Sex Mad: Why the Rightblogger Obsession With Ladyparts Never Ends

tomt200.jpgWith all the recent women's health controversies -- Komen/Planned Parenthood, contraception in Catholic hospitals, and Virginia's plan to wand women who want abortions -- and their potential to steer women's votes away from Republicans, you'd think conservatives would prefer to get back to talking about the economy, foreign affairs, and other things normal people care about.

Some of them, sure. But many of our rightbloggers keep hangin' in. Much as they want their candidates to win, they're even more interested in standing athwart history, yelling "Is not, so there." So they're still fighting this Lost Cause as if victory were in sight, and probably will be when the rest of the world is celebrating the 100th Anniversary of Griswold v. Connecticut.

At National Review, for example, these issues have been Topic A for weeks, and always described as symptoms of encroaching orgasmo-tyranny. The National Review blog The Corner is full of posts such as "Sex & the HHS Mandate" ("The HHS mandate is a coercive codification of the libertinism of the sexual revolution"); "A Nation of Villeins" ("we are not free men, but serfs to an increasingly confident master. That is the nub of the HHS-mandate ruling"); "Abortion Advocates Wage a Misinformation Campaign over Virginia Ultrasound Legislation" ("[Doctors] shouldn't fling the abdominal inducer over the woman's stomach and claim to have 'performed' an ultrasound"); etc.

The god-bothering eventually got so egregious that editor-at-large Kathryn J. Lopez had to start her own blog to carry the run-off. (We don't see why she bothered, as The Anchoress seems already to be working that side of the street very well, with posts such as "Obama vs First Amendment Liberties," "HHS Mandate Serves Totalitarian Mindset," etc.)

When these issues first emerged, our Kulturkampfers don't bother to advance any coherent arguments showing why requiring insurers rather than churches to provide birth control is an affront to religious liberty, or why women should be wanded by the state if they request abortions, or why contraceptives are bad in the first place. They still don't, and when they do, it's just embarrassing.

For example, in "The Pill Is Not Good for Women," Erika Bachiochi and Catherine R. Pakaluk argued at National Review that birth control is evil because it "ushered in an era of unprecedented (and, as things turned out, unwarranted) confidence that sex could be pursued without risk" -- presumably via mislabeled packaging, as the products claim no such thing -- resulting in in "a staggering increase in non-marital births" since the 1960s, abortions, unwanted children, etc.

capwomen.jpg
If you're wondering why conservatives, of all people, think adults need to be protected from the consequences of their own free choices, you're not the target audience -- though it's hard to imagine even reliably rightwing National Review readers accepting Bachiochi's and Pakaluk's alternate prescription: The rhythm method, the number one birth control choice of early-20th-Century Irish Catholic households in which two or more children slept on the fire escape.

This the authors portrayed as a more woman-friendly family planning tool: "The feminist movement asked men for very little," they wrote. "We should ask them for much more." Thus, instead of forcing women to take birth control pills, Bachiochi and Pakaluk would throw to the menfolk the responsibility of asking, "Hey, when was your period again?"

At Impacting Culture, Tara Stone invented a Socratic dialogue in which Socrates argued that in the pursuit of sexual pleasure, "passions have enslaved or oppressed [a person's] free will"; also, as "pleasure can be the only end of a contracepted sexual act," it objectifies the other party; therefore, "contraception, then, must also be the opposite of liberty," that is, slavery. In her reading of Plato, Stone presumably skipped the part about the Sophists.

At Wizbang, David Robertson also tried a philosophical approach:

As I see it, liberal hate is born out of a liberal's desire to do whatever pleases the liberal, to give the liberal's flesh what it wants. Whenever a conservative uses a standard of morality that conflicts with the liberal's desire, the liberal will accuse the conservative of hatred, when in reality it is the liberal who hates the standard of morality used by the conservative.
To sum up, if a conservative takes something away from a liberal, the liberal is wrong because the conservative is wearing a crucifix. Also, why are you hitting yourself?

Not convinced? Robertson further explained: "It is always possible that a liberal will have a just cause to hate something, but if it is a just cause, then a conservative will hate it, too." No wonder there've been like 50 Republican Presidential debates -- they can say anything and it will never be so ridiculous that it won't be taken seriously by somebody.

Slightly less sweeping, but no less a master of argumentation, was The Cranky Housewife, who told readers about "the dif­ference between con­ser­v­a­tive women and pro­gres­sive women. For a progressive woman whose only con­cern in life is how to achieve her next orgasm with­out bio­log­i­cal con­se­quence -- whose central vision which is the real glass ceil­ing (which happens to be the mir­ror over her bed, her pathetic, decom­pos­ing uterus which has been chem­i­cally stripped of all repro­duc­tive function and whether someone's going to leave what she's got com­ing to her on the bed­side table)..."

We'll cut to the chase: Progressive women don't like Republicans because they're sluts. This was not the end of Cranky Housewife's comedy routine; having apparently noticed that conservative men sometimes get accused of amatory shortfalls, Cranky Housewife turned the tables and applied this treatment to... David Gergen, the famously and tiresomely bipartisan Washington insider, whom Cranky Hosuewife accused of "atti­tu­di­nal hedonism," "intel­lec­tual onanism," and failure to satisfy his wife. Bet they were busting a gut about it at the Press Club.

Despite all this conservative colloquy, a number of the brethren claimed that it was Obama who was making an issue out of contraception in order to distract us from the recovering economy and the 13,000-point Dow.


Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
34 comments
jimdav2002
jimdav2002

Daring Prediction: the more the economy recovers, & the sadder & more clueless the GOP nominees look, the more strenuously wingnuts will foam at the mouth over the dire threats to civilization that are contraception & safe, legal abortion.

Wanna know exactly why the GOP is always acting so ridiculously freaked out about sex? Google "armchairsubversive" (it's a blogspot joint) ... but don't say I didn't warn you: strong anti-depressants, Gravol & a sturdy barf-bag are all highly recommended.

Glock H. Palin, Esq.
Glock H. Palin, Esq.

"At Impacting Culture, Tara Stone invented a Socratic dialogue in which Socrates argued that in the pursuit of sexual pleasure, "passions have enslaved or oppressed [a person's] free will"; also, as "pleasure can be the only end of a contracepted sexual act," it objectifies the other party; therefore, "contraception, then, must also be the opposite of liberty," that is, slavery."

Tara, the Hague called, they're indicting you for crimes against logic.

r_dale
r_dale

Gee whiz, I need a cigarette!  And a shower.

FedSec
FedSec

"It is always possible that a liberal will have a just cause to hate something, but if it is a just cause, then a conservative will hate it, too."However, when a conservative hates something, the cause is ALWAYS just! *SIGH* These people have lost all sense of reality.

Dstatton
Dstatton

I get it: health insurance mandate, tyranny; criminalizing contraception, not tyrrany.

"We are not free men...". Yes you are, it's the women who aren't.

Okjuggler
Okjuggler

And, gentlemen, don't even THINKof spilling your seed on the ground!

KWillow
KWillow

"... progressive woman whose only con­cern in life is how to achieve her next orgasm with­out bio­log­i­cal con­se­quence..."

No, that's what  masturbation is for.

Duncan Mitchel
Duncan Mitchel

"Progressive women don't like Republicans because they're sluts."  Not *all* Republican women are sluts ... oh, wait.

Roger Ailes
Roger Ailes

I prefer Bud Macfarlane's Priestly Probings 13.  And his attempted suicide attempt over Iran-Contra.

Spokane Moderate
Spokane Moderate

orgasm with­out bio­log­i­cal con­se­quence?

Honey, what do you think an orgasm is?

RPorrofatto
RPorrofatto

That Tara Stone PLEASURE IS SLAVERY thing is really something else. (Part One gets the insanity going.) Imagining yourself as Socrates enlightening your own fawning Glaucon is the ultimate "you shoulda heard what I said to this stoopid liberal" fantasy. Stone is an MBA candidate at John Paul the Great Catholic University (a venerable old school from 2006 which seems to be the Catholic answer to Falwell and Bob Jones), and this looney dialogue really doesn't make her college look very good.

I really wish more of these people got laid once in a while because this stuff is just nuts. 

o3
o3

wonder why the theocrat wingnutz dont call for CONDOMS to be BANNED as well?

Horatius
Horatius

You cannot generate enough Santorum just by prayer and fasting. You need to add some lube too. 

adellutri
adellutri

"we are not free men, but serfs to an increasingly confident master. That is the nub ...

STOP TURNING ME ON CONSERVATIVE MOTHERFUCKERS

figoliu
figoliu

 Dating may sound like a depressing chore When you have herpes. You may be afraid that you will frighten a possible partner away whenever you tell them you've herpes. But having herpes is not the end of the world. I found my boyfriend and many good friends on   herpesdateonline.c(0)m, a dating site for people living with herpes. Good luck to you all!

 

commie atheist
commie atheist

Also, "more people having more sex means more pregnancies, contraception or not, and many of those new lives will end suddenly and painfully in abortion chambers," said Voris. "How can anyone seriously defend contraception and birth control as legitimate?"

How, indeed.  Apparently contraception actually causes pregnancy, rather than preventing it.  Does Obama's evil know no bounds?

Once again, just when you think that peak wingnut is within reach, the bastards turn the crazy up to 11, and beyond.  Like someone said, these people think "The Handmaid's Tale" is not a cautionary tale, but rather an instruction manual.  

stan chaz
stan chaz

What a circus. Republicans condemn condoms! Republicans praise rape as a gift from God. Republicans endorse trans-vaginal probes. Republicans hate women (and men who want to plan their families). What’s next? Republicans mandate missionary-position only? Hey, Newt was right. ‘Cause Newt and all his Republican friends SHOULD set up a moon colony.... AND GO THERE! Then, they could tell each other what to do and how to live and who to love.... while leaving the REST of us alone, here on Earth. Newt, I always KNEW that you were a problem-solver. Unfortunately, you and your Republican friends ARE the problem...

Guest
Guest

By all means, conservatives, keep up this line of attack, I think it'll be a real winner with women voters.

Substance McGravitas
Substance McGravitas

Peter Wehner of The American Interest claimed, "I am neither Catholic nor Evangelical... I have no dog in this fight."

How can you say that, Peter Wehner?

Substance McGravitas
Substance McGravitas

as "pleasure can be the only end of a contracepted sexual act," it objectifies the other party

Think of all the dastardly acts libertines do at the behest of this idol called "pleasure":  through my binoculars I can see the perverts across the way playing CHECKERS.

Roy T.
Roy T.

That's what Kleenex are for, silly.

say goodnite gracie
say goodnite gracie

Know who also preferred Bud Macfarlane? Nancy Reagan. The idea that Bud would kill himself to save Ronnie gave her...well, an orgasm without biological consequence.

Roger Ailes
Roger Ailes

By the way, Pierced by the Sword contains characters rejected from the Left Behind series for being too Catholic. I'm not making this up: 

"Nathan Payne A troubled young securities broker from Chicago. Will Nathan find the faith to win the love of Joanie Wheat – a woman of deep Catholic convictions?

Becky Macadam A stunningly beautiful young woman, away from the faith since childhood, alone and pregnant in the heartless city of Chicago.

Father Chet Sulivan A fast-talking young priest from New Jersey with a penchant for getting into trouble.

Tom Wheat The foremost U.S. expert on Marian Apparitions, desperately trying to warn the world about The Coming Tribulations. Can Wheat reach the country in time?

Lee Washington A drug dealer from Cleveland, living in the fast lane in L.A. Will he keep his appointment with Our Lady?

Pope Patrick A no-nonsense Irish Pope who drives his own car and travels in disguise, unaware that there is a bounty on his head...

Joe Jackson A soft-spoken, shy, former NFL football star from Louisiana."

Between the Negro Black Colored who's dealing drugs to the Virgin Mary and the Oirish Pope who drives in drag (but not because there's a bounty on his head), the parallells to 2012 are uncanny.

Horatius
Horatius

 For a group of people who masturbate so furiously, you would think they would know.

Roy T.
Roy T.

I wondered about that too. Also, "Ogabelini." Is it just another word for Obama (like Obammy, Odumbo, etc.) or an actual person? I was going to ask, but didn't want to appear ignorant. Fortunately, Glenn took the hit for me.

FedSec
FedSec

I believe it is safe to say that the author of that line is a lousy lay.

Atticus Dogsbody
Atticus Dogsbody

 I've heard tell of folks who take pleasure in praying and going to church. I guess they think that their god is some sort of two-bit whore.

commie atheist
commie atheist

 I understand that some of our young people spend much of their time listening to this "rock and roll" so-called "music," and dancing lasciviously to it.  Satan would be pleased.

Al Swearengen
Al Swearengen

Every sperm is sacred,Every sperm is great.For every sperm that is wasted,God gets quite irate.

Jonhendry
Jonhendry

Becky Macadam? Pregnant? With a tar baby?

Djur
Djur

Obama + Mugabe. And then (Obama + Mugabe) + Mussolini. Because Obama is sending out his street thugs to disenfranchise white people ALL THE TIME, if you're a pants-pissing racist honky.

Now Trending

New York Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...