago. But I know a hypnotist who wrote a book with the godfather of American hypnotism and he said Hubbard's stuff was crap. I also knew another hypnotist in L.A. that Hubbard used to pay for advice, send messengers with cash and questions, etc. That guy named me as one of the people he dedicated a book to.

Oh, there's a lot I know about the old bastard. What to do with it, what to do... 

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

Bizarre moment. I think you sized it up correctly.

You know that Pic that Tony posted the other day of Annie and the bridesmaids..It was my understanding that the handmaidens were all CMO's ...They all seemed to have a similar expression in their eyes... kind of mild trance like..I do recall an inordinate amount of referencing to hypnotism among Scion's and not being any kind of an authority on the subject the photo did give me pause..

I know what Hubbard said about why he chose young females over males for being messenger's but also being that they were so young and obviously enamoured of the old man ... I have not ruled out that he had in some way had effectively placed them into a trance ... and then when Janet Reitman included that letter that Ron had written to some government agency claiming that he had the technology to rape a girl and she would not even remember it...  for all the bull crap he has done... just cannot rule it out.

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

This would be a dream come true....

Tony calls Arthur.Arthur takes the call.Tony asks the question.Arthur laughs. Answers Tony's question.Tony asks if he can quote him.Arthur says absolutely!Tony prints Arthur's statement, exposing Ron's story as less than true.DM goes nuts. Has to change his Mission Impossible boxer shorts.DM lawyers sue Arthur.New York Times annihilates COB / COS.

of course it's just a dream.


Glendower:I can call spirits from the vasty deep.

Hotspur:Why, so can I, or so can any man;But will they come when you do call for them?

Glendower:Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command The devil

Hotspur:And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil—By telling the truth. Tell truth and shame the devil.

Henry The Fourth, Part I Act 3, scene 1, 52–58


Here's one for you. I used to write Miscavige when he took over, before I knew much about him. I was being a volunteer ethics officer at ASHO and they had a veteran Sea Org member named Dorothy who was "cramming officer" in the Qualifications Division, I believe. She was sick, not getting any attention or auditing. I wrote Miscavige and he got her some attention. She was much better and thanked me. (I think just getting a doctor's attention did a lot.)

Then I got married and while waiting for me one day, my new bride was cornered by a hard-charging creep Sea Org recruiter from Germany. He had her so confused and pressured about "duty" and joining the S.O. she was about to sign. She had no idea what she would be getting into. I stepped into this just in time and told him to back off. He tried to pull rank on me, saying I was suppressive for negating her "intention." I told him to back off or I'd hurt him and he acted like he was going to do something about it. Then I pressed in a bit closer and he hustled off like he was shitting in his pants.

I wrote Miscavige and explained what had happened and said the guy acted like a Nazi (like I said, he was from Germany). I never saw the guy again. And I never heard from the dwarf again, either.

That Sea Organization crap is the biggest scam Elwrong ever pulled. When I signed a contract I thought it was like a pledge of commitment to helping people. When I found out what it really was and saw the ongoing and continuous abuse machine HUBBARD put in place, I thought it was bullshit and sometimes said so, even while still involved.

The type of $cientology abuse that is reported here and by others never went on much until Elwrong came up with that slave labor force and made people think it was noble. Every veteran $cientologist knows how true that is, but few think about it.  

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

Also, I do have some horrific stories that I was told. But I will not post them. Too Scary.

Most of these stories, if not all, seemed to have a motive to either inspire you to join Sea Org or donate more money.

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris

Well.. I will add that the story I re-told here was just a segment of many hours of trying to get me to pay in a truck-load of money... 

Personally, I found the story amusing... but did not take it for anything more than that... yet I will confidently state that everyone else in that room was absolutely convinced of it's authenticity. 

There must be countless 'tall tales' like this floating around in the inner halls of Scilon Land.

Tye Solaris
Tye Solaris


Hands down you have the 'best story' of the day... and a 'believable' one at that.

It just cracks the mind to think of all the glorious busts and portraits that the COS has created of this brave and gallant adventurer who dared to go where no man has gone before.


I was being QM (quartermaster, basically, the guard) at the Wilcox Hotel in Hollywood one night. I was standing at the glass front door looking out and big sideburns Hubbard drives by in a sports car, sees me seeing him, guns it, hits a bump and bangs the shit out of his head on the top of the car. I told people about it and they acted like I was smoking something. Later, when dating Mary Sue's best friend Nikki Merwin, Nikki told me about him being in town at that time. He was a creepy son of a bitch I'm glad I never knew. 


Someone told you a giant one. If anything like that happened, Elwrong staged it. Here's some "Ron magic" for you - despite the fact that it's raining and wee hours of the morning and slick streets, he takes his motorcycle out solo from the Apollo, wrecks it, almost kills himself, and Kima Dunleavy has to nurse him back to health because he's scared to death of hospitals and doctors. Then David Mayo invents some auditing that helps Elwrong out, and Elwrong co-opts it, acts like he came up with it, calls it Expanded Dianetics, and makes a fortune on it. David Mayo ends up out of the cult and harassed by $cientology.

Nice magic trick huh?


The one I read is less dramatic, I think it was in Bare-Faced Messiah. On his ship, Ron called a guy into his office to sign a form which was on his desk with a pen. When the guy went to sign it, the pen scooted around the desk out of his reach. Ron was doing this telekinesis for fun. Either that or Derek Green (the telex chewer) was under the desk with a magnet.

One of his former wives said he tried to make apples fall off a tree (or knock people's hats off) but he couldn't, not once. He had the power to try though.

There's also an early follower of Ron who denounced him totally at one point, but still claimed he knew a man who grew a third set of teeth because of Dianetics. I read on the web about occurrences of growing a third set of teeth. It is extremely rare, and when it happens the teeth are not regular teeth, but calcium nubs that have to be removed surgically.

There's the testimony of a woman who joined Scientology, partly because she heard Ron had the power to detonate atomic bombs with his mind.

Most of these stories added up to one thing for me. People wanted Ron to have these powerz, because other people said he did. It's like that children's game where you whisper a secret around in a circle and the last person says it out loud, and it changes.

I think the miracles were more like the ones "Sarge" reported on Marty Rathbun's blog. Sarge was shoveling shit one day, and Ron said: "Good job Sarge!"

And the rest is history. I think I did read the foot one before though. Probably from you Tye!


Oh my.  Definitely want to hear more.  Sci's lawyer, Spencer, is quoted in the article, and his lines are cold and well, interesting.

A real lulzy yet WTF quote:"Pouw disputed others who described Cook as a longtime, important church leader, asserting she had 'never held a senior management position.' "

Oh yeah, Marty was indeed there and had his 2 cents.

Now Trending

New York Concert Tickets

From the Vault