Jeremy Lin and Knicks Sex Tips from Dr. Ruth Westheimer

Categories: Allen Barra

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"When you get the credit for the wins," Casey Stengel famously said, "you gotta take the blame for the losses." True, but there was a lot more to the Knicks 102-88 loss to the Heat Thursday night than Jeremy Lin.

The statistic which probably best defined the night was Lin's 8 turnovers. But the rest of the Knicks didn't exactly pick up the slack. Amare Stoudemire also had a case of shaky hands with 6 TOs in the first 24 minutes. Dwell on these: The Knicks were outscored 30-16 in the paint, 12-1 on fast breaks, and 12-3 off turnovers. Consider that much of this happened when Lin was on the bench.

Not to make excuses for Lin, or any of the Knicks but damn, they sure looked tired playing a road game the night after a win against Atlanta in New York. At halftime, Charles Barclay was the only one who stated the obvious: "This team really looks like it could have used a night off." And as for Lin, "He looks exhausted physically and mentally."

But Dwayne Wade was generous in his postgame comments: "First of all, he deserves all the credit he's been given. We knew it was going to be a tough task guarding him ... He's a good player, but we put a lot of pressure on him, and it was a success."

While we wait to see if Lin and the Knicks can reignite against the Cleveland Cavaliers next Wednesday, let's all heed the advice of an ardent Knicks fan, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, on the Daily Beast.

Dr. Ruth advises that studying Lin's game can lead to better sex: "Sex, like basketball, is a team sport. If one of you is making all the moves and the other is just lying there, you're not going to have good sex, or even mediocre sex. You have to learn to play together and if you do, you can score repeatedly."

She also notes, "One more lesson that couples can learn from basketball. Before the game begins, the teams go out onto the court and warm up. They shoot balls and run around to get the blood flowing. Such warm-up activities in sex fall into the realm of what we call foreplay ... Foreplay-shirking leads to the dissatisfaction of one partner, leading to less sex and potentially a breakup of the team".

I'm not going to disagree with Dr. Ruth, who's spent a lot more time on the court than I have. But what if you're on target for a really good assist and your partner has their eye on the TV watching George Clooney on David Letterman? What if you're setting up for a three pointscore and your partner is checking the Knicks score on her iPhone?

And what if you try to be a team player and all your partner wants to do is ... watch Jeremy Lin play basketball? My advice to Knicks fans everywhere: Record the game and use it for background instead of Adele.

A tip: a replay of the Lakers game can can lead to double overtime.


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1 comments
Kevin Johnson
Kevin Johnson

This is so dumb. Where do these "doctors" come from?

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